d Page 7293 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
About Last Night ...
What you missed while waiting in line for Star Wars tickets ... Suns go up 3-2 on Mavericks: Revenge of the Ewok as Nash goes for 34 against old team. Another setback for Bonds: He's attached to an IV in emergency attempt to distill some humility. M's end Yankees' win streak at 10: You may now resu...
Your Bill Simmons Translator
It's that time of day: The Bill Simmons Translator! The highlights of today's More Cowbell column:...
Lineup Set For Lingerie Bowl III
In case Paul McCartney doesn't do it for you anymore, the happy folks who organize Lingerie Bowl III have announced their lineup for this year's Pay-Per-View extravaganza. Jenny McCarthy and Cindy Margolis are the biggest names, and the organizers are optimistic. The significant drop in this past...
Today in MLB Blogs
Where We Look At MLB's Charming Attempts To Revolutionize The Interweb ......
To Watch Tonight ...
What to do tonight instead of feigning interest in your family. Game 5: Dallas Mavericks at Phoenix Suns: This game won't end until after 1 a.m. on the East Coast. ER doctors and 7-Eleven clerks will be talking about this one for days. Texas Rangers at Chicago White Sox: Until now we knew the White...
Congressional Steroids Diary: My God, There's More Hearing Tomorrow
1:28 p.m.: Sonny Bono s widow is telling Donald Fehr a story about a high school student she knows who was so strong that he pulled his finger off while swinging a bat. That actually just occurred, right? Might have been a mass hallucination....
NHL.com Staffers Trying To Stay Awake
Pity the poor folks who work at NHL.com. There haven't been any games in months, all the players are off playing in the countries where they change the president every month and, all told, there just ain't all that much to do. These days, they're twiddling their thumbs by playing a fantasy tourna...
SI.com's Tortured Crawl Toward Relevance
Poor SI.com. Two years ago, ESPN.com's Page 2 took them so far by surprise that by the time they realized what had happened, Page 2 had already become stale and boring. (Except for you, Bill! We love you, Bill!) The undignified pant continues with a Sports and Star Wars: The Connection, a sad, tired...
Congressional Steroids Diary: Limping, Bleeding Into The Afternoon
11:26 a.m.: Say what you will about the guy, but Don Fehr is no wuss. He just went through each point of the proposed anti-steroid bill and trashed pretty much all of them. Fortunately, he was followed by the commissioner of a league that doesn t really exist right now, so no one will remember....
What's Bill's Cartoon About?
Tomorrow is the day we have all been waiting for: A new Bill Simmons cartoon! It has been nearly three months since we last saw the little animated Bill — save that weird scary one at the top of his page that blinks — and, hey, who hasn't missed them?...
California Legislature Publicly Confesses Boredom
Angels owner Arte Moreno is the type of guy we like. In case you forgot, this guy got around the Angels' agreement with the city of Anaheim that he would keep their city in the team's name by calling them the "Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim," knowing full well that the name would just be shortened...
Congressional Steroids Diary: The First Hour
10:10 a.m.: Representative Cliff Stearns (R-Fla.) says that sports values performance more than character. No!...
We Love The Fat Basketball Players
With ESPN's Chad Ford crying Chicken Little about the potential of an NBA lockout, we got to thinking about the last NBA lockout. Remember that one? Like hockey, nobody really missed the NBA when it was gone, but that didn't stop the players from putting together a Pay-Per-View game in Atlantic C...
Three Easy Jokes We Apologize For In Advance
Joe Bryant To Coach In Japan [Reuters]...
Congress Notices Nose on Face And The Sky (Occassionally)
Ha. We can't believe we missed this. In addition to the five "major" sport commissioners and various labor heads testifying before Congress, the Greatest Legislators and Orators of Our Time has also called ... Washington Wizards guard Juan Dixon....
Pujols Resists Temptation To Kill Fan
Here's a perfect example of how powerful ESPN is. Last night, Albert Pujols, while chasing a foul ball down the first base line, was grasped by a drunken Philadelphia fan in the front row. Pujols kept his cool, glowering at and lecturing the man before giving the ball to a kid next to him, becaus...
Those Who Still Remember Hockey To Meet Again
Apparently, the NHL actually intends on playing again. But when? And where? And who cares? Anyway, TSN of Canada, whose reporters have presumably been in Aruba for a few months, says players and league officials will be meeting all day today to try to figure out how they will split the 40 bucks i...
Exercises In Immolation
We're going to try something today that pretty much proves definitively that we don't like ourselves very much. At 10 a.m., Congress is having yet another Session On Steroids. Instead of just baseball being under the hot lights of elderly Southern men's inquiries, the commissioners of all five "m...
About Last Night ...
What You Missed While Fishing The Remote Out Of The Koi Pond ... Pistons Go Up 3-2 Against Pacers. Scoring 67 points in the first half, Indiana went on to ... wait ... 67 points for the game? The fat fan who tried to slug Ron Artest suits up for Pacers in Game 6. Yankees Win 10th Straight. Jason Gia...
Rodman Still Alive. Seriously. He Really Is.
Buried in a news-and-notes column in last Tuesday's Chicago Tribune was this little gem: Dennis Rodman is writing another book. This one is called "The Worm Returns," and details the two years since Rodman quit drinking (which is just a waste, really). We're sorry we just posted about Dennis Rodman;...