appic Page 140 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Arena Football Is Back!
Your wails and lamentations have been heard, people! A year without indoor football is not a year worth living through, which is why the football gods—the really short ones—have resurrected arena football and saved your life....
Stafon Johnson's Prognosis Is Good
The USC tailback, hurt yesterday when a weight bar fell on his neck, underwent seven hours of throat surgery. He's in critical but stable condition. "We all feel a bit damaged today and injured," Pete Carroll said. [LA Times]...
Welcome To The Chad Henne Era, Miami Fans
Chris Mortensen says: Chad Pennington has a torn shoulder something and is probably done for the year. (He'll get a second opinion, but James Andrews has already cut him open twice.) That's why Jimmy Buffett invented the Wildcat, right? [ESPN/SecondStringFullback]...
Lambeau Leap Buddies Were Ochocinco Plants
What would you do if you learned that the greatest moment in Cincinnati Bengals history was a lie? Well, didn't the "coincidence" of three Bengal fans scoring front row tickets at Lambeau on Sunday seem too good to be true?...
Yankees Not Clear On The Concept Of "Hazing"
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
The 2009 Washington Nationals: A Season Of Bigger Failure
Despite appearances, the New York Mets are not baseball's worst team. That honor belongs to the Washington Nationals, a organization whose legendary incompetence should be memorialized on the marble arches of the great city that wishes they played elsewhere....
Hello There, Little Ball
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Leodis McKelvin: "I Am Going To Do It Again"
Buffalo Bills fans learned how to deal with disappointment a long time ago, so today is just another Tuesday morning for them. When you've already lost 11 in a row to one team, No. 12 isn't such a big deal....
Terrelle Pryor May Not Be The Best Spokesman For Michael Vick
So some stuff happened this weekend, huh? We might have missed some of it. Like that thing Terrelle Pryor said about murderers? What was that all about?...
Sitting Duck: LeGarrette Blount Done At Oregon
Fistic running back LeGarrette Blount has been suspended for the rest of the season, ending his career at Oregon. Meanwhile, an NFL scouting director tells ESPN that Blount is now "completely undraftable." [The Oregonian, ESPN]...
The 2009 New York Mets: A Season Of Failure
The New York Mets are not the worst team in baseball. They are not even the most ineptly run franchise in their own division. Yet, their 2009 campaign may have forever redefined the concept of losing....
White Sox Trade Jim Thome, Throw In The Towel
The White Sox, losers of four in a row, have fallen six games behind the division-leading Tigers. And since it's now September, there's really no point in trying anymore. Time to start shedding contracts and call it a season....
The Rockies Are A Team Of Destiny Destined To Fail
Remember last week when I awarded Colorado the National League championship? Yeah, that was fun. It just goes to show you that a watched pot of history-making sports feats usually doesn't boil....
Hooray! America Is Still Dominant In Something!
The U.S. has won another LLWS. Let us reflect on the wise words of former attorney general Herbert Brownell: "The young Americans who compose the Little League will prove a hitless target for the peddlers of godless ideology." [AP]...
It Looks Like The Vick Jerseys Are On Back Order
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Goats Are The New Mutton
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Cardinals Bullpen Fixes John Smoltz In Five Minutes
Two weeks ago, John Smoltz left Boston a washed up failure. Then one bullpen session with the Cardinals and suddenly he's a future Hall of Famer again. All because his teammates figured out what Boston coaches couldn't....
Arrggh! My Back!
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
This Way To The Pajama Party Of The Dead
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Rangers Welcome Ivan Rodriguez Back Into Their Pudgy Arms
Houston puts the Rangers' old catcher on a bus to Arlington, receive two prospects in return, and Texas fans get a daily reminder that old age will someday leave them a broken shell of their former selves. [Dallas Morning News]...