It’s the game of games, the show of shows, and the event to end all other events. A reason to get together, drink, eat, and watch lots of grown men in pads smack into each other for pleasure. The Super Bowl can be described in so many different ways. And Deadspin is here to tell you how Sunday’s big spectacle will play out. I’m sure one of us will be exactly right.
If social media is to be believed, the script is already written for the game and the Eagles will win 37-34, making Patrick Mahomes a two-time Super Bowl loser. As improved as the Chiefs’ defense is, it’s the weak link on either sideline. Philadelphia’s offense and defense have looked dominant in the playoffs. Yet, the Eagles have had an incredibly easy road to the Super Bowl, whether those in Philly want to admit it or not. That truly ends here. Does previous Super Bowl experience win out? Or does the team with the higher ceiling live up to that potential with the lights on brightest? I’m going with the former, as Tom Brady has proved on so many occasions.
Chiefs 27, Eagles 23
Mahomes can pull out all the tricks he wants, but Philadelphia is too healthy, has too many strengths, and their pass rush is too intense. Mahomes has pulled off some incredible Jedi improvisational moves to get Kansas City out of the AFC, but the Eagles are a team of destiny and the Chiefs are not a dynasty. The Chiefs will be competitive, but eventually, the dam will break and the Eagles’ triple-threat offense will overpower KC behind their all-universe offensive line.
Eagles 41, Chiefs 31
Jalen Hurts is going to black out from stage fright and have the worst game of his professional career.
Chiefs 65, Eagles 0
As a Denver Bronco fan in North Jersey, I hate both the Kansas City Chiefs and the Philadelphia Eagles and wish both teams could somehow lose. I likely won’t be watching closely because of my hatred for these squads but I think it will come down to the wire — a game-winning score as time expires or a drive that comes up short as the clock winds down. Philly wins and the residents destroy their city.
Eagles 29, Chiefs 27
The Giants will cap off an impossible comeback over the New England Patriots when Eli Manning completes a last-minute prayer to David Tyree in a play that will forever be remembered as one of the most incredible in Super Bowl history. New York wins, 17-14, and Manning is named MVP for the first time (but not the last) in his Hall of Fame career.
Oh, you meant this year? Shit.
Eagles 27, Chiefs 17
I have no dog in this fight, but since I have to pick I’m going with the Eagles — even though I’m still pissed that they beat my Patriots in the Super Bowl just a few years ago. Earlier this season, I was waiting for the wheels to eventually fall off for Philadelphia. But, they proved me wrong and have consistently been the best team in the league all season. And while I understand that Kansas City may be the sexier pick, I’m old enough to remember that during this historic run that the Chiefs have been on since Mahomes took over, they’ve lost more big games in the AFC Championship Game and Super Bowl than they’ve won.
Eagles 31, Chiefs 21
It won’t be easy, but I think the Chiefs will find a way to exploit Philadelphia’s defensive weaknesses with Mahomes and Andy Reids’ innovative offense. Let’s not forget that Jalen Hurts’ shoulder still isn’t 100 percent, and if the Chiefs can force him to beat them through the air most of the game and be close down the stretch, they’ve got the best QB in football on their side. Kansas City’s defense is their most glaring weakness, but in big games, they’ve found a way to come up with enough plays to get them through and allow the offense to take ‘em home. Mahomes, Reid, and the Chiefs will find a way to bring home another Lombardi trophy.
Chiefs 30, Eagles 28
If the point of this exercise is to correctly pick the winner, I’d go with the Philadelphia Eagles. Their defensive line is basically a bunch of weaponized velociraptors, and Patrick Mahomes won’t be able to favor his injured ankle on Sunday. However, fuck the Eagles. I have the Kansas City Chiefs beating the Eagles.
Chiefs 85, Eagles 3
I can’t shake the feeling the Eagles are just too good on both lines to lose this. We’ve seen Mahomes harassed in a Super Bowl before. While he’s better at dealing with it now and basically becoming Tom Brady in never throwing a pass over five yards, I don’t see the Chiefs getting enough stops on the other side to come out ahead.
Eagles 24, Chiefs 17
They say that styles make fights. If that is true, then the style clash in this Super Bowl should be a doozy. The multiple-headed rushing attack of the Eagles against the dynamic Chiefs’ offense. The Chiefs will want to take an early lead and force the Eagles to pass more frequently than normal. This would allow the Chiefs to be explosive on defense as well by feeling free to rush the passer. If the Eagles can ground and pound the Chiefs into dust on both lines of the line of scrimmage, they will be able to keep Mahomes. off of the field. That is the best defense there is. As the game wears on, the Chiefs’ speed will end up being too much for the Eagles.
Chiefs 38, Eagles 25