cake Page 2 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
This Year's Bad NFL Teams Are Some Of The Worst Ever
Every season, there are at least a few atrocious NFL teams, teams that are disasters. But this season there are six of those teams—Jets, Jaguars, Titans, Raiders, Buccaneers, and Washington. Which seems like an abnormally high amount of shitty teams. So using Pro Football Reference data, we examin...
Cristiano Ronaldo Enjoys His Own Crotch, In Cake Form
Ah yes. We've reached the first anniversary of walking brand Cristiano Ronaldo's underwear line—which you may remember from our previous coverage. In celebration, Ronaldo's team has memorialized the occasion by baking him a cake. Of his bulging crotch....
South Carolina Gamecocks Self-Report Rule-Breaking Cookie Cakes To NCAA
The latest example of unnecessary self-flagellation for the NCAA's satisfaction comes from South Carolina. The Gamecocks reported 22 minor violations of NCAA rules, and the dumbest by far involves the football team and cookie cakes....
Rainbow-Cake Recipe Inspires Comment Apocalypse
This is just a really special moment for humanity. We take you to the website for Fox 101.9, a radio station in Melbourne, Australia, where "Web Guy Josh" has published a peppy, harmless instructional post for the making of an "Amazing Rainbow Tie-Dye Number Surprise Cake."...
How To Make Pancakes, A Marvel Of Labor And Science
The pancake—the notion of the pancake as a breakfast food—comes to us from an older time, a slower time, a time before boxed cereal. A time when your breakfast choices included grinding wheat into flour, mixing it with liquid, and cooking it, or else just chewing on some un-ground wheat like an ass...
Behold, John Calipari As A Cake
This John Calipari cake is impressively accurate—though the nose is a little wide, the other details are spot on, like the mole on his cheek—but it would not be enjoyable to see this face peering into my window at night. Ever....
Adriana Lima And Marko Jaric Split—Here Are The Pics You're Waiting For
People is reporting that supermodel Adriana Lima and former NBA player Marko Jaric have broken up, meaning they're both on the market. We know what you're thinking, and don't worry: We've got you covered. Here are some of the hottest pics we could find....
The Cubs' 400-Pound Wrigley Cake Is Sitting In A Dumpster Right Now
To celebrate Wrigley Field's 100th birthday yesterday, the Cubs commissioned "The Edible Confines," a 5'x5', 400-pound cake version of Wrigley. It took four bakers six days to make. It took one day to be unceremoniously trashed, much like a century's worth of Cubs fans' hopes and dreams....
Married Couple Injured In Marathon Bombing Cross Finish Line Together
Patrick Downes and Jessica Kensky were spectators last year, lined up along Boylston street to watch the marathoners finish. They were right in front of the first bomb, the blast knocking them unconscious and requiring the amputation of each's left leg below the knee. They were back at the finish li...
King Cake Baby Is Back
The Pelicans—who just redesigned their primary mascot to make it less terrifying—have brought back King Cake Baby for Mardi Gras. Here's he/she/it at the Clippers game last night:...
Nick Faldo Is A Cupcake Magician
Spoiler alert: it's not really magic. Faldo was giving Gary Player a hard time about his fitness advocacy and played like he was going to eat the cupcake before tossing it over his shoulder. It hit the glass window behind the booth and stuck there. ...
The Great American Menu: Foods Of The States, Ranked And Mapped
What are the United States' best regional foodstuffs? Its worst? These are the questions that bedevil the mind of man—but no longer! For here, we have ranked them. Rigorously scientific (not), ardently researched (nope), and scrupulously fair (not even a little bit): this is the Great American Menu!...
Adam Jones Got A Popeye's Chicken-Themed Cake For His Birthday
Goddammit, Adam Jones. Now I'm just hungry for Popeye's. And also cake....
Here's Another NSFW Cake That Brent Grimes Got For His Birthday
Earlier today, we showed you the very NSFW cake that Dolphins cornerback Brent Grimes got for his 30th birthday. Now, someone has sent us a picture of a cake that we are told Grimes got on his 29th birthday. It looks like pornographic cakes are kind of his thing. Scroll down if you want to see the u...
Brent Grimes Got A Very NSFW Cake For His 30th Birthday
Dolphins cornerback Brent Grimes turned 30 on Friday. His wife and friends threw him a surprise party. Grimes's wife, Miko, posted some photos and videos from the party. The party had a casino theme. Miko Grimes also Instagrammed a photo of Grimes's cake. The cake did not have a casino theme....
How To Make Crab Cakes That Actually Taste Like Crab
The first step is preheating your oven. Yes, that's right: not your deep-fryer, not your skillet, but your oven. Because you are going to bake your crab cakes....
"Dangerous" Triangular Flapjacks Banned In England, And The BBC Is All Over It
Here is a report from tonight's BBC News, and it includes the following statements:...
Florida State Didn't Cover Against Savannah State Because They Played With A Running Clock And Ended The Game Halfway Through
Yesterday, we talked about Savannah State football throwing itself on the altar of an increased budget for the school's athletic department; today, we see the absurd fallout that can result from a cupcake game no one is particularly invested in. The Tigers had been slaughtered 84-0 by Oklahoma State...
The Savannah State Athletic Director Sure Does Hate His Football Team
Or least that's the way it looks in the short-term. Partly as an investment in the future, Savannah State has offered itself up as a cupcake to far better teams this season, and has proven itself thus far a rich, artisanal cupcake, with delicate pink frosting and cinnamon accents. The program's fir...