Soccer Page 239 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Barcelona's Farcical Summer Of Discontent Slips Further Into Absurdity
Barcelona should be one of the most prestigious and respected institutions in world sports. This hallowed club should be capable of attracting and retaining the absolute best soccer players around the globe, operating with a dignity and professionalism befitting such a revered club in an era that in...
Qarabağ Just Became The Feel-Good Story Of The Champions League
Dino Ndlovu scored a second-half goal that proved to be just enough for the Azerbaijani club Qarabağ, as today they advanced to their first-ever Champions League group stage, winning their matchup with FC København by virtue of away goals. With this win, Qarabağ is now a thrilling underdog about to ...
Manchester City's Owners Buy La Liga Club Girona
The long-awaited deal that adds newly promoted La Liga club Girona to City Football Group’s growing roster of world soccer teams appears to be all but completed. When it’s final, Girona will join MLS’s NYCFC and Manchester City, as well as clubs in Australia, Japan, and Uruguay in CFG’s portfolio....
Wayne Rooney Announces Retirement From England National Team
Wayne Rooney appears to be in the early stages of a career renaissance after leaving Manchester United for Everton this summer, so it’s a little odd that he’d pick this time to announce that he has declined a call-up with the England team and instead has decided to officially retire from internation...
Cristiano Ronaldo On Rejection Of Ban Appeal: "Injustices Will Never Bring Me Down"
Cristiano Ronaldo seems to think that everything bad that happens to Cristiano Ronaldo is proof of a vast worldwide conspiracy to besmirch the reputation of Cristiano Ronaldo. This explains why he would describe the Spanish tax authorities seeking to collect on some €15 million they believe he may h...
Petty-Ass Barcelona Are Now Suing Neymar Over Some Bullshit
It’s been a rough few weeks for FC Barcelona. First, they sat there helplessly as Paris Saint-Germain smooth-talked Neymar away from them right in front of everyone’s faces; then they were humiliated in the Spanish Super Cup by their blood rivals, Real Madrid; then, in a futile effort to paper over ...
Wayne Rooney Met Some Old Friends<em></em>
The photo above shows Everton striker Wayne Rooney antagonizing the nearby Manchester City fans after he’d just scored against the home team during yesterday’s match. The keen-eyed Twitter user @Mirallas noticed that this picture bears a striking resemblance to another post-goal Rooney celebration a...
Soccer Match Interrupts Security Guard's Very Important Phone Call
We’ve all been there, trying to have a phone conversation at a desk in a room when all of a sudden something like a school class breaks out around us and we’re getting yelled at as if we’re the jerks. ...
David Silva's New Hairdo Bums Me Out
Hair loss, like death, is coming for us all. No matter how strong your genes are, life eventually steals your flowing locks and turns them white, or, worse yet, takes them altogether. You can fight it, but nature always wins. Which brings us to Manchester City attacker David Silva....
Jack Wilshere Is Back On The Pitch, Back To Getting Dumb Red Cards
Jack Wilshere, the oldest 25-year-old in history, is still on the path to recovery after an injury he picked up on loan at Bournemouth last season. To warm up for the new campaign, Wilshere played in Arsenal’s U-23 match against Manchester City today. He put on a quintessentially Wilsherean show, pi...
Manchester United Have That Old Swagger Back
Last year, Manchester United were a team full of hesitant superstars who punched below their weight and only redeemed a shoddy sixth-place finish by winning the Europa League. Expensive debutante Paul Pogba wasn’t the sort of immediate world-beater so many people (unfairly) thought he’d be, and the ...
Bournemouth Player Prevents Possible Goal Using Nothing But His Voice
Saturday’s Bournemouth-Watford game featured a curious incident when Nathaniel Chalobah, in perfect position to score, ran up to and right on past the ball seemingly for no good reason. Thanks to the fine folks at the BBC’s Match of the Day, we now know that this wasn’t an inexplicable brain fart on...
Christian Pulisic Kicks Off The Bundesliga Season Like A Superstar
Every time I worry the American soccer press (Deadspin included) is being too hyperbolic in their praise and general hype for Christian Pulisic, he goes and assuages those fears with a marvelous performance. Consider today’s Bundesliga opener, which comes amid Ousmane Dembele’s transfer saga as well...
How Barcelona's Scramble To Replace Neymar Might Send Christian Pulisic To The Stars<em></em>
It wasn’t really supposed to happen like this. French teen sensation Kylian Mbappé was slated to be this summer’s headlining transfer, with the usual suspects in Madrid, Paris, and Barcelona fighting over the right to pay one-sixth of a billion dollars for his signature. Instead, Neymar somehow went...
Chelsea's Manager Can't Stop Laughing At Diego Costa
A few days ago, Diego Costa let some wandering Daily Mail reporter into his home in Brazil and proceeded to lay out in considerable, hilarious detail just how fed up he is with how Chelsea and the manager, Antonio Conte, who Costa says “lacks charisma,” have treated him. Today Conte himself was aske...
How Not To React When Your Team Gives Up A Goal
Everton hosted Croatian side Hajduk Split for a Europa League qualifier this afternoon, which meant that hundreds of Hajduk fans traveled to Liverpool for the game. They appeared to be ready to get rowdy before the match, and they delivered once things started. Everton’s Michael Keane (no apparent r...
Champions League Coverage Set To Get Fucked The Same Way EPL Coverage Has
In their infinite wisdom, NBC recently saw fit to take a good and beloved Premier League broadcast strategy and make it bad and hated by cleaving its once-unified televised and streaming services into two smaller and less satisfying parts, and charging for each separately. Turner, which recently bou...
Arsène Wenger Is Sorry For All The Times He Made Arsenal Fans Cry
Arsène Wenger often talks about managing Arsenal the way old couples talk about marriage, or how parents talk about raising kids, or how other old couples talk about saying to hell with their marriage and the kids and getting a divorce—that is, he describes it as hard, thankless work that for the mo...
Marco Asensio Just Wrecked Barcelona So Hard They Should Just Shut Down The Club
Here lies FC Barcelona, a formerly famed and hallowed soccer club that not too long ago was on the top of the world but through the capriciousness of one of its ex-stars, the borderline criminal mismanagement of those charged with run it, and the ruthlessly cruel manner in which their rivals Real Ma...
Ronaldo Calls Five-Match Suspension For Shoving Ref "Persecution"
After Real Madrid’s appeal of Cristiano Ronaldo’s five-match suspension for shoving a referee was denied today, the Portuguese star whined about the decision on social media, writing, “It’s impossible to stay quiet in this situation, five matches! To me it seems exaggerated and ridiculous, this is w...