bs Page 190 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as your cat demands an iPod ... • Golf: American Century Championship, first round, at Lake Tahoe, Nev. At least Berman's not here. [ESPN2] • MLB: Pittsburgh at Atlanta. A more compelling matchup you'd be hard to find. [TBS] • Softball: KFC World Cup of Softball, round robin, USA vs. C...

Who Will Be the Next Sports Figure To Get Gastric Bypass Surgery?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....

A Perfectly Appropriate Keepsake
Under normal circumstances, we couldn't imagine a way that we would ever buy our father a birthday present — August 6, everybody; postmark Bryan Leitch, Mattoon, Illinois! — that's a piece of Chicago Cubs memorabilia. But this might just be an exception....

Mark Cuban Could Be Wrigley's Purveyor Of Jocularity
Cubs fans, beware: There's a possibility that Lou Piniella could end up working for Mark Cuban. That would be a calm partnership and in no way combustible....


Richard Gasquet Is Your Not-Gay Semifinalist
Roger Federer, staving off a surprising surge from longtime rival Rafael Nadal, won his fifth consecutive Wimbledon yesterday. (His first Wimbledon win was over that idiot on that dumb NBC reality show, by the way.) But the real winner wasn't Federer, but semifinalist Richard Gasquet, who finally ba...

Who dares challenge Pennsylvania's status as the country's marble-playing powerhouse? Certainly not you, I hope. The Keystone State is home to 66 national marble champions. Here's something else I learned today: One who plays the game of marbles is known as a "mibster." Please discard your Word-of-t...


About Last Night ...
What you missed while doubling down on a pair of tens ... • MLB: Yankees terror alert level raised to whatever color that is in Steinbrenner's face ... • Golf: Cristie Kerr wins U.S. Women's Open, can now afford to fix her first name. • Motor sports: Denny Hamlin makes with the vroom to win at New H...

Hey, Aramis Ramirez Hit A Home—YeeeeeOW!
The high-five being replaced with the prostate-massage ... long, long, overdue. But if this Cubs winning streaks goes much longer, I shudder to think of what's going to start happening in that dugout. Bat boys are going to have to be replaced with jizzmoppers....

Paris Hilton Gets Out Of Jail, This Guy Goes In ... It's The Circle Of Liiiffe ...
We knew that once you begin letting fans vote on the All-Star roster, it's only a matter of time before some of them begin leaping onto the field to make pitching changes. This "numbskull," as the Chicago Sun-Times described him, was just a few feet from reaching Cubs pitcher Bob Howry in the ninth ...

Which Athlete Will Be The Next Gay Blog Obsession?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....

And Suddenly That Giant Hog Story Looks So Unimpressive
We like bears. As Robert Klein once said, they are the most helpful of all the animals. "If you have to be stuck in an elevator, it might as well be with a bear. 'Can you reach up there, bear?' 'Well, I think I can try ...' " But when a bear is attacking your six-year-old son, there's only one thing...

Come Celebrate An Old Man's Victory Lap
Not that any of you were wondering, but this is clearly why Sammy Sosa came back after "retiring:" He gets to make this ridiculous face in front of a stadium full of fans who still aren't quite sure what to think of him....

Baseball Remains Very Good To Sammy Sosa
As the last smidgen of interleague play fades from our consciousness — and we'll never forget that magical June of 2007! — we lament, for a moment, that tonight's Rangers-Cubs game will be played in Arlington rather than at Wrigley. We would love to see how Sammy Sosa's homecoming to the Friendly Co...

Real Jews Root For The Red Sox
Via Bar Stool Sports — and we're slightly late on this — we learn that American Jewish Life Magazine (not edited by David Hirshey) makes the solid case that all Jews should love the Red Sox and hate the Yankees....

Why Would The Orioles Ever Need To Make A Change?
We don't mean to imply that it might be a tough time for Cubs fans, but now their executives are jumping ship to the Orioles....

A Cub Not Named Michael Barrett Fights Someone
As noted in an earlier threadjack, Cubs' slugger Derrek Lee got into it with 6'10" Padres pitcher Chris Young. Lee, as angry baseball players are apt to do, swung wildly, and Young did not back down. Had this one not been broken up, I'd like Young's chances....

The Substitute Has Arrived
Good morning! Dan Shanoff here. (First things first: I cannot dunk, obviously. That photo to the right was taken on a 7-foot rim, and even then I needed a boost.)...