ass Page 286 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Comatose Giants Fan Shouldn't Have Been Wearing A Giants Jersey, Writes Dumbass
Bryan Stow is the 42-year-old Giants fan who was beaten outside Dodger Stadium and who now lies in a medically induced coma. Stow was wearing a Giants jersey at the time of the attack. I'll let John Steigerwald, a columnist for the Observer-Reporter in Washington, Pa., and a former television anch...
The Kentucky Wildcats Refused To Go Down Without A Fight Or An Internationally-Televised Nut Tap
Your morning roundup for April 3, the day it became clear that 16-year-old girls at meth labs hope you have rabies....
Jimmer Left The Court With A Bandage On His Chin, But Kyle Singler Probably Saw His Mom Crying
Your morning roundup for March 25, the day rockhopper penguins fight for their oil-slicked lives....
Frank Martin Is The Most Terrifying Coach On Earth
Wisconsin beat Kansas State in the second round on Saturday, and in the post-game press conference, a reporter's question made Wildcat senior Jacob Pullen cry. Terrifying hero-coach Frank Martin came to his star's defense, and in that moment we were reminded that if Frank Martin wanted to, he coul...
Your Late Round-Of-32 Games Open Thread
Today's second batch of games starts around 6:10 p.m. eastern with Temple vs. San Diego State. About an hour later, Butler goes up against Pittsburgh. Then, it's Gonzaga vs. BYU and Kansas State against Wisconsin....
Your NCAA Tournament Final Four Games Of Day One Open Thread
A good foursome of games to close out opening day. Michigan State vs. UCLA to start it off on TBS. Then, Gonzaga vs. St. John's on the network, Mizzou vs. Cincinnati on TNT and Utah State vs. Kansas State to close out the day on truTV....
Three Arrested, Six Ejected At FA Youth Cup; Remaining Man U Fans Chant About Terrible Disasters
Liverpool and Manchester United played in the annual FA Youth Cup on Sunday. United came back from two goals down to win, 3-2. The other final count at Anfield: three fans arrested for drunkenness, six ejected for what was likely more controlled drunkenness, and reports that a section of United fa...
A Brief Reminder That Kevin O'Neill Is One Of College Basketball's All-Time Dickheads
Whatever went down last night between USC coach Kevin O'Neill, his wife, and a 60-something Arizona booster at an L.A. hotel — and reports so far seem to rate the proceedings somewhere between a barroom shoutfest and Antietam — it is worth noting that O'Neill has been a unabashed prick for so long a...
Sheriff: Sweaty, Shirtless Man With Gun Stopped Near Scene Of Alleged Meriweather Shooting
The Orange County Sheriff's Office just dropped an info packet on our inbox. Some interesting tidbits in here. For one: Apopka police stopped a Dodge Stratus with four people inside a few blocks away from the shooting. In the car, the cops found a loaded Smith & Wesson hand gun "wrapped in a sweaty ...
Man Named Dokken Assaults Gopher Mascot Named Goldy
Before the rush to judgment commences, can we all agree that there is zero need for a buck-toothed mascot to obstruct the view of a 60-year-old guy who just wants to spend his Saturday enjoying some men's gymnastics? Cool....
We Are All Dave McKenna XXIX
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit is defeated by Charlie Sheen's warlock powers. Our newest entry is from Rolling Stone's human flamethrower, Matt Taibbi, who's been running a humo...
The First Look At The Mustachioed Mopper From Texas
Your morning roundup for March 1, the day Charlie Sheen rode a mercury surfboard on the media tsunami....
Driver Mows Down Dozens Of Bicyclists During Rally In Brazil
Critical Mass is an event that brings bike enthusiasts together every month in hundreds of cities around the world to advocate for sustainable transportation. The bikers meander through streets and sometimes block traffic, which can tick off drivers. In Puerto Alegre, Brazil on Friday night, motor...
Wrigley Field Is Looking For A New PA Announcer, Inquire Within
Have you ever wanted to announce the lineup of a historically mediocre baseball team? Stepping up to the plate, your catcher, number 55, KOYIE HILL!...
This Was The Day Snow Tits Evolved Into Telestrator Tits
Halfway through the second period of tonight's Detroit Red Wings/Dallas Stars game, booth talk apparently turned to penalty-box shoulder pads. The end result: Telestrator Breastuses on what appears to be Mike Ribeiro of the Stars. (H/T Ryan C.)...
Wisconsin Beats Michigan With A Banked-In Three-Pointer At The Buzzer
Wisconsin's Josh Gasser beat Michigan with this shot last night, and probably ended their chances at an at-large bid to the dance, too. The look on the Wolverines' faces after the shot says it all: there really is no more demoralizing ending to a basketball game, if you're not on the side that chu...
Lady Puts Hidden Camera On Her Ass, "Busts" People And Jesus Scoping It
The introduction of "Ass Cam" poses the question of whether "you've ever wondered what goes on behind your back." From there, you can decide whether the two asscamtrepreneurs accurately predicted that they "look dumb :D"...
At Denny's, They Will Clean Your Table While You Continue Brawling (NSFW) (UPDATED)
UPDATE: Well, the original video was taken down overnight for YouTube service-terms violations. Thankfully, someone else was taping. And double thankfully, syrup appears to be involved in the impetus. (H/T Dylan for the extended remix version.)...
Cassy Herkelman Is The Bigger Person In The 112-Pound Weight Class
This week, a God-fearin' home-schooled young man named Joel Northrup refused to face Cassy Herkelman in the ring because his faith doesn't allow men wrasslin' ladies. In a statement issued by his host school (because public high school athletic departments in Iowa have public relations experts?), No...
Remembering The Time Jay Mariotti Got Hazed In The Reds Clubhouse
With Jay Mariotti doing the stations of the cross now, let's take a look back at a demoralizing moment from early in his career. A reader called our attention to the following excerpt from Gene Wojciechowski's 1990 book, Pond Scum and Vultures: America's Sportswriters Talk About Their Glamorous Prof...