ap Page 1682 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Man Busted By Reporter For Parking Illegally: "Fuck You. I Hope You Get AIDS."
It's local news sweeps time again, which means reporters are on the prowl with their I-Teams to trump up whatever tired outrage hasn't been covered recently. Fecal matter in iced tea? Eyewitness News is on your side! Cops eating doughnuts and drinking coffee on the job? The I-Team is there!...

Jonathan Papelbon Is Now Referring To Himself In The Third Person As "Cinco"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: That's short of Cinco Ocho, of course....

Newspaper's HS Softball Season Wrap-Up Includes No Stats, "Due To The Coach's Bullshit And Laziness."
So this is one of those Twitter things, without much backstory. (We saw it here first.) But the team in question is the Rayne (Louisiana) High Lady Wolves, the coach is Deserea Dunn, and the paper is, we think, the Rayne Independent. The Lady Wolves crashed out of the district playoffs last month, s...

Former ECU Running Back Arrested After Driving Through A Cemetery
ECU's Brandon Jackson was kicked off the team in 2010 after an arrest for public intoxication and resisting arrest—his third arrest in two seasons. He's found trouble again, being charged for a hit-and-run incident two weeks ago in which he allegedly drove his Lexus through a cemetery, knocking over...

Eric Hassli's Stoppage Time Volley Proved The Existence Of A Canadian Rocket Program
While the Voyageurs Cup may be one of soccer's less-prestigious trophies, claiming it in the Canadian Championship does have its rewards: specifically, an invite to the CONCACAF Champions League. Last night's first leg between Whitecaps and Toronto FC in Vancouver looked like an upset 1-0 win by t...

Yes, Chicago's ABC Affiliate Identified Metta World Peace As "Lakers Idiot"
Last night the internets buzzed about the veracity of a photo showing the lower third graphic from a TV newscast identifying Lakers ne'er-do-well Metta World Peace as "Lakers Idiot." Our pals over at Busted Coverage asked this morning if it was real, and as the video above will show you, it is in...

TNT Should Not Have Allowed This Morbidly Obese Sixers Fan To Participate In The Shirt-Off
The Utah State Aggies have a superfan named Wild Bill who distracts free throw shooters by wearing bizarre, Disney-inspired outfits that often reveal his generous girth....
![Rays Infielder Will Rhymes Passed Out After Being Hit By A Pitch Tonight [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Rays Infielder Will Rhymes Passed Out After Being Hit By A Pitch Tonight [UPDATE]
A horrifying scene unfolded at Tropicana Field in the bottom of the eighth inning of tonight's Rays-Red Sox game as Tampa Bay infielder Will Rhymes collapsed on the field after being hit on the arm by a pitch from Boston's Franklin Morales....

Craig James Didn't Hire A PR Firm During The Mike Leach Controversy, Says Craig James, Who Hired A PR Firm During The Mike Leach Controversy
Chuck Todd of MSNBC had Craig James on today, and he happened to catch the gay-baitin', 2 percent-pollin', infomercial-makin' U.S. Senate candidate from Texas in a lie about Mike Leach, which is lots of fun. Here's the Dallas Morning News to explain:...

The Angels Are Getting Desperate
Seven games out of first. No one's hitting. (Hitting coach Mickey Hatcher got the ax today.) Nothing seems to be working. So Fox Sports West, despite a win yesterday, made a plea via on-screen graphic. Somebody do something. Anything. Call up Minor League Guy. [via @nocoastoffense]...

What Dock Ellis Taught Me About Drugs, Spitballs, Hair Curlers, Office Culture, Race, And America
Be sure to watch the accompanying animated short, "Superfly Spitball."...

Skechers Will Pay $40M To Settle A Lawsuit About Its Goofy-Looking Shoes That Were Supposed To Help People Lose Weight
Look at that ugly, ugly shoe. It's a white Skechers Shape-Up. Scocca wrote in February that Nike's Galaxy Foamposites were the ugliest shoes ever, but we'll have to disagree on this one. These shoes grace an aesthetic level that Phil Knight can only dream about....

Shaq beat Chuck In TNT's <em>Inside The NBA</em> Shirt-Off Thanks To Fake, Painted-On Abs
The Inside The NBA "Shirt-Off" that brought us this priceless moment of Charles Barkley handling a Shake Weight came to its conclusion last night, with Chuck and Shaq disrobing to show off their unique physiques. While Sir Charles's suspiciously pube-like chest hair was horrifying enough, it wasn't...

Win This Auction And Brett Favre Will Play Ball With Your Young Child (Shipping And Handling Not Included)
The fine folks at Charitybuzz are auctioning off a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to have former NFL quarterback and Hattiesburg townie Brett Favre throw the ol' pigskin around with your kid for an indeterminate amount of time. Sounds like a great deal? Sure! That is, until you get to the fine print...

Somehow, All But Two Jurors At The Roger Clemens Perjury Trial Have Stayed Awake
This is all you need to know about Roger Clemens's ongoing perjury trial: A second juror was dismissed today for falling asleep—and "one of [the sleepers] predicted that he would," according to ESPN's T.J. Quinn. [ESPN; photo via AP]...

Rick Reilly's Auto-Response To Reader Email Is More Clever Than Rick Reilly's Actual Column
Ever email your constructive criticism to a sportswriter, only to receive a crappy, needlessly hostile response? Forward the emails to us at [email protected], subject: Crap Emails....

Carlos Lee Couldn't Get To The Ball, So He Tackled An Umpire Instead
Charlie Manuel's profane stare-down with Bob Davidson wasn't the only hilarity involving an umpire during today's Astros-Phillies matinee. Way back in the bottom of the first, Jimmy Rollins led off by bouncing a ball down the line, where it rolled just beyond the reach of Carlos Lee, whose next move...

Bob Davidson's Ejection Of Charlie Manuel Today Featured More F-Bombs Than A Tarantino Film
Umpire Bob Davidson added insult to injury for the Phillies today when, after obstructing catcher Brian Schneider's attempts to retrieve a dropped third strike from hurler Cliff Lee, he ejected Philadelphia manager Charlie Manuel—leading to a fierce, "fuck"-filled argument in the eighth inning of t...

Better Know An Umpire: Alfonso Marquez
Welcome to Better Know An Umpire, an effort to educate ourselves on the human elements who have ultimate decision-making power over some 2,500 Major League Baseball games a year. (All cumulative statistics are through the 2011 season, unless otherwise stated.)...

This Photo Of Troy Tulowitzki And The Rockies' Trainer Is Not What It Looks Like
In the eighth inning last night, Rockies shortstop Troy Tulowitzki was standing on the top step of the dugout when he took a foul ball from Dexter Fowler off his left leg. Tulowitzki told the Denver Post the leg went numb and that he thought it might have been broken, but X-rays were negative. Tulow...