appic Page 141 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Sitting Duck: LeGarrette Blount Done At Oregon
Fistic running back LeGarrette Blount has been suspended for the rest of the season, ending his career at Oregon. Meanwhile, an NFL scouting director tells ESPN that Blount is now "completely undraftable." [The Oregonian, ESPN]...
The 2009 New York Mets: A Season Of Failure
The New York Mets are not the worst team in baseball. They are not even the most ineptly run franchise in their own division. Yet, their 2009 campaign may have forever redefined the concept of losing....
White Sox Trade Jim Thome, Throw In The Towel
The White Sox, losers of four in a row, have fallen six games behind the division-leading Tigers. And since it's now September, there's really no point in trying anymore. Time to start shedding contracts and call it a season....
The Rockies Are A Team Of Destiny Destined To Fail
Remember last week when I awarded Colorado the National League championship? Yeah, that was fun. It just goes to show you that a watched pot of history-making sports feats usually doesn't boil....
Hooray! America Is Still Dominant In Something!
The U.S. has won another LLWS. Let us reflect on the wise words of former attorney general Herbert Brownell: "The young Americans who compose the Little League will prove a hitless target for the peddlers of godless ideology." [AP]...
It Looks Like The Vick Jerseys Are On Back Order
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Goats Are The New Mutton
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Cardinals Bullpen Fixes John Smoltz In Five Minutes
Two weeks ago, John Smoltz left Boston a washed up failure. Then one bullpen session with the Cardinals and suddenly he's a future Hall of Famer again. All because his teammates figured out what Boston coaches couldn't....
Arrggh! My Back!
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This Way To The Pajama Party Of The Dead
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Rangers Welcome Ivan Rodriguez Back Into Their Pudgy Arms
Houston puts the Rangers' old catcher on a bus to Arlington, receive two prospects in return, and Texas fans get a daily reminder that old age will someday leave them a broken shell of their former selves. [Dallas Morning News]...
Antrel Rolle Blames Fumble On His Silky Smooth Arms
The hellish, back-breaking death march of professional football has claimed many victims, but perhaps none more tragically than Cardinals safety Antrel Rolle, who dropped a crucial preseason punt because his arms were over-moisturized. The horror.......
Braylon Edwards Learns About The Dark Side Of Twitter
Sure, social media brings you closer to the fans ... but that just makes it easier for them to tell you that you suck at your job. [Waiting For Next Year]...
Rich People Golf While You're At Work
The PGA Championship is under way. Follow along with the online leaderboard and it's almost like being outside! (Your cubicle has never felt so small and dark.) [PGA.com/ShaneBacon]...
What To Expect From "Hard Knocks: Cincinnati Bengals"
The Cincinnati Bengals are not quite the trainwreck they once were, but everyone is still hoping for some kind of entertainment value out of this year's edition of HBO's "Hard Knocks" docudrama. Don't get your hopes up....
Your U.S.A. vs. Mexico Open Live Thread Thingy
Fire up, gringos! It's like the original Mexican-American War, only with less malaria. The winner gets to punch Lou Dobbs in the face; loser gets to keep Texas. Olé your brains out in comments....
Brady Quinn-Derek Anderson Feud Gets Catty
Derek Anderson and Brady Quinn are both listed as No. 1 on the Browns depth chart, although I don't believe the NFL's plan to add a second football to gameplay will take effect this year. So let the sabotage begin!...
There Is Nothing Funny About This Picture
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The Eyes Of Texas Are Upon You
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Arturo Gatti's Death Ruled A Suicide By Purse Strap
A court ordered that his wife be released immediately. She had been accused of strangling her drunk husband with a purse strap while he slept, but apparently the subsequent investigation "excludes the possibility of murder." A totally understandable mix-up. [AP]...