Congressional Steroids Diary: The First Hour

10:10 a.m.: Representative Cliff Stearns (R-Fla.) says that sports values performance more than character. No!

10:26 a.m.: Representative Bobby Rush (D-Ill.) points out that the suspensions so far have been weighted toward African Americans and Latinos. Oh, shush you! We re trying to conduct a witch hunt here!

10:59 a.m.: MLS Commissioner Don Garber takes the mike. First statement: We created a league for a new America. Yeah, an America that actually likes soccer.

11:06 a.m.: Ha. The head of the MLS players union just got the mike and ESPN News broke to commercial. What does the MLS need a freaking union for anyway? He closes with, "Let me take this opportunity to invite you to a game." Please! Somebody!