appic Page 14 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Vikings CB: Same-Sex Marriage Ruling One Step Closer To Legal Pedophilia
The Supreme Court made same-sex marriage legal across the nation today. Minnesota Vikings cornerback Josh Robinson unwisely decided to express his opinion that the ruling represents the height of a slippery slope leading to the legalization of pedophilia and incest:...
NBA Draft Picks Choose Their Favorite Emoji; Justise Winslow Wins
Before last night’s draft, a handful of NBA prospects were asked for their favorite emoji. There were clear winners and losers....
Maybe Kristaps Porzingis Is An Okay Rapper After All
Here’s Krzykyzffgzl so and so, the Knicks’ top draft pick last night, singing a song in his car. At first I didn’t like this:...
Sepp Blatter Out Here Like "Hold Up. Who Said Anything About <i>Resigning</i>?"
Is Sepp Blatter just insane or what? That’s about the only question that comes to mind when you hear that, yes, as reports hinted at a couple weeks ago, ol’ Sepp doesn’t actually plan on relinquishing his grasp of the FIFA presidency any time soon—this time coming from the man himself....
Nine Possible Knicks Draft Picks
The Knicks have the fourth overall pick in tonight’s draft, which should guarantee them a shot at a very talented young player. But the rumor mill suggests they’re strongly considering taking Frank Kaminsky or trading the pick away, because the Knicks can always find a way to screw up a good thing. ...
Luke Ridnour Was Probably Traded Again In The Time It Took To Write This
Before yesterday, I wouldn’t have known where Luke Ridnour played last season. My best guess would have been, “Is he still in Minnesota?” The guard was actually with the Magic, until he was traded to the Grizzlies Wednesday, but his journey didn’t end there. Ridnour got shipped around two more times...
Blazers Send Nic Batum To Hornets For Noah Vonleh And Gerald Henderson
The Portland Trail Blazers are trading swingman Nic Batum to the Charlotte Hornets for forward Noah Vonleh and shooting guard Gerald Henderson. The deal was first reported by Yahoo’s Adrian Wojnarowski. ...
Terry Francona Says He Ate 17 Popsicles In One Night
This Sunday, I bought a box of popsicles and ended up eating six of them that night, which seemed like overkill at the time. Indians manager Terry Francona made me feel better when he revealed he ate 17 in one night....
Blackhawks' Teuvo Teravainen, On The Horniness Of Chicago Fans
Blackhawks center Teuvo Teravainen was asked about selfies and fans today. Did he respond by informing the media that female hockey fans in Chicago are very horny? He did....
Mistrial Declared In Vanderbilt Rape Case
Because a juror didn’t disclose that he was a victim of statutory rape, a Nashville judge granted a mistrial for Brandon Vandenburg and Cory Batey, two former Vanderbilt football players found guilty of rape in January....
Miguel Cabrera Fans Throw Wrench Into All-Royals All-Star Lineup
Dammit, All-Star voters. The goal was to get every Kansas City Royal in the AL lineup, with only Mike Trout as the outlier. Now, Miguel Cabrera has surpassed Eric Hosmer in the first baseman spot by over a million votes, and Mike Moustakas holds an extremely slim lead over Josh Donaldson....
Neymar Suspended For The Rest Of Copa América
Yesterday, we lamented the preliminary two-match suspension handed down to Neymar because of his actions at the end of the Brazil-Colombia game. We now know for (almost) certain that we have seen the last of Brazil’s stud for the Copa América, as his suspension has been increased to four games....
Chop Up These Pablo Sandoval Takes And Snort Them
Pablo Sandoval’s Instagram scandal has surfaced, punishment has been dealt—though MLB may also fine him—and now, the takes are here. How can Sandoval using Instagram while taking a dump be tied into bigger issues with the last-place Red Sox? Can the “chicken and beer” brouhaha be referenced?...
The Stud Who Fucked Himself To Death
The 19-year-old male died of an apparent heart attack at work. His work was fucking....
Report: MLB Has Scrubbed About 60 Million Improper All-Star Votes
Despite the substantial wave of votes for Royals players in the AL All-Star lineup, MLB Advanced Media CEO Bob Bowman said last week that the ballots were still being submitted legitimately. Over a week later, Bowman admitted that approximately 60 million fraudulent ballots had to be wiped from the ...
Screw It, Vote Every Kansas City Royal Into The All-Star Game
With about a month until the MLB All-Star Game, the American League roster shows a pattern: every player with the most votes at their position plays for the Royals. Even the bad ones....
<i>OTL</i> Report: How College Athletes Avoid Criminal Charges
College athletes at major schools across the country often avoid charges in criminal cases. They have access to high-profile lawyers; the athletic departments play major roles in the investigations; and witnesses are intimidated, indirectly or otherwise, according to an investigative report by ESPN’...
Shawn Marion's Ready To Go Whenever, Coach
Shawn Marion’s on the Cleveland Cavaliers. This might be news to anyone watching the playoffs, since the 37-year-old has logged 25 total minutes in the postseason, none of those coming in the Finals. Since the Cavs’ depth is so shallow, a new Brian Windhorst report asks, why not Marion?...
LeBron Has Been A Damned Statistical Marvel In The Finals
There’s a way to look at Steph Curry’s stat line as an artifact of not just box score accounting, but his style. If you look closely, there are traces of the visceral experience of watching Steph double axel around a screen and fire up a three from the hip in arcane statistical whimsy, like fast bre...
Dingy Goon Matthew Dellawhatever Is Giving Up Coffee Before Games
After being hospitalized for dehydration when Game 3 ended, War Boy with hair Matthew Dellavedova says he’ll skip his usual tradition of having coffee before a game and during halftime, because he thinks it might be affecting his on-court performance....