a Page 7766 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Ozzie Guillen Has No Sympathy For Clevelanders
Guillen was nice enough to autograph a ball for an Indians fan before last night's game. He also put a personalized message on there. (Other side, just as knife-twisting, after the jump.)...
Tampa Bawww: Scribes Cry Foul Over Northeast Super Bowl
As soon as Roger Goodell announced that the 2014 Super Bowl would be played at the new Meadowlands Stadium, our nation's finest sportswriters hit the panic button. But lets bring them in from the cold with a little, you know, logic....
Last Night's Winner: The Stupid Zone Defense
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the Phoenix Suns' 2-3 zone, which has thus far discombobulated the Lakers and which is otherwise a regrettable development for hoopish fops like me....
Albert Haynesworth Was In Love With A Stripper (Until She Got Pregnant)
So now he's not. The Brooklyn woman met Haynesworth at the Super Bowl, but he dumped her in March when she got in the family way. She's suing for $10 million, which is chump change for Dan Snyder employees. [NY Post]...
Target Field Squirrel Delays Game, Attacks Infielder
The Twins game was stopped in the fourth inning, as an errant squirrel made his way to the field. Brendan Harris nearly met his death, with nasty, big, pointy teeth....
After Seeing This Promo Pitch, Who Wouldn't Want To Go On A Cruise With Rick Dempsey?
Walkoff Walk discovered this gem of a YouTube video where one cadence-challenged pitchman tries to sell this Rick Dempsey (himself!) luxury cruise. You will. Talk like. This. All day. [WalkoffWalk]...
Here's An Indonesian Toddler Who Smokes 40 Cigs Per Day
Exasperated mum says: "He's totally addicted. If he doesn't get cigarettes, he gets angry and screams and batters his head against the wall. He tells me he feels dizzy and sick." Do they have 3-1-1 in Musi Banyuasin? [TheSun]...
Erin Andrews Shows Off Her Dancing Wounds
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...
The New Tim Lincecum Cartoon Will Give You A Contact High
Another day, another baffling sports figure TV show appearance. Today we have the inaugural episode of Timmy & Bus, a cartoon that is for children in the way that all unicorn-vehicular-manslaughter cartoons are for children. [Tauntr]...
Erin Andrews Has Made It After All
It wasn't that long ago that everyone wondered how Erin Andrews could ever recover from her humiliating and scary stalker episode. Now she's rolling around in lingerie and letting people rave about her ass. Looks like she made it....
Aural Secs: David Ortiz's 30-Second Tater Trot Explained With Music
In honor of David Ortiz's Roger Bannister moment last night, an Aural Secs is in order. Unlike frequent Aural Secs subject Usain Bolt, Ortiz is quite slow, so we're going with the final chord in "A Day In The Life."...
Photos From The World Poutine-Eating Championship Will Disgust You
Last Saturday, Toronto hosted the first-ever Major League Eating-sanctioned poutine-eating contest, and by the looks of it, it was a gravy-and-curd-soaked madhouse. Torontoist has an account of the festivities and more photos like this one of Pete "Pretty Boy" Davekos. [Torontoist]...
Mississippi State Recruit Bodyslams Math Teacher Onto Unemployment Line
Click to view Here's video of Jamerson Love, a cornerback for Aberdeen High School, wrestling now-former algebra teacher Shobul Johnson. Allegedly, Johnson asked his students to "black out the windows" and "move the furniture" before commencing to rumble. Then he got his asymptote kicked. [Rivals]...
And Now A Photo Of Evan Longoria's Penis. Allegedly.
Those Beantown rapscallions at Barstool Sports have posted a photo of what one woman claims is the Rays' third baseman's prodigious bologna hammer. If you choose to click, remember that the safety of your workplace may be in peril. PENISPHOTO....
Hideki Irabu Resurfaces With A DUI
Raise your hand if you knew Irabu was living in Los Angeles, let alone still alive. Well, he's living it up, getting busted on suspicion of drunken driving last week. [KTLA]...
Is The Dude Using The Printer Watching You Watch Porn?
I went into a fitting room the other day and the room had mirrors on three sides. This is fucking awesome. I'll never NOT feel like I've walked into the middle of Enter The Dragon when I encounter a room with this kind of arrangement. WHICH DREW IS THE REAL DREW?! Also, if you enjoy studying yoursel...
Today In Tacky World Cup Marketing: Hyundai's Soccer Car
Soccer-ball wheels, soccer-cleat sideviews, artificial-turf interiors make for one hideous promotional vehicle. At the same time, shouldn't every sport be doing this? I want to laugh at a Ford F-150 outfitted with a Buccaneers helmet, stat. [Copyranter]...
Eddy Curry Can't Pay His Bills
Curry, who made $273,000 per minute the past two seasons, hasn't paid a personal loan he took out in 2008. It was a five-month loan, at 85 percent interest. Wait until you read what he spent his money on instead....
Mexico Fans Win Important Football Fancy Dress Battle
During any football match, there are numerous battles going on. You've got the obvious one on the pitch, accompanied by hundreds of verbal ones in local pubs around the country, whilst in a wasteland somewhere geographically equidistant from the clubs......
Pukey Phillies Fan Cops A Plea; His Crazy Uncle Weighs In
Matthew Clemmens pleaded guilty today to assault; he's expected to receive probation. But the real news is that we heard back from his conspiracy theorist uncle!...