ac Page 1112 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
There Is Another Sanchez Living Inside Mark Sanchez's Mouth
New York media, please be on high alert: It turns out the man drafted to save the Jets' franchise from the ghost of Favre and the incompetence of Clemens/Ratliff allegedly is lip- inked and loves doggy-style....
Norm Macdonald's Bob Uecker Story
Obviously I find anything this man does ridiculously entertaining. This is no exception. [Videogum]...
Reporter Sees Rat, Freaks Out In Exact Highly Amusing Way You'd Expect
The above video, featuring Comcast SportsNet's Capitals reporter Lisa Hillary suffering a highly entertaining, if ultimately non-life-threatening, heart-attack while being terrorized by a Verizon Center rat, represents our first exposure to playoff hockey in years....
Allison Stokke Is Now Open For Business
Yesterday, a ridiculously predictable press release came in from Spike TV about their "Guys Choice Awards" and one of the categories was for "Sexiest Athlete." Guess who's nominated?...
Sasha Cohen Is Here To Save America's Gold
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Soccer Player Killed By Lightning, Then Goes On With His Life
Here's another story of deceased soccer fans, only this one has a happy ending, because the kid in question was lucky enough to be raised from the dead....
Phoenix Coyotes Go Bankrupt, Forget To Tell NHL
Remember when the Jets left Winnipeg for Phoenix and everyone said, "Real smart! Putting a hockey team in the desert!" Yeah, they're probably on the way back to Canada with their tail between their legs....
The OKC Thunder Fans Are Adorable, Kinda Dumb
The Oklahoma City Thunder, still hopped-up on progress and the promise of a new non-Sonic era, have decided to give back to their fans in the nicest way possible....
You Could Be A Heartless Corporate Giant For One Day
The Peoria Chiefs want to sell naming rights for their stadium, but there are no companies left in America with the financial security to finance such a project. So do you have $6,000?...
Meet The Woman Who Saved Zack Greinke From Himself
Her name is Emily Kuchar. She is engaged to Greinke. According to him, she's the cool, refreshing Peach Daiquiri that keeps the Greinke crazy straw stirring. [MLB.com]...
Albert Haynesworth Sued, But No Hard Feelings
The man injured in a car accident involving Albert Haynesworth is suing the Titans lineman for $7.5 million. "He's the man, but I'm still not mad. I don't have anything against him." [Tennessean]...
Walk Off Homer Disallowed By Premature Hand Slapping
It's one thing to be a stickler for the rules, it's another to be a stickler who protests a perfectly legit home run because of an obscure, pointless rule—and doesn't even read the rule right....
Catch A Ride On The Greinke Train
Look, we're all friends here. You've got certain feelings inside you and you're not sure how to deal with them, but it's okay to talk about it—you kinda want to hump Zack Greinke, don't you?...
Now, Is This Better Or Worse Than "Horry Kow?"
This shirt, worn at Busch Stadium by one cuddly Cardinal fan, was shown off proudly without security hassles. At least the fan with the "Cubs Suck" shirt was forced to turn his inside out. [JSF]...
Joba Chamberlain's Mother Still Has Some Problems
The mother of the Yankees' hurler was arrested for dealing meth to an undercover officer. This is written by the same newspaper that did the long-ish profile on her last fall. [Lincoln Star Journal]...
Trevor Hoffman's Music Scares The Crap Out Of Ken Macha
The Brewers manager says he hides in the bathroom when his closer enters the game, because Hoffman's entrance music is just too darn loud. Or maybe it's the new Japanese seat warmers? [ESPN; game notes]...
Warm Your Butt In The Dice-K Memorial Bathrooms
The Boston Red Sox paid the Seibu Lions $51.1 million for the right to take Daisuke Matsuzaka off their hands. So what did they do with the money? New toilet seats for everyone!...
The Time Is Right For America's Baddest Horse Trainer
Ok, this has been bugging me since Saturday, so I have to ask—was trainer Bennie Woolley Jr. carrying a gun at the Kentucky Derby? (Probably not—but wouldn't it have been great if he had been?)...