"Kenny Shiels Is A Bawbag" And Other Reactions To A Scottish Soccer Coach's Crazy Idea

Kenny Shiels is the manager of the Scottish Premier League's Kilmarnock F.C. Manuel Pascali, one of the club's midfielders, is supposed to serve the second of a two-game suspension this Saturday against Celtic, but Shiels disagrees.

"According to my mathematics, Manuel Pascali has served two full games," said Shiels.

The Kilmarnock boss added: "He played for the first three minutes and got sent off against St Johnstone, which lasted 93 minutes.

"So, he has completed 90 minutes against St Johnstone and he missed last Saturday, so he will definitely be in the squad - if not starting.

"I think technically I'm right so I'll play him and then see where that takes us."

Ah, of course. Math and technicalities. Soccer fans will take kindly to this. Or not:

So many Scottish pejoratives! The best part is that we have no idea which ones are actually just typos.

Kilmarnock manager Kenny Shiels to flout Manuel Pascali ban [BBC]