ap Page 1709 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Joe Paterno's Coaching Career Is Over
Per Jim Gardner of 6ABC in Philly, the Penn State Board of Trustees has voted to remove Joe Paterno immediately. Longtime assistant coach Tom Bradley will take over as Paterno's interim replacement. A press conference is scheduled to begin any minute. We will update accordingly. [@Jim_Gardner]...

Nationals Catcher Wilson Ramos Has Reportedly Been Kidnapped In Venezuela
Kevin Goldstein of Baseball Prospectus tweeted this story from a Venezulean news outlet, which I ran through Google Translate and got the following:...

Les Miles Is A Good Dad Because LSU Is Undefeated
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

Paper Illustrates Joe Frazier Tribute With Massive Photo Of George Foreman
The South China Morning Post, Hong Kong's largest English-language newspaper, wasn't able to run its Joe Frazier tribute until today. All that lead-up wasn't enough time for someone who knows what Joe Frazier looks like to proof the pages....

Does The NFL Want To Be Ali-Frazier?
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

The East Carolina University Student Paper Is Not Afraid To Show Cock-And-Balls On The Front Page (NSFW)
At halftime of the East Carolina University-Southern Miss football game on Saturday, John Sieglinger of Raleigh bravely stormed the field wearing nothing but his manhood. Nothing unusual about a streaker down Carolina way. Sieglinger was charged with misdemeanor trespassing and misdemeanor indecent ...

Is PSU The Biggest Sports Scandal In Modern History?
There was a cave cricket in my basement last night. They're horrible, nasty creatures that have +8 jumping ability. You have to act FAST in order to exterminate the little cocksuckers and protect your family, and so I quickly pinned him against the wall with a toy rocking chair and he was all mangle...

There Is Finally An Inspirational Children's Book About Danny Woodhead
If every undersized, scrappy professional athlete could have an inspirational children’s book written about him or her, the world would be full of adolescents with overblown expectations about their futures. But since that’s already the case with America’s youth, scraptastic young men like Greg Paul...

Jerry Sandusky, Joe Paterno, And Why "Good" People Fail To Do The Right Thing
At some point in the coming weeks, Joe Paterno is gonna step down as the head coach at Penn State, and the reason why is because there's no possible way to reconcile the statement he issued yesterday with the details from the grand jury report that say, specifically, that Peterno was told that Jerry...

ShortCenter: Hannah Storm And Jeremy Schaap Use Their Serious Voices To Talk About Jerry Sandusky
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

Julio Jones Makes Incredible Catch, Is Having His Own Game Of The Century Against The Colts
Julio Jones checks in early with today's first wild plays. ...

Air National Guardsman Rappels From Rafters, Drops Ceremonial First Puck At Islanders Capitals Game
Feel free to ignore the "highlights" in the linked video, but do watch Staff Sgt. Matthew Zimmerman drop the puck between Washington Capitals' captain Alex Ovechkin and something called Mark Streit....

The Official Who Breaks Up A Hockey Fight Will Sometimes Get Punched In the Face. Twice.
Your morning roundup for Nov. 4, the day we finally had it up to here with hugging. Video of hockey fight via Cosby Sweaters; H/T to Alicia. For an excellent GIF of Cal Clutterbuck's punch, be sure to check out West Coast Digress. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

The Facial Expression On The World's Fastest Jump Roper Is Gold
[via The Score]...

Peyton Hillis Is Sorry He Crushed The Spirits Of 50 Children On Halloween, But It Wasn't All His Fault
Peyton Hillis, the Browns injured running back and Madden cover boy, was supposed to attend a Halloween party for some 50 children from the Cleveland Boys and Girls Club on Monday. But he didn't. And he says it's because he got "misinformation" that resulted in a "miscommunication between me and th...

John Brown University Basketball Fans Wasted A Ton Of Toilet Paper Last Night, And It Looked Glorious
Last night in Siloam Springs, Ark., the NAIA's John Brown University played its first game of the 2011-12 season against Hillsdale Freewill Baptist and won, 101-58. And as they do every year, the Golden Eagles surrendered two easy points to Hillsdale in the second minute of the game, after officia...

Let's Watch Alex Ovechkin, Benched Late In Regulation, Call His Coach A "Fat Fuck"
Your morning roundup for Nov. 2, the day you wouldn't dare touch our Halloween candy if you knew what was up. Video of Ovechkin, which gets good at the 53-second mark, via 25stanley.com. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

And You Didn't Think It Was Possible To Score A Header From 63 Yards Out
Ryujiro Ueda, a defender for J-League team Fagiano Okayama, enters the record books with the longest header goal in soccer (or at least YouTube) history. He owes at least a share of the record to the goalkeeper, who supplies the kinetic energy and misplays the ball perfectly. [Daily Mail]...

Jim Irsay Is: Jeff Saturday
Funny thing is, Irsay probably could have helped his team had he dressed up as a receiver. [via Twitter]...

In New Book, Shaq Explains How Kobe's Sexual Assault Charges Destroyed The Lakers
Shaq Uncut: My Story, the Diesel's new autobiography written with noted Around the Horn personage Jackie MacMullan, comes out November 15 and it dropped on our desk today. There's some juicy stuff in there, most obviously about the beef between Shaq and Kobe. We had always known that the feud took a...