ass Page 286 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Tiger's Porn Mistress Claims Golfer Was Not A Fan Of Contraception
Veronica Siwik-Daniels a.k.a "Joslyn James" a.k.a. "Mistress #4,567" claims Tiger impregnated her twice during their earnest love-making sessions in Vegas hotel rooms. However, Radar reports she's a horrible, untrustworthy mom so you should be skeptical of her abortion stories....

A-HOLE BOSS DIGEST: Audio Edition!
Welcome to Asshole Boss Digest, where we regale you Deadspin folk with stories of the meanest, cruelest, most batshit insane bosses, coaches, and teachers you ever had. Email me your asshole boss story here....

Joe Paterno's New Eyewear: Eyes
The 83-year-old Penn State coach had eye surgery which helps him "read his watch" and "not have to wear glasses" anymore but he should, because without them, he looks old and scary. [FightOnState]...

Good Old Fashioned T-Shirt Racism In Kansas
A Lawrence retailer is selling t-shirts that say "Frank Martin Mows My Lawn." The K-State coach is Latino. This has understandably become a bit of a firestorm....

Maybe Tiger Woods Should Hire These People To Help Him Keep His Celibacy Contract
ABC News did a piece on on sex addiction and what Tiger Woods' new life will be like as the world's number one coozehound playing golf. He should fire Stevie Williams and bring on "Da Crabs Assassin" as his caddy....

Your Inaugural A*HOLE BOSS DIGEST
Welcome to Asshole Boss digest, where we regale you, the Deadspin reader, with stories of the meanest, cruelest, most batshit insane bosses you've ever worked under. Off we go....

Ma-Bu-Li In China: A Gallery
You read Anthony Tao's story about Stephon Marbury earlier today. The photos he took during his time on Marbury's trail offer further insight into the weirdness of the Lone Wolf's stint in the Chinese Basketball Association. With commentary by Tao....

The Lone Wolf Goes To China
Stephon Marbury is now a point guard for the Brave Dragons of Shanxi, where writer Anthony Tao finds Ma-Bu-Li trying to preserve his star among the coal heaps of a modern Chinese city....

Boston Fans Perfect The Art Of Self Parody
This custom Beruit table perfectly crystallizes the essence of why the stereotypical Boston sports fan is so universally loathed. Naturally, the stereotypical Boston sports fan who created it could not be prouder. [BarstoolSports]...

Coach Maxwell Is Displeased With Your Execution...And An Announcement (UPDATE)
Reader Ryan sends us this video of Coach Eric Maxwell of Southern High School in New Jersey throwing a volleyball at one of his own (female) players. Charming fellow. And now, an announcement…...

January: <em>Fin.</em>
We produce a lot of posts every month. Most of them disappear quickly. Some of them don't. Here are the 10 most popular posts from January, ranked low to high...

Nutty Protesters Going After Hockey Now, Apparently
Westboro Baptist Church, best known for disrupting soldiers' funerals and being generally batshit insane, are currently — at this very moment! — picketing outside the Stars/Coyotes game in Dallas. Because nothing saith "abomination unto the Lord" like Marty Turco's goaltending....

I Feel Your Pain, 7-Foot K-State Clarinetist
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Listen Up, NBC: Here's An Idea To Boost Olympics Ratings
Most people think of the 1896 Olympics in Athens simply as the first Olympiad. Some people think of the 1896 Olympics in Athens as a shining beacon of nude recreation. Like? The American Association for Nude Recreation. Obviously....

A-HOLE COACH DIGEST: Coaching Feud Edition!
Welcome to Asshole Coach Digest, where we regale you Deadspin folk with stories of the meanest, cruelest, most batshit insane coaches you ever had. Email me your asshole coach story here....

Bourbon Street Looked Like The Most Fun Place On Earth Last Night
Now, this is not Detroit, man. Nola.com has amazing footage of the joyful chaos on Bourbon Street last night after Garrett Hartley split the uprights (he's apparently a soothsayer, too). There's brassy marching, unreserved embracing and abundant whodatting! [ViaSBNation]...

Last Night's Winner: Massholes
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Curt Schilling's boy toy, Scott Brown, who posthumously kicked Ted Kennedy's health care loving butt. This is exactly like the American Revolution, but more annoying....

Did Venus Go Commando?
The most pressing question of our time is, naturally, was Venus Williams wearing underwear at the Australian Open yesterday? We dig deep, breaking down the footage, to give you a definitive answer....

Moon of Venus: It Appears One Williams Sister Forgot To Wear Her Bloomers
This just in from a reader named Luke who's watching the Australian Open highlights on ESPN2: Thong? No unders? Huh? Just on espn2 moments ago.... Raw hiney, after the jump. (NSFWish?)...

Last Night's Winner: Non-Number One Teams
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Kentucky, who will soon be number one thanks to Kansas State, who took care of the last number one. Everyone comes out ahead! (Except Texas.)...