ap Page 1737 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Here's Video Of Last Night's One-Punch NHL Goalie Fight
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

D.C. Alt-Weekly Responds To Dan Snyder's Strongly Worded Letter (Letter Included)
This morning, we shared word that Washington Redskins owner Dan Snyder was really upset with a Washington City Paper staffer who writes critically of him. Potential legal wrangling was hinted at, calls for the writer's job made, feelings hurt....

11 Sumo Wrestlers Involved In (Text-Only) Text Message Controversy
Wrestlers and stablemasters in the Japan Sumo Association (JSA) have long been suspected of match-fixing, but now there might be some textual messages to prove it. Let's hope this doesn't all trace back to a stubby-finger typo....

Did Kevin Garnett Turn Down A Ball Boy With A Bin Laden Reference?
After yesterday's Lakers/Celtics game, both Yahoo's Marc Spears and ESPN's J.A. Adande Tweeted that when asked for his autograph, KG told a Lakers ball boy "you've got a better chance of catching Bin Laden." The Tweets were promptly deleted. Conspiracy?...

Michael Vick Scheduled To Headline "Atlanta Sportacular"
A sports cards/memorablilia-hawking moonlighter sent word of an interesting Feb. 11-13 show. It's interesting because Michael Vick will return to Atlanta for two hours of it. Asks memorabilia man, "Will Vick sign any rape stands or Bad Newz Kennel T-Shirts?"...

Cowboys QB Jon Kitna Doesn't Think You're "A Real Man" If You're Totally Into Laptop Porn
So, the XXX Church, a non-profit that seeks "to help people of all ages who are being assaulted by pornography," has apparently renamed Feb. 6 "Porn Sunday."...

O.J. Mayo Blames Gas Station Energy Drink For Positive Drug Test
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Hubristic Schadenfreude: Guy In Tapout Shirt Gets Floored
Remember, just because you buy the shirt, doesn't make you an MMA fighter. Or in this kid's case, maybe it gives him Keith Jardine's glass jaw....

Could This IHOP Brawl Put "I Ride The Ride" On The Catch-Phrase Map? (NSFW)
There's a lot going on in this two-minute piece of artistry from the IHOP in Orangeburg, S.C. on Saturday. Drinks being thrown. Canes being swung. Gibberish being yelled. And, a chilling effect being felt....

At Least 12 Iowa Hawkeye Football Players Hospitalized
The Quad City Times is reporting at least a dozen University of Iowa football players were admitted to university hospitals last night for "undisclosed illnesses."...

Checking Back In With Those Ridiculous NHL Superheroes
They're rolling out the remainder of the NHL's Guardian Project, and yes, our worst fears are realized. The Maple Leaf superhero is a tree....

D.C. Woman Commits Her Life To Hiding Bras
Here's a very special report about a garment that employs special buttons to prevent the bra-exposing "blouse gape" scourge. What inspired the "inventor"? Picking out proper wardrobe to work at a lobbying firm....

Why No One Remembers The Mark Sanchez Rape Case
A friend sent me an e-card this week. It's a woman spraying a can of Mace into the air, and the caption reads, "I can't wait to see what strategic defense the Jets use against a gigantic rapist."...

A Horrifying Selection Of Port-A-Potty Sex Stories
What's it like to make love to a drunken stranger in an outdoor waste box? Some readers have an answer....

There Are Photos For Sale Of Tennis Pros Getting A Lap Dance, Menstruating
Back into the shit-pit we dive. An enterprising amateur photographer asks if we'd like to spend our scuzz-money on some awful photos of two professional tennis players. Vamanos....

Masseuse Claims She Received Lewd Texts From Vikings Players, Including Brett Favre (NSFW)
Brett Favre's come-ons to massage therapists weren't limited to the two women with the New York Jets. Stephanie Dusenberry, an independent masseuse in Eden Prairie, Minn., who has worked with a number of Vikings players, claims that Favre sent her innuendo-laden text messages last September. She con...

Sharapova Stalker's Homemade "I Am Not A Stalker" Sign May Not Convey Intended Message
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Look, Maria Sharapova Has A New Dress!
The Australian Open starts tomorrow, with Rafael Nadal going for a not-quite Grand Slam. It's "not-quite" because while he'd win a fourth consecutive grand slam, it's not in the same season and Rod Laver won't let that historical-aggression stand....

Pissed-Off Under Armour Employee Does Not Want To Work Full Friday After Auburn's Championship
The corporate higher-ups at Under Armour probably should've waited to mess with employee holiday schedules, what with the lingering championship afterglow and all. One employee decided to vent his displeasure in the form of an anonymous email. This is his championship, after all....

The Fundamental Rule Of Public Masturbation
If you're at a gym and you put your shit in a locker and you don't put a lock on that locker, don't you deserve to have all your shit taken out of that locker and burned in front of you? I say yes. Nothing worse than a seemingly available gym locker that turns out to be taken by some shithead who ca...