dadspin Page 5 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Down With America's Kid-Competition Complex
I was at a parent's night at my kid's school a couple of years ago—one of those things where you go to the school at night to meet the kid's teacher and eat a cookie and listen as the teacher tells you all the shit they do in class every day, and then you nod your head in approval. "Ah, yes. MUSIC...
The World Cup Is Your Kid’s Last Hope
I have three kids, and I have resigned myself to the fact that they will never be sports fans in the way that I am a sports fan. They'll never waste time perusing box scores in the newspaper because newspapers are old and dead. They'll never pledge loyalty to one local team because they have fantasy...
“Wheels On The Bus” On YouTube: A Distressed Father’s Guide
So my firstborn son is obsessed with "Wheels on the Bus," and will sing it at the slightest provocation, or with no provocation at all, really. He's three ("a young three," as noted by now multiple polite but clearly frazzled instructors at toddler-activity sessions he's disrupted by, for example, f...
An Ode To Sleeping Children
I had to look after all three of my kids by myself this weekend, and when you are alone with children for that long, you are so put-upon that your memory stops working. I can't even recall what happened over those three days, because my brain went into Safe Mode and was like, NOPE. I'M NOT STORING...
37 Things Mothers Do Not Like
Hey guys, Mother's Day is coming! Don't bother with a present. All she wants is a card, and for you to avoid the following things:...
Why Rich Lacrosse Parents Are Making Their Kids Repeat A Grade
In the lax-crazy scholastic sports scene of the high-end Washington D.C. market, a game between Landon School and Georgetown Prep is essentially 'Skins vs. Cowboys, except with more people named Topper. They're two of the fancy-pantsiest all-boys secondary schools in the area, and their athletic riv...
Can You Predict If Your Kid Will Throw Left-Handed?
I'm at that age where my buddies from college are starting to sign their kids up for Little League. They'll differ in degree and in approach to helicopter coaching and buying up extravagant, miniaturized baseball equipment, but there's one thing they'll all agree on: They hope their kid's a lefty. ...
Eight Reasons Never To Go On Spring Break With Children
Just let go. That was the slogan of the hotel we were staying at for Spring Break, and it was a solid slogan. After all, this was a family resort, and at family resorts, parents often need to be reminded to ease up, take the sticks out of their asses, and TRY to enjoy themselves, if only to then f...
Why Paternity Leave Is Important, Even Though You’ll Hate It
Every few years, there's a big Hot Sports Take orgy because a pro athlete decided to skip a game for a birth and/or paternity leave. This year, it was Daniel Murphy's turn in the barrel, getting dumped on by Boomer Esiason and Mike Francesa after skipping two games after his kid was born. Esiason h...
Why Are Screens Better Than Real Life?
I have three children, and left unsupervised, they will stare at screens until their eyeballs liquefy and seep into the carpet. And so, I spend every single day of my existence wringing my hands over how much screen time is too much screen time for these people. Sometimes I set a timer. Sometimes ...
Let's Try Chips Ahoy! Ice Cream Creations, A Dessert-Flavored Dessert
Remember ice cream? Oh man, ice cream. There are so many wonderful things to remember about ice cream, but first and foremost—more than the carnival of flavors and colors; the various zany, luxurious toppings and swirls; the fun presentations (Sundae! Banana split! Ice cream cone! Ice cream cak...
The Dadspin Guide To The American Snow Day
It's snowing. Again. I live in an area where the arrival of half a snowflake results in the absolute cessation of all business and public transport and hospital respirators, so school is closed. For the 90th fucking time. At this rate, my children will learn to read sometime around 2085....
Down With Big Birthday
I have two kids with birthdays coming up and as much as I would like to sidestep the Birthday-Industrial Complex, it's no easy task. There are two levels of peer pressure in the birthday universe: the peer pressure exerted on your children (not that I really care about that) and the social pressure...
Here's Another Insane Christmas Wish List
After our own Drew Magary shared his daughter's crazy-ass Christmas wish list with the world, we received many other lists from parents around the country who also have, uh, imaginative kids. Here's another one, and it's a doozy:...
A Treasury Of Children's Insane Christmas Wish Lists
After I posted my kid's goofy Christmas wish list on Wednesday, we asked you readers to send in some of your own. You were not a disappointment to us. One guy's kid sent in the entire contents of the toy section at Target. Another reader's kid had a list that included a diagram (its instructions and...
Send Us Your Child's Insane Wish List
After today's breakdown of my kid's wish list, reader Jason sent in this gem:...
My Kid's Insane Christmas Wish List, Annotated
When I was a kid, I would dream up completely insane presents to put on my Christmas wish list—shit that no parent could ever possibly afford and no child could ever possibly deserve. And every year, my parents would tell me before Christmas that I would NOT be getting the little race car I saw on ...
Why Your Children's Television Program Sucks: <em>Jessie</em>
A look at the awful children’s programming you’re forced to endure before you can finally kick the kids out of the TV room to watch sports for eight hours. Image by Jim Cooke....
