ass Page 254 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Vanderbilt O-Lineman Motivates His Team By Freaking The Hell Out
Last Saturday, Vanderbilt led UMass 10-7 heading into halftime. Vandy offensive lineman Wesley Johnson was apparently not impressed by the three-point lead, and he let his team know about it by flipping his shit in the locker room....
It's Matt Cassel Time For The Vikings
The fact that Matt Cassel will start for Minnesota on Sunday against the Steelers in London actually does nothing to settle the Vikings' unsettled QB situation. Sure, Christian Ponder's been terrible, tossing five INTs to two touchdowns and sitting in the third tertile of nearly every passing stat, ...
Sam Gagner's Broken Jaw Is Grotesque
Dear lord, Sam Gagner, what happened to your face?! Oh right, Zack Kassian's stick....
Old People Think Younger Kids Aren't Running Fast Because Of <i>The Wire</i>
Welcome back to Recovering Fatass Soundtrack, where talk about running, music and, this week, how old people are the worst. I went full albums again this week (with some randos sprinkled in to make up the time), which is why I've organized some as "Band, Album." A full album is kind of like an instr...
Life Is A Lot Better When You Don't Expect Much Of Yourself
What a smooth week of being physically fit and observing a healthy, balanced diet it has been. What say we gather 'round the chiminea and swap stories of our personal triumphs? And share music, too. Here's a Spotify playlist. Let's get to it....
Terry Bradshaw: "I Wouldn't Have Fucked His Old, Ugly-Ass Mother"
Maybe you're wondering, on this crisp Saturday morning, Deadspin, how could we possibly know if Terry Bradshaw would or would not fuck some unidentified person's old, ugly-ass mother? That's a very personal preference of Terry's to claim knowledge of. A fair question. The answer: he said it on live...
This 7-Year-Old Jets Fan Is A Little Asshole
And so is his cousin. She posted this on YouTube, and clearly thinks that the fact that this kid is a little asshole is super cute. It's not super cute. It's going to get him punched in the face in ten years....
<em>Sports Illustrated</em> Falls For Satire About Nick Saban Visiting Texas
What you see above is the story that went screaming out on the SI Wire at SI.com earlier today. Technically, it's true: Nick Saban is indeed visiting Texas this weekend—but only because Alabama's showdown with Texas A&M is still scheduled for Saturday in College Station. But that's not all SI.com is...
Audiobooks Are For Communists And Charles Bronson Villains
We welcome September into our lives and all it has to offer: sweet weather, the NFL, meaningful baseball games and two months before I have to run 13.1 consecutive miles. It's a pretty decent time to be alive; let's talk about why it's not. Here's your Spotify playlist....
Arkansas State Penalized For Not Knowing How To Contrast Colors
Before the first offensive play of Saturday's Arkansas State-Auburn game, the Red Wolves were penalized 15 yards for their heinous uniforms....
Disturbing Allegations Emerge In Vanderbilt Rape Case
Further details have come out concerning the June 23 rape of a 21-year-old woman that led to the dismissal of four Vanderbilt football players, including junior college transfer, Brandon Vandenburg. According to a report from BuzzFeed, the incident was worse than previously reported and at least one...
The 16 Fall Movies You Should Be Excited About: A Guide
Labor Day is the signpost every year that the sugary summer junk is behind us and that the nutritious square meal of awards season has finally arrived. That's the theory, anyway: In actuality, summer movies like Before Midnight and Fruitvale Station will be as well-received as any Oscar bait, and th...
When The Treadmill Makes You Hate What You Once Loved
I discovered something this week on the treadmill. God, the treadmill is just the worst. The absolute worst. That's not the discovery. Calling that a discovery is like saying Christopher Columbus discovered the Americas. What I'm saying is: the Vikings were somehow involved in the manufacturing of a...
The Dolphins Tweeted Out A Picture Of A Big Naked Dolphin Ass
We've seen bigger and naked-er asses before, but this one is noteworthy simply because it was shared by the team's official Twitter account. Who says social media editors are useless? ...
Everything Is A Slippery Slope When You Are Weak-Willed
We've got a short playlist this week for a couple of reasons. First, I am at the very beginning of a new training schedule, so we're starting slow at three miles. Second, one of the songs was 16-minutes long. You're going to hate it. Here we go! A Spotify playlist can be found here, and the rest sta...
Bill "Spaceman" Lee, Age 66, Played All Nine Positions Last Night
The Spaceman's still going, man. Baseball's most famous old hippie again made a couple of appearances with the independent San Rafael (Calif.) Pacifics this week, nearly one year to the day after he tossed a complete game for them at the age of 65. Far out....
Max Stassi Took A Fastball Off His Chin
It has been a rough day for baseball players' faces. Wednesday afternoon, Jason Heyward took a 90-mph fastball to the face. A few hours later, nearly the same exact thing happened to Houston's Max Stassi with the bases loaded....
High School Football Coach Accused Of Stealing, Pawning Student's Watch
Kevin Strasser, head coach for Oregon City High School, was arrested yesterday after being accused of stealing a student's wristwatch, then selling it to a pawnshop....