ap Page 1398 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Here Comes The End Of Ryan Howard
To be fair, there isn’t really much left of Ryan Howard for us to lose. The guy who once socked 58 dingers in a single season and swung his bat like it was a piece of artillery has been gone for a while now. What’s remained is a husk earning $25 million to strike out a lot. Now, that poor sap is bei...
The Hater’s Guide To The 2016 NBA Finals
A few years ago, when my children were very small, I lamented the fact that I had to cut a great deal of sports out of my life. This happens when you have a baby. There’s no time to watch a tetrafinal playoff game because the kid needs to be fed or taken for a stroll or put to bed or have its butt w...
Baylor's Ken Starr Is Full Of Shit
This is the power that comes with not releasing the facts: in an information vacuum, everyone gets to make up their own narrative. On Thursday, it was Baylor’s Board of Regents offering empty talking points, saying they were sorry without admitting to any details of what specifically they were sorry...
Joey Votto Sucks Right Now And The Reds Will Have To Pay Him Forever
The Cincinnati Reds have been complete dogshit this season, but the most concerning decline has been their first baseman. Joey Votto’s power is missing in 2016. His hitting is, too....
Consider Using A Bidet
Toilet paper—as a relatively modern American institution, and as a personal means of tidying up in the bathroom—does not hold up under scrutiny....
Mets Fan Beats Chris Sale In Rock-Paper-Scissors, Wins Autograph
Chris Sale didn’t pitch today against the Mets, but he did have time for a little pregame rock-paper-scissors with an autograph-seeking Mets fan. My man lost, like the White Sox have in his last two starts, and he graciously signed the autograph....
Report: Two More Baylor Football Staffers Fired
Two more members of Baylor’s athletics department have been fired, USA Today reports tonight, citing an anonymous source. They are Colin Shillinglaw, the athletics director for football operations, and longtime athletics staffer Tom Hill. Both were fired last week. ...
Report: David Blatt Agrees To New Deal With Obscurity
David Blatt has reportedly taken a job with Turkish basketball club Darüşşafaka Doğuş, which has to be the steepest career drop ever for a coach who was in the NBA Finals one year ago....
Guy Who Promised To Eat His Shirt If The Warriors Won Eats His Shirt
Reddit user PARTYxDIRTYDAN was feeling pretty confident about the Oklahoma City Thunder’s chances against the Golden State Warriors. Even after the Warriors came storming back to win Game 6 on Saturday night, our man was feeling strong enough to promise that he’d eat his shirt if the Warriors went o...
Steph Curry Remembered Who He Is, And That Was That
The Western Conference finals generated a lot of conversation about tactics and matchups. Lineups were scrutinized, the length and athleticism of the Thunder were deemed A Problem for the Warriors, and everyone wondered how Steph Curry was supposed to regain his balance amid all those long arms and ...
That's A Spicy Meatball
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Report: Mexican Striker Alan Pulido Escapes From Kidnappers, Shot One Of Them
Alan Pulido escaped from his captors by shooting one of them, reports Proceso, bringing an end to the kidnapping that began when armed men took the Mexican striker from outside a restaurant in his hometown of Ciudad Victoria on Saturday night....
Let's Appreciate The Cruel Efficiency Of Klay Thompson's Game 6 Three-Point Orgy
Presumably a couple of goatherds in the Eurasian Steppe and perhaps deep-water oil platform welders in the North Sea are still unaware, so let’s start with the obvious: Klay Thompson had himself a night Saturday. The other Golden State guard took over the elimination Game 6 for the Warriors to such ...
Reports: Mexican Striker Alan Pulido Kidnapped
Mexican media sources are reporting Alan Pulido is missing after reportedly being taken by armed kidnappers outside a restaurant in his hometown of Ciudad Victoria, where the Olympiakos striker had returned following the end of the Greek league season....
The Golden State Warriors Will Win The NBA Finals
Draymond Green is bad. Steph Curry is Chucky Atkins. No matter. Klay Thompson is a blank-eyed three-shooting robot from space and no one will ever stop the Warriors. I’ll die before they lose again. Burn in hell, Oklahoma City Thunder....
The Cavaliers Are Back In The Finals
Cleveland beat Toronto 113-87 tonight. James Jones will make his sixth straight Finals, a momentous achievement. Good for him. ...
The Cardinals Lost Their 24th Game
Bryce Harper and Danny Espinosa each socked home runs Thursday night as the Washington Nationals beat the St. Louis Cardinals, 2-1....
Russell Westbrook Tells Us How He Really Feels About Steph Curry's Defense
After last night’s loss to the Golden State Warriors, Russell Westbrook and Kevin Durant were asked if they think Steph Curry is an underrated defender. Westbrook reacted like he’d just been asked if he likes to shop at T.J. Maxx....
The Warriors Aren't Dead Yet
It was simple enough to write the Warriors off when they were down 3-1, on the brink of elimination (only nine teams have ever come back from such a deficit), but they are not dead yet. The Thunder effectively blitzed them into submission in both games in Oklahoma City, and while Russell Westbrook a...