aba Page 138 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Foolish New York Assemblyman Makes MMA In New York More Dangerous
Way back when (circa 2000), MMA was banned in many states. In the places where it was legal, the bloodsport was regulated with varying degrees of competency. Today, the MMA map looks quite different as sanctioning and better rules have spread across the land. With one notable holdout....
Rays' Spring Training Stadium Infested By Bats, Covered In Bat Shit
Alternate headline: Bats! Bats! Oh God So Many Bats! Exterminators say they'll have the situation under control by the start of Spring Training games, but their solution amounts to building a big house just for the bats just outside the stadium. I hope they release the bats for game-winning home run...
Some Chickenshit SEC School Complained About Alabama's Fax-Cam Girls
An unnamed SEC school filed a complaint with the conference over the girls Bama was using to retrieve faxes and post names on Signing Day. Mike Slive chided Alabama's AD. Oh, this gets the SEC to act swiftly. [AP]...
Alabama Livens Up Staid Fax-Cam With Sex Appeal
Bama's doing the traditional webcam-pointed-at-their-fax-machine for National Signing Day. Boring, until you notice the "talent" they've got retrieving the incoming faxes. [via EDSBS]...
Kansas State Basketball Doesn't Bother Spelling Freshman's Name Rigth
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
MMA Fighter Who Lost Ear Has Mangled Remains Reattached
This happened on New Year's Day in Japan. That's Kazushi Sakuraba, legendary fighter known as the "Gracie Hunter". That's part of his ear exploding. Miraculously, it was reattached. [All Elbows/Esther Lin](via Zak Woods)...
Goal Of The Year Wasn't The Year's Best Goal (Among Other FIFA Ballon d'Or Oversights)
This post, written by Richard Anderson, is republished with permission from The Spoiler. Go there often if you like soccer stuff....
Confusion Over Garza-Benoit Confusion Finally Resolved
So the Chicago Sun-Times wasn't the only paper to mix up Matt Garza and Joaquín Benoit. The Daily Herald made the same mistake. But don't blame the papers. The error originated with a bad cutline from a wire photographer. Asshole....
<em>Chicago Sun-Times</em> Mixes Up Its Latino Baseball Players
The Cubs on Friday traded for Tampa Bay pitcher Matt Garza. Apparently, this confused the Chicago Sun-Times, which slapped a full-page photo on its back cover of...Joaquín Benoit. Both pitchers are right-handed. Both have facial hair. Let's stop there....
Last Night's Winner: Thundersnow And Communist China
Let us call it "Thundersnow" — a Norwegian black metal band of a winter menace, which deposited 18-20 inches of drifting white stuff across the Northeast, canceled football in Philadelphia, and emasculated America....
Batshit Hall Of Fame Voter: "I Compare PED Users To Murderers"
And we compare Lowell Cohn to a cymbal-banging monkey toy. I'm beginning to suspect HOF voters really do fancy themselves an elite task force of karacter kops. Drugs make people crazy. A Hall of Fame ballot makes people crazier. [PressDemocrat.com, Business Insider]...
Last Night's Winner: The Brett Favre Miracle
The following comprises actual phrases from actual stories written about a quarterback who last night performed the miracle of transfiguring his old ass off the injured list. These are taken verbatim....
Keith McCants Got Arrested On Crack-Related Charges Again
In 1990, the Tampa Bay Buccanners made Keith McCants the number four pick in the NFL draft. Didn't really work out. Yesterday, he logged his sixth drug-related arrest since Feb. 2008....
Natty Light Fueled Alabama Fan Gits Into Some Real Profane Talk 'Bout Auburn
Remember in Apocalypse Now when Kurtz gets to talking about watching snails crawl along the edge of a razor blade. Now that Auburn dropped the Gamecocks 56-17, this gentleman is more likely than not out-Brandoing Brando....
Alabama Football Staffer Fired For Playing "Take the Money and Run" Before Iron Bowl
The university announced that the part-time employee was fired for playing "unauthorized" music at Bryant-Denny Stadium. The unauthorized music also happened to be directed at Auburn quarterback Cam Newton....
Alabama Gas Station Makes Shopping For Contraception, Saban Photos Easier
Shopping season is upon us and tipster Nick B. sends in a suggestion for those looking to procure pre-framed images of Alabama Crimson Tide head coaches: Just find the jimmy hats....
Nevada Fans See Boise Drivin' 'Round Town With The BCS Bid They Love, And They're Like, F*ck You
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
So, Yeah, Auburn's Losing By A Lot
It's 24-7 Alabama at halftime of the Iron Bowl. We're 30 minutes away from the BCS shitstorm to end all BCS shitstorms. At least the NCAA could take their time with the Cam Newton investigation....
What Objects Are We Putting In Our Rectums?
Let's have some more fun with the Sun-Sentinel's emergency room database, shall we? Here's a list of various objects that in various contexts were lodged in various rectums. Verbatim:...
Another Children's Treasury Of Bizarre Injuries
Last year, we brought you some highlights from the Sun-Sentinel's database of emergency room visits. They've updated it for the holidays, so we've picked it through for some of the stranger hospitalizations....