ap Page 1633 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Marlins' Megadeal Could Be Good For Miami If Jeffrey Loria Didn't Exist
It took almost a week, but everyone's taken their physicals and the commissioner's office has signed off on the crazypants deal. Deep breath: The Marlins will receive Henderson Alvarez, Yunel Escobar, Adeiny Hechavarria, Jeff Mathis, Jake Marisnick, Anthony DeSclafani, and Justin Nicolino. The Blue ...

Maryland And Rutgers Are Joining The Big Ten Because They Have To
As expected, the Big Ten will now be 14. Maryland and Rutgers have let it be known they plan to abandon the ACC and the Big East, respectively, beginning in 2014. The motivation for all involved is plain: The Big Ten gets more of an East Coast footprint, and one that kinda-sorta touches the D.C. and...

Calculators, George W. Bush Ties: Why You Shouldn't Leave Your Christmas Wish List In The Office's Shared Folder
Time for another edition of Christmas shaming, in which we examine the wish lists of your friends, loved ones, and co-workers. It's a look into the strange wants and materialistic hearts of those who dwell among us. So keep sending them in. Anonymity guaranteed....

We've Probably Seen The Last Of Brandon Roy
After playing just five games in his comeback season with the Minnesota Timberwolves, Brandon Roy is scheduled to have yet another knee surgery. The seventh of his career. The Oregonian is reporting that Roy is scheduled to have arthroscopic surgery on his right knee later this week....

LeSean McCoy Gets Concussed, And It's All Andy Reid's Fault
If Andy Reid's out, he's taking as many players as he can with him. That's the only possible explanation for leaving his starters in until the very end of a blowout loss at Washington, a strategy that paid off with LeSean McCoy receiving a concussion at a time when he should have been on the bench, ...

This Rob Gronkowski "Cha Cha Bitches" Sign Is The Rob Gronkowski Of Signs
While Rob "Yo soy fiesta" Gronkowsi has his share of fans, his Sunday didn't end well as the Patriots tight end suffered a broken arm in garbage time that will sideline him for weeks. We can only imagine how distraught this news made the young woman seen here with a creative sign, or Gronk's army/h...
![Cam Newton Gives A Small Child A Football And An Epileptic Fit: Your Sunday NFL GIF Roundup [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/185q6rut9ybl9gif.gif)
Cam Newton Gives A Small Child A Football And An Epileptic Fit: Your Sunday NFL GIF Roundup [Update]
We'll be putting all our GIFs for the day here, from the happiest person you'll ever see on the receiving end of a ball from Cam Newton, to the Cowboys onside kicking in the third quarter, and failing. We'll update the post as the later games conclude, so stay tuned....

Losses By Oregon, Kansas State Ensure All-SEC Title Game
Welp, it happened. Kansas State, once thought unbeatable†, loosed the SI-cover-jinx-aided mother of all bedshits Saturday. Call it the revenge of the Southwest* Conference: Texas A&M downs the No. 1 Crimson Tide last week, Baylor (editor's note: LOL) conks the Wildcats this week. This is agonizingly...

The University Of Maryland's Twitter Account Was Hacked, Kept It Pretty Real For About Twenty Minutes
Along with Rutgers, the University of Maryland looks likely to flee its current conference for the Big Ten, and some people—notably, the person who hacked Maryland's official Twitter account tonight—are pretty happy about it. At first it seems conceivable that the person who manages UM's social med...

Reports: The Big Ten Wants Maryland And Rutgers
Pat Forde and ESPN are reporting that serious talks are afoot to fold Maryland and Rutgers into the Big Ten. Not only would that create a 14-member conference that'd surely be the biggest Ten in the world, it would reopen the scabby wound of major conference realignment. The ACC, the Terps' current ...

This Week's Signs Of The Apocalypse
For nearly two decades, Sports Illustrated has stirred the tea leaves to discern a weekly Sign of the Apocalypse. Deadspin salutes the magazine's ongoing effort to cover the end of times but declines to cede the scoop on the biggest event in world history....


Photoshop Contest: Put Bud Selig's Blond Hair On Things
Selig stunned us with his glorious new mane at the owners meetings. It's almost unfair to keep it to himself. So please help us put Bud Selig's hair on other things: people, animals, amorphous concepts, Jeffrey Loria, whatever....

The <em>B.S. Report</em> Report: Back To Basketball
Julia Alvidrez, Gawker Media's operations manager, is an unabashed fan of Bill Simmons and everything Grantland. She is also an occasional reader of Deadspin. Every week, she will recap Simmons's podcast, The B.S. Report, for us....

"Driver's License Belonging to David Petraeus's Lover Found By”: A Brief Index Of Recent Notable Events Involving Joggers
An occasional miscellany (with a head nod toward this great old post on Runner's World's website)....

OK, What The Hell Is Up With Bud Selig's Hair?
Well hello there, who is that sexy septuagenarian—why, it's the commissioner of baseball, Allan H. "Bud" Selig!...

Which TV Market Is Getting Screwed This Sunday? An Analysis Of Week 11 NFL Viewing Maps
The NFL's regional programming rules are famously byzantine, but luckily the506.com cuts through the bullshit for you, providing weekly maps that allow us to answer the only question that really matters: Which fans are the most screwed this Sunday?...

Which NFL Pundits Have Made The Worst Predictions So Far This Year? Grading ESPN, CBS, And Yahoo
Republished with permission from PunditTracker.com....

Mitch Albom Is The Meat In Baseball's Dumbfuck Stew
I'm gonna preface all this by telling you that I don't really watch baseball, nor do I particularly care who won the AL MVP award. But the beauty of reading a terrible Mitch Albom column is that you don't HAVE to know much about anything, because Mitch will always deliberately know less than you. Mi...

Anonymous Jets Source Believes Anonymous Jets Sources Were Made Up
This year's edition of the Jets' public meltdown began in earnest this week as the Daily News ran a series of anonymous quotes from the locker room blasting Tim Tebow's gimmickry and poor quarterbacking. (You could just have easily framed the same quotes as a positive story, about how the locker roo...