bu Page 609 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Rams Can Cure What Ails Ya
The Steelers wouldn't actually blow this thing, would they? The team with the handsome coach and the gay mascot have looked awful the last few weeks, and now the Browns are threatening to pass them. But they wouldn't fall so far to lose to the Rams, right? Right?...
SHOTY Elite Eight: Pac Man Jones Vs. Sean Salisbury
As we eye that looming upset, we look at our final Elite Eight matchup....
Joe Buck Verbally Gropes Jessica Simpson. Eww.
The one question that needed to be asked and wasn't: What's the worse fashion mistake: Simpson's pink No. 9, or Laura Quinn's half jersey? Please vote now....
For Your Sunday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure
Non-Football TV • In progress — Bowling. PBA Spartanburg [ESPNC] • In progress — Into The Blue [SHOe] • 1:00 — Pool. Women's 9-Ball Championship [ESPN] • 1:00 — U.S. Marshals [SPIKE] • 1:30 — The Jackal [USA] • 2:00 — Shanghai Noon [TBS] • 2:00 — National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation [TBS] • 2:30 — ...
This Joke Was Funnier Five Minutes Ago
To keep the comments as fresh and outstanding as they've been up to this point, we've commissioned Commenting Guru Rob Iracane to write a bi-weekly Comment Ombudsman column. It runs every other week. This is that week....
Overtime and Gambling Make Wonderful Bedfellows
Since there's way too much going on in the NFL for me to get caught up in wordy prose I'm going to switch it up to a bullet point format. It's creative, it's original, and nobody's ever done it before! • Why can't our country produce fifteen people capable of providing the play-by-play for football ...
About Last Night
What you missed while discovering that White Russians and red wine make for a diabolical combination... • NBA: Josh Howard and Deron Williams put on a spectacular display of point accumulation. • CBB: Dayton stuns Louisville while my guitar Flubby gently weeps. • Boxing: Floyd Mayweathe, you magnifi...
Canadian Football Has Strange Celebrations
Click to view I'm just going to sit back and let the video speak for itself. Sometimes a Saturday afternoon just isn't complete without a video of some schmuck getting hit in the balls with a football. Via College Humor...
He Seems To Have Thought Of Everything: How In The World Did This Not Work?
So this guy robs a bank, and during his getaway he stops at a salon about a block away for hair extensions and a manicure (by now you've guessed that this occurred in Florida). But that's not the best part. The loot he stole was booby trapped, and during his escape it exploded, covering him in red d...
Baseball Alumni Would Like Some More Of Your Money, Please
Always wanted to get close to your favorite baseball players, but only in a corporate, officially licensed, non-transferable type of way? You're in luck: You can become a member of the Major League Baseball Players Alumni Association....
Peruvian Soccer Fans Are Easily Offended
In Peru, Efrain Viafara, a midfielder for Sport Ancash, created an uproar when he used his buttocks to trap the ball. His bit of unorthodox skill was interpreted as a mocking act by Universitario players, who chased Viafara. Fans began to fight in the stands, then poured onto the field before the re...
Stephen A. Smith Imagines A Utopian Society Without Bloggers
It's the question that has plagued scientists for the better part of a decade: Is there life inside of Stephen A. Smith's head? It would be foolish to rule it out ... after all, life can take many forms, including the smallest of single-cell organisms. But as of now, NASA has no plans beyond sendi...
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured it's message boards this morning for its wittiest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
Whatever Choice Was Made, It Was Going To Be Wrong
We enjoy this picture of Georgia center Fernando Velasco, taken after the Bulldogs' win over Georgia Tech Saturday, because he is holding an orange. Presumably, a fan through him — and some other Bulldogs — an orange to symbolize the Orange Bowl. This is odd not because Georgia is not going to the O...
The Culinary Genius Of Bill Belichick
For some reason, today seems like a really, really, r-e-a-l-l-y slow sports day. Maybe it's because the NFL lineup at 1:00 is substandard. Maybe it's because Dan Shanoff is making nary a sound as he quietly crunchees the numbers to see if a three-loss team can make the BCS championship game. So t...
Shooting At The Net Yields More Goals? Brilliant!
After a humiliating, unprecedented loss to the Buffalo Sabres, Redstate.org probably thinks the Carolina Hurricanes deserve a do-over. After all, some of the goals Buffalo scored throughout the game were intentional, unfair, and uncalled for. It's the only sensible conclusion after Buffalo's eight —...
Dissecting Captain Crazy
Watching the Knicks these days is a brutal, glorious experience; last night's loss to the Celtics was the nadir in a season full of them. And the centerpiece of the madness is, of course, Stephon Marbury, the Tracy Jordan of the NBA. He's mesmerizing; we can't look away....
SHOTY First Round: Sean Salisbury Vs. Rick Ankiel
After almost a week off, the 2007 SHOTY Tournament returns with a matchup of two very different human beings....
Steelers Roll Around In The Slop For Three Hours
How close we were last night to a 0-0 tie on "Monday Night Football." That's one that would have gone down in history; we'd certainly remember a soccer result more than we'd remember a dull, sloppy, soaked morass. All that was missing last night was fog....