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Previewing the Running of the Horses
The Preakness Stakes is finally upon us and Maryland students couldn't be more eager to get fucked up in celebration (it's not a real party without Scott Van Pelt). Since I know incredibly little about horse racing, I've turned to Randy, a lover of both equines and Deadspin. His words are after the ...
Perhaps Simmons Should Write A Newspaper Column
• Tony K kisses newspapers goodbye. • Utah fans are scary. • Dee Mirich returns! • Reggie MIller, drinkin' • Hirshey nailed the end of the EPL season. • Barkley and Vegas, two great tastes that taste great together. • Sit a few plays out, big guy. • Thank you, Milwaukee! • When Charles Haley attacks...
Worry Is Like Interest Paid In Advance On A Debt That Never Comes Due
Nobody looks at a Japanese tourist....
The Problem With The Padres? Tight Booties
What's wrong with the Padres? With Thursday's 4-0 loss to the Cubs, our Closest Team to Mexico is at 15-27, the worst record in the majors ... that's more horrible than Detroit, folks. The big reason seems to be the strikeouts-per-at-bats ratio, or as scientists call it, tight booties. Just listen ...
Norman Chad's Not Shedding Any Tears Over Kornheiser's Departure
It's been no secret that Washington Post columnist/ poker rim-shot clown Norman Chad and Tony Kornheiser have a strained relationship. Apparently, this stems back to the WaPo days of yore when a young Chad was mentored by a less bald Kornheiser who took him under his combover'd-wing. Through that ...
Barkley's Gambling Dumb-Assery May Have Finally Caught Up To Him
Charles Barkley's love of gambling has reached a breaking point for one Las Vegas casino, which is now suing him for $400,000 in unpaid debts....
About Last Night
What you missed while trying to figure out exactly what this guy did wrong ... • NBA: Jameer Nelson's prediction comes true; except for the part about the Magic winning. Detroit advances to sixth consecutive Eastern Conference Finals. • NHL: Penguins win 4-1 to set up dramatic four-game playoff come...
Examining The Procreation Habits Of The Modern Day Athlete For Fun
You've probably asked yourself a million times, "I wish there was a blog out there that would let me know how how Shawn Kemp Jr. Jr. Jr.'s doing or give me updates on Darren McFadden's paternity suit situation."...
An Indian Offensive 'SPLOSION!
The Cavs victory wasn't the only thing Mistake by the Lakers celebrated yesterday while eagerly awaiting their next 23-cent pizza day. Grady Sizemore homered twice and drove in five runs to propel the Tribe to a 12-0 throttling of the Blue Jays. It's enough to get Indians fans off their ice cream he...
The Flyers Are Not Fond Of Game 1s
Sure, the Flyers eventually knuckled under to the Penguins' explosive attack after getting up early, but they're clearly just setting up the Pens like they did to the Caps and the Habs. Philly has lost the opener in each of its three series this postseason. The Pens have even gone as far as to crib ...
Ozzie Guillen And His Inflatable Fans
• Inflatable groupies. • A-Rod, cool under pressure. Totally. • Flomax! • Tim Tebow, a cut above. • A kid that is now somewhat less smelly. • The horse revolution. • Mindy McCready, not selling albums. • Look what two motorcycle crashes can produce. • Jamie Moyer has a friend in baseball schedules. ...
Snakes. Why'd It Have To Be Snakes?
You Americans, you're all the same. Always overdressing for the wrong occasions....
Tom Brady Has A Wonder Woman Fetish
So Tom Brady wants his girlfriend to dress up as Wonder Woman? Who doesn't? Just be thankful he didn't say Aqua Boy. According to a gossip column in the Boston Globe, Gisele Bundchen revealed that Brady has a bit of a Wonder Woman fixation. Translation: If someone is thinking of making a Wonder Woma...
Revisiting The Worst Golf Round Of All Time
On ESPN.com yesterday, you might have read Jason Sobel's gory tale of the man man who shot a 66 on one nightmarish golf hole. (The 17th at TPC Sawgrass, if you're into that type of thing.) It's a terrifying tale, no less scary that we don't play golf. But then we recognized the last name of the gol...
Previewing The Flyers-Penguins
The Deadspin NHL Playoff Previews are brought to you the five wealthiest people in the world known as the MYFO Pentaverate. They blog from a secret country mansion known as the Meadows. Beware their wee beady eyes and those smug looks on their faces. Today, Hextall454 breaks down the Eastern Confer...
THE CHRIS FARLEY SHOW by Tom Farley, Jr., and Tanner Colby
Come and read the raucous, heartfelt, and heartbreaking story of a man who lived to make us laugh, and died trying—featuring over 100 new interviews with David Spade, Chris Rock, Lorne Michaels, Alec Baldwin, and many more. CHECK OUT AN EXCERPT AND ENTER TO WIN A COPY OF THE BOOK....
Media Approval Ratings: John Madden
Hey, when's a better time to take a look at John Madden in these rankings than the beginning of May? We can't think of a more apt moment in time....
Half The Contract's Gonna Go To Fill That Tank, Buddy
You almost had to feel bad for Hillary Clinton yesterday, still railing about gas tax holidays and superdelegates and all her white voters while the rest of the world was mercifully moving on. But that gas thing is still a problem, which you might have noticed when half your neighborhood was carpoo...
Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?
Remember when Dywane Wade was everybody's favorite athlete? Humble, freakishly talented, good to his family, an All-American guy. So ... what happened?...
Rocky Statue: Target Of Penguin Terrorist Plot?
You may remember just a week ago that during the Montreal Canadiens/Flyers playoff series, some amped-up Habs fans decided desecration of the Rocky statue would be a good way to show team spirit and ward off an inevitable early round exit. Didn't work....