If Football—that is, the American National Football League football—used the same naming scheme as “Dungeons & Dragons,” we’d call it “Beer Commercials & Cheerleaders.”

Tom Brady’s last option to overturn his four-game suspension was to try and take the case to the Supreme Court, but instead, he’s ending his battle against the NFL. After having his latest appeal rejected Wednesday, the Patriots quarterback said today that he will not continue to fight his punishment for his role in …

Matt Pfeffer had a one-year contract as an analytics consultant for the Montreal Canadiens, and the team reportedly informed him Wednesday that it wouldn’t be renewed for the upcoming season. According to one report, Pfeffer had strongly argued not to trade defenseman P.K. Subban, and lost more than that battle.

The Milwaukee Brewers beat the St. Louis Cardinals in walkoff fashion Friday after shortstop Jonathan Villar’s single drove in Kirk Nieuwenhuis with two outs in the ninth.

Jonathan Broxton fell apart in the seventh inning Wednesday as the Pittsburgh Pirates rallied to beat the St. Louis Cardinals, 7-5.

Seattle Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson and singer Ciara married today, according to E! News.

The Pittsburgh Pirates scored five runs in two innings Tuesday as they defeated the St. Louis Cardinals, 5-2.

St. Louis Cardinals manager Mike Matheny got tossed from the game Thursday as the Kansas City Royals beat St. Louis, 4-2.

The Kansas City Royals needed 12 innings to dispose of the St. Louis Cardinals Wednesday night as the defending champions won, 3-2.

The hockey stove is engulfed in flames and burning the house down and everyone is crying. Forward Steven Stamkos will reportedly shirk all other suitors before they have a chance, and re-sign with the Tampa Bay Lightning.

The Edmonton Oilers are trading Taylor Hall to the New Jersey Devils in exchange for defenseman Adam Larsson. TSN broke the trade, and both teams have made it official.

Former Indianapolis Colts running back Zurlon Tipton is reportedly dead after he accidentally shot himself today while picking up a duffel bag containing two guns in his car. He was 26.

Former Philadelphia Eagles coach and Chicago Bears defensive coordinator Buddy Ryan has died. He was 82.

Last week, Johnny Manziel’s defense attorney Bob Hinton unwittingly texted sensitive information about his client to the Associated Press, including the sentence, “Heaven help us if one of the conditions is to pee in a bottle.” Today, Manziel’s spokesperson Denise Michaels said that Hinton has withdrawn from the case.

Johnny Manziel was in Dallas Thursday for his initial hearing regarding charges from his alleged assault of ex-girlfriend Colleen Crowley in January. In an unrelated incident, Manziel told police that he was the victim of a hit-and-run on Monday. When an Associated Press reporter contacted Manziel’s defense attorney…

The likelihood of LeBron James leaving the Cleveland Cavaliers shrunk once he won Game 7. Now, for the record, he says he doesn’t want to go anywhere else.

Good for him.

Jurickson Profar’s two-RBI single with the bases loaded in the eighth inning gave the Texas Rangers a lead they wouldn’t relinquish Sunday, as they beat the St. Louis Cardinals, 5-4.

Contract negotiations between Von Miller and the Denver Broncos aren’t going anywhere. Miller wants to be paid like one of the best defensive players in the league, and the Broncos don’t seem willing to admit that he’s worth more guaranteed money than Olivier Vernon. The team made things worse when it leaked the…