Congressional Steroids Diary: My God, There's More Hearing Tomorrow

1:28 p.m.: Sonny Bono s widow is telling Donald Fehr a story about a high school student she knows who was so strong that he pulled his finger off while swinging a bat. That actually just occurred, right? Might have been a mass hallucination.

1:33 p.m.: They re taking another hour break to, you know, actually go vote on something. They ll be back in an hour with David Stern, who s gonna use some Jedi mind shit on em, we just know it.

2:53 p.m.: David Stern is here! It s impossible not to love Stern. He actually looks bored. It s like it was all he could do to rouse himself from Secaucus for an afternoon. He has the same expression he likely has when he orders toast.

3:03 p.m.: Every time a Congressman asks about an NBA player being tested, we always just assume they re talking about marijuana. That s pretty natural, we d think. NBA union chief Billy Hunter is entirely overmatched, by the way. Like Muggsy guarding Shaq.