ap Page 1689 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Jessica Dorrell Has Resigned, Will Receive $14K From University
Jessica Dorrell, the motorcycle seatmate and texting buddy of former Arkansas football coach Bobby Petrino, has resigned her position as the team's student-athlete development coordinator. Dorrell was hired over by Petrino over 158 other applicants at an annual salary of nearly $59,000. University ...

Clemens Lawyers, Prosecutors Caught Discussing Trial Strategy Over Hot Mic
Jury selection began this week in the second perjury trial of Roger Clemens, and journalists were given an unexpected glimpse into what they might expect once jury selection is over....

Better Know An Umpire: Jerry Layne
Welcome to Better Know An Umpire, an effort to educate ourselves on the human elements who have ultimate decision-making power over some 2,500 Major League Baseball games a year. (All cumulative stats are through the 2011 season, unless otherwise stated.)...

Was Bob Huggins Drunk At A Coaching Clinic The Other Day?
A number of current and former college basketball coaches—Billy Donovan, Roy Williams, Bob Knight, Jamie Dixon, among others—gave presentations at a Nike clinic over the weekend at Robert Morris University in suburban Pittsburgh. But according to an eyewitness, West Virginia's Bob Huggins is the onl...

Karl Alzner Calls Milan Lucic A Crybaby. Lucic's Teammate Says He Was "An Angry Baby."
Milan Lucic hasn't made much of an impact on the scoresheet, but he's been in the middle of every physical altercation in a physical series in a physical playoffs overall. Lucic picked up three roughing penalties on the night in a 4-3 Bruins win, and on the last ended up in a Karl Alzner headlock....
![Todd Bertuzzi, Ping Pong Enforcer [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17jvco9lcokgfjpg.jpg)
Todd Bertuzzi, Ping Pong Enforcer [UPDATE]
The feud between the Red Wings and Predators that began when Shea Weber smacked Henrik Zetterberg's head off the turnbuckle glass at the end of Game 1 has extended all the way to table tennis. At Joe Louis Arena, there's a ping pong table in the hallway between the home and visitors locker rooms. An...

Here's The Only Woman In New York Unimpressed By Derek Jeter
The Yankees fell to .500 on the season with a 7-3 home loss to Minnesota last night, though Derek Jeter continued his hot hitting with two knocks—including a leadoff homer in the bottom of the first. All that, though, wasn't enough to impress this lass in the Legend Seats....

Alison Melder, Through Lawyer, Denies Affair With Bobby Petrino
Alison Melder, the Arkansas Young Republican and former model who spent at least two months heavily corresponding with Bobby Petrino, has gone underground since we identified her from Petrino's phone records last week. She's emerged, and she's got representation. An email from Jeff Hagood, of Hagood...

There Was A Clown In Courtside Seats At MSG Yesterday, And For Once It Wasn't Donald Trump
Despite another strong game from Carmelo Anthony, the New York Knicks dropped their third straight this season to the Heat yesterday 93-85, a result we're sure put a sad face on all Knicks fans in attendance—at least those who didn't, you know, show up with a face already painted on....

Bearded Batman Drinks Heineken, Probably Does Not Fight Crime
So Batman's a hockey fan, and definitely not the Lamborghini Batman or the Michigan Batman, at least today. But lest you forget, you better believe he's The Goddamn Batman....

The NHL Had A Good Day Yesterday
The Stanley Cup Playoffs, like the NBA playoffs, drag on for what feels like an eternity-spanning April, May and June. If every day shakes out the way yesterday did, however, then it might be worth it. Four games were played and three went to overtime. Four series had the chance to go 2-0 and all f...

Warren Sapp Claims He Filed For Bankruptcy To Avoid Going To Jail
According to Sapp, all his financial troubles are thanks to that eternal temptress, the can't-miss real estate deal. Sapp spoke to the Tampa Bay Times and elaborated on how a man who made around $60 million over his career was reducing to cataloging his sneaker and naked lady painting collections i...

This Resizing Of The Batter's Box Sponsored By <em>The Three Stooges</em>
Yesterday's White Sox home opener against the Tigers was delayed when Detroit slugger Miguel Cabrera noticed the batter's boxes weren't in the right place, leading to the above display of buffoonery. Cabrera's at-bat (which came after consecutive Jake Peaky strikeouts) was pushed back nearly nine m...

Josh Thole Fell For The Old "Tell The Runner It Was A Foul Ball" Trick
The hidden-ball trick is old news, as the Philadelphia Phillies utilized social engineering to fool Josh Thole into an out during the second inning of tonight's Mets-Phils matchup in Philadelphia....

Let's Watch David West Send The Cavs' Mascot To The Hospital By Punching The Shit Out Of Him
We told you yesterday morning about what happened to poor Moondog, the Cleveland Cavaliers' mascot who had to go the hospital the night before after being punched in the eye by the Pacers' David West. A different video, shot from a distance, has been making its way around the Internet since then, ...

You Can't Stop Kevin Durant, But You Can Force Him To His Right
Durant is known for being able to go left or right, and finish with either hand. The data shows that to be true from near the basket and from midrange. But if you can keep KD on the perimeter, he's significantly more likely to beat you from the left....

This Texas Rangers Fan Can Do Amazing Things With Her Mouth
And yet this is still only the second-weirdest face ever to appear in the background behind erstwhile sideline reporter Jim Knox. (This would be the weirdest.)...

Baseball's Unwritten Rules, Uncovered After 26 Years
A few weeks ago, I found myself in Austin and happened upon one of these flea market-type warehouses. It's like a ginormous, impersonal yard sale: People come with their stuff, set it up in their little station, put a price tag on everything, and hope it eventually sells. As it turns out, one of the...

Here's Something Nice About Bobby Petrino That We Learned From His Phone Records
It's not all fast bikes and fast women. A close reading of Bobby Petrino's cell phone logs reveals this: Bobby has a heart....

Better Know An Umpire: Marty Foster
Welcome to Better Know An Umpire, an effort to educate ourselves on the human elements who have ultimate decision-making power over some 2,500 Major League Baseball games a year....