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America's Dumbest Student-Athlete Nominee: Eric, University of Wisconsin-Parkside
From a reader named Mark: This is an essay from a former University of Wisconsin-Parkside wrestler for an intro to writing class....

Cockblocked by Nick Swisher! GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase a few heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Breaking: Man Customizes Replica Jersey To Make Lewd Joke
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

America's Dumbest Student-Athlete Nominee: Steve Blake, University Of Maryland
This essay titled "Happy days at Johnny's" was submitted multiple times by Duke fans who claim this ridiculous ode to Johnny Rockets burger joint was penned by former Maryland guard Steve Blake. Embrace the happiness....

How To Protect Yourself From Excessive Rimjobbing
No time to waste. We again go right to your letters:...

Read This Now: The True Story Of The <em>Price Is Right</em> Perfect Bid Scandal
Chris Jones, he of that other really good Roger Ebert piece, has a story in the recent Esquire about the time card-counter Terry Kniess guesstimated a perfect bid and pissed off Drew Carey in the process. [Esquire]...

Brett Favre's Daughter Is Not Amused By The ESPYs
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Deadspin Classic: ESPN Will Never, Ever Do This Again
In 1998, Norm Macdonald hosted the ESPYs and did just about everything short of setting the room on fire. It was the last time ESPN even got close to being dangerous, and it was the last time the ESPYs were worth watching....

America's Dumbest Student-Athlete Nominee: Jordan Vandenberg, North Carolina State
From a reader: This was written by a basketball student in my freshman business class at North Carolina State University. The assignment was to write about two events that we were required to attend to meet a global learning requirement....

World's Largest-Breasted Woman's Breasts Trying To Kill Her
After more than 30 surgeries, Texan Sheyla Hershey's M-cup bosom finally had enough. Her latest procedure gave her a staph infection, and doctors have removed her implants to try and save her life. Godspeed, Sheyla.[MyFoxHouston]...

Would You Like To Have Hot Sex With Strangers You Meet On Facebook?
Then you should join the Deadspin Facebook page, which is quickly turning into the world's premiere online orgy. Look at that — more than 7,000 hot and horny people just waiting to Like your stuff. You know you want in....

Keep Your Steinbrenner Hagiographies Off Jimmy Breslin's Lawn
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

America's Dumbest Student-Athlete Nominee: Villanova (UPDATE)
"This was a webpage one of our basketball players had to make for a computer science course. Not an essay exactly, but definitely an excellent depiction of our student-athlete intelligence level." (Other students claim this is a fake, btw.)...

How To Perfect Your Imaginary Serial Killer Technique
Your letters:...

The Search For America's Dumbest Student-Athlete Starts Now
We all know that many of today's student-athletes at universities across the country do very little work inside the classroom. This series will showcase how ridiculously bare the bare minimum can be....

Last Night's Winner: People With Functioning Mute Buttons
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Home Run Derby viewers who mercifully put Chris Berman on mute and didn't hear him say "backbackback" all night. For you, we've made this little video....

If Anyone Went To DePaul University, Please Contact The I-Team
Or, me, rather: [email protected]. Your insights will be confidential. Current students are also welcome. As you were......

Andy Richter Keeps An Eye On Jennie Finch's Backstop
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Your Final Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup
It's been a wild ride this past month, hasn't it? Let's take one last look at the goals from the third-place and final games of the World Cup with some assistance from music that isn't even close to being culturally sensitive....

Intern Horrors: Sexual Harassment Edition
Welcome to Intern Horrors, the weekly feature wherein hard-working kids with good heads on their shoulders try to get a leg up in the working world, and bosses complain about the sadsacks wasting everyone's time for four credit hours at State U....