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Week In Deadspin: Contracting The Bensons
• Officer Selig Fife is finally on the case. • "Bristol Is Big Ten Country" • George Mason Fever is a contagious condition, and if you don't stop scratching, it'll never go away. • Way too much information from Roger Clemens and Peter King. • The Duke lacrosse team story went from horrifying to "h...

Don't Call Us Stupid
Our sponsors think the Gettsyburg Address is where Lincoln lived....

Week In Deadspin: They Got The Blues, So Bad
• We weep for the little people, we weep for injustice, we weep for lost souls ... oh, how we weep! • Run, run, for the hills! Save yourself! The blogs, they are a-comin'! • Ozzie Guillen will hit you with a chair. • Colin Cowherd is a goddamned pirate! Yar! • Sorry, but murdering the Applebee's g...

We Know. And Such Small Portions.
Hey, sponsors: Don't you see the rest of the country looks upon New York like we're left-wing, communist, Jewish, homosexual pornographers? We think of us that way sometimes and we live here....

Week In Deadspin: Stimulation Overload
We were kind of into the NCAA tournament around here this week. And as you can tell from this picture, so was Northwestern State. (Though, uh, watch that hand, buddy.)...

Week In Deadspin: Just 48 Hours From Selection Sunday
• We went to go see John Rocker, and he, of course, struck us out. • Sam Walker is a bigger fantasy baseball dork than you are. • So, Barry, how was your week? • We said goodbye to Kirby Puckett. • You can't count on watching all those tourney games online. • We still can't believe Don Nelson was ...

Deadspin Tourney Sign Up Sheet
Teams OFFICIALLY in the tournament are in bold. Teams listed not in bold are considered "close to lock" status. Any team without a name next to it is available. Teams will obviously be added as they become locks and/or win their conference tournaments. If you want to write a school's Three Tiny Tidb...

The Sponsors Abide
Nihilists! Sponsors! Fuck me. We mean, say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos. Let us tell you something, pendejo. You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, we'll take it away from you, stick it up your ass and pull t...

Uh, Today Obviously Kind Of Sucks
Obviously, our massive tech issues from yesterday have been anything but resolved; in fact, they're decidedly worse today. We're told this is happening to all the Gawker Media sites, so we're not alone in theis wilderness....

Excuse Our Virtual Dust
We're sorry about all the problems everyone is having getting into the site today, by the way. We've noticed, and we apologize. We're told it has something to do with "servers" and "FTPs" and all kinds of other terms we do not understand....

Who's Got Bracket Fever?
We're just five days away from Selection Sunday — which, in combination with the season premiere of "The Sopranos," is pretty much more fun than any day should be allowed to be — and we're still working on our big NCAA Tournament Project. (All teams remain signed up for. Honestly, you guys rule.)...

Week In Deadspin: Talkin' 'Bout B-B-B-B-B-Basketball
• Man, can they ever lay down a dope beat in Kentucky. • If all soccer referees were like this, we'd watch games all the time. • Boobs! • We're previewing the crap out of the baseball season. • You don't have to be born to have Roger Clemens throw at you. • The NCAA's mascot is destroying everythi...

We Are Invading Boston. Tonight. Beware.
For those in the Boston/Cambridge area who find themselves without proper nighttime entertainment this evening, we would like to cordially invite you to come hang out. We are reading from our novel Catch tonight at the Dire Reading Series in Cambridge. Yes, we know it's an art gallery. But they stil...

Hello, Advertisers!
As you can see, the sponsors all go to 11. Right across the board. 11. 11. 11. 11. They're one louder, aren't they? Most sponsors are gonna be playing at 10. You're on 10 here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up. You're on 10 with your sponsors. Where can you go from there? Where? Nowher...

OK, You Guys Freaking Rule
We are less than 24 hours into our big NCAA Tournament Preview Project, and hoo boy, have you guys come through so far. We're projecting — by "we," we mean Joe Lunardi, pretty much — 35 teams into the tournament so far ... and all 35 have been signed up for. We encourage you to check out the whole...

Help Us Do The Best NCAA Preview Of All Time
Well, kids, Championship Week starts tonight, and you know what that means: The NCAA Tournament is tantalizingly close. We were trying to think of ways we could do the tournament justice, Deadspin-style, and we realized what makes this site fun is not us, but you. Who better to write about individ...

Teach A Man To Fish... And He Will Bore Others On ESPN All Day Long
The "Super Bowl of Fishing" has put another day in the books, cutting the field down to 25 for tomorow's finale. For those of you who joined the Deadspin Bass Fishing Fantasy League, know that Luke Clausen is still in the lead with 44 total pounds of fishies. Terry Scroggins had the biggest haul o...

Week In Deadspin: What We Missed While Floating Around
It might seem strange for us to try to recap a week in which we watched absolute no sports whatsoever, but we're gonna give it a try anyway....

Get Them To Sign On The Line That Is Dotted
These are the new sponsors. These are the Glengarry sponsors. To you, these are gold; you do not get these. Because to give them to you would be throwing them away....