Soccer Page 359 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Mario Balotelli Does Thing
Even though he promised to stop doing Mario Balotelli things after last weekend's strip club incident, Mario Balotelli has done another Mario Balotelli thing. The Man City striker was reportedly asked to leave Manchester's Trafford Centre after refusing to take off his hood, in violation of mall rul...
While Messi Was Scoring Five Goals, Cristiano Ronaldo's $300,000 Lamborghini Was Getting Towed
Remember when "Messi or Ronaldo" was like, a thing? Feel silly these days, don't we....
Neymar Basically Dribbled A Ball Into The Goal From 70 Yards Yesterday
Santos star and Brazilian international Neymar has been linked time and again, often prematurely, to transfers to big European clubs. But Neymar is still in Brazil, perhaps because he can do things there like dribble the entire length of the field without someone giving him a tumble, which is what...
Some Irish Soccer Hooligans Just Couldn't Hold In Their Excitement
Every year, soccer clubs from Ireland and Northern Ireland meet in the Setanta Cup tournament to battle for local football supremacy. Sligo, the Irish side, won a 2-0 decision over Northern Ireland's Glentoran on Monday night, but the trouble started when the Glentoran fans headed back to their tour...
Clint Dempsey Is Officially Too Good For Fulham
From now until the end of the season, we'll be posting a number of clips from the previous weekend's English Premier League games. If there's a goal, save, dive, lip-read profanity, or hocked sputum we should know about, drop us a line at [email protected]. (You might also enjoy our better-late-than...
Unconscious Soccer Player Gets Red Card For Diving
Diving is a serious problem in soccer, yes? One referee is fighting the good fight, no matter how many critically injured players he has to send off....
Major League Soccer's Facebook Account Likes Strippers
Several tipsters have sent in what appears to be an example of the dreaded "logged in to the wrong account" snafus that must keep social media interns awake at night....
Mario Balotelli Hangs Out With Strippers, Scores The Next Day, May Be Out $396,000
Just a routine weekend in Liverpool, really. On Saturday, Balotelli scored his 14th goal of the season for Manchester City as they went on to beat the Bolton Wanderers 2-0. But it was his Friday night stripper sighting that concerns us—and may cost him. Balotelli was reportedly spotted leaving a Li...
Soviet Russian Wayne Rooney Presents: Tottenham Hotspur Vs. Manchester United Open Thread
Because soccer is Communist, we figured we'd have a bit of Party-approved fun. Fox Soccer says it's a "Clash of the Giants," though they've been portraying everything, including infomercials, that way for a week. Here's your open thread—er, открытая тема—for today's match at White Hart Lane....
This Rocket Goal From Hulk Can Only Be Described As Incredible
Last night's O Classico battle between Portugal's two top teams didn't disappoint, and with a late goal off a free kick FC Porto downed Benfica 3-2. But it was the opening goal that was most impressive, as Brazilian forward Hulk launched a rocket early in the match that broke 60 miles an hour. [E...
Shirtless Arsenal Fan Is A Bit Too Excited About The Gunners' 2-1 Win Over Liverpool
Robin van Persie continued his epic goal-scoring campaign in the Premier League today, scoring both Arsenal goals—the second in stoppage time—to lead his team to a road win at Anfield today. It gave van Persie 25 goals on the season in as many matches, and sent this Arsenal supporter into an ecst...
Philadelphia Union Preseason Friendly Called Off After Not-So-Friendly Fight
The Union are on a tour of Costa Rica to tune up for the start of the MLS regular season, and today's opponents were Primera División side AD Belen. The match was called off midway through the first half, with Belen up 2-0, when the teams engaged in some kicking and shoving....
Needing A Nine-Goal Swing To Qualify, Bahrain Wins Match 10-0
Here's every goal in Bahrain's 10-0 thumping of Indonesia, which was already fielding a bunch of junior players due to internal suspensions. Indonesia's goalkeeper was sent off in the third minute, and the floodgates opened....
The U.S. Beat Italy For The First Time Ever Thanks To This Clint Dempsey Goal
With Landon Donovan unfit to take the pitch, the U.S. wasn't given much chance to beat Italy in today's international friendly match in Genoa. But Clint Dempsey—scoring machine for Fulham of late—drew first blood for the Yanks off a timely pass from Jozy Altidore. It was the first non-penalty sco...
Scoring Skillful Own Goals When Everybody's Talking About Fixed Matches Probably Isn't A Good Move
When Galatasaray's Semih Kaya adeptly directed a ball past his own goalkeeper this weekend, it knotted the much-anticipated Istanbul Derby vs. Besiktas at two goals a piece with fewer than 20 minutes remaining....
German Soccer Fans Serenade Israeli Player With "Racist Insults And Nazi Salutes"
"[Kaiserslautern striker Itay Shechter] was subjected to a verbal racist attack while training with his German league club on Sunday, when a group of between five and 10 fans in a crowd of at least 100 chanted anti-Semitic slogans. They also gave the Nazi salute, which is banned in Germany....
Soccer Player Says Soccer Players Prefer Prostitutes Because Prostitutes Are Trustworthy
Tottenham's Louis Saha is 33 and pushing an autobiography. To promote it, Saha is using the tried and true method of discussing the penchant of Premier League players to frequent prostitutes:...
This Is The New USMNT Away Jersey, Unless It Isn't
Leaking, and debating the leaks of the national team jerseys is something of a pastime for American soccer fans, the Apple fanboys of sports. With new designs on the horizon, the winter has seen its fair share of speculation. First was the blocky stripes of the supposed home uniform, which found a g...
Next Time Someone Wants To Argue Soccer Is Lame Because Everyone Flops, Play This Video Of Lionel Messi
I don't know if it's the music or the man but there is something hypnotizing about this video of Messi. His legs never stop churning, an observation even more noticeable because they are so small. The word "gritty" comes to mind but Messi is actually, you know, good. [reddit]...
Cristiano Ronaldo's Latest Goal Was Truly Outrageous
A well-played match to the point by Rayo Vallecano fell to bits when Real Madrid's Cristiano Ronaldo put the Whites up 1-0 with this straight-up stupid blind back heel goal that somehow navigated itself past teammates, defenders, and the keeper. Call it a ¡ozaloG! [ESPN Deportes]...