dc Page 161 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Looking Good, Sean Miller
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Congratulations To Grayson Allen, Ted Cruz, And Colin Mochrie On Their Win Over UNC-Wilmington
It took some effort, but the Duke Blue Devils dispatched UNC-Wilmington in the first of today’s 16 NCAA tournament games. Grayson Allen, Ted Cruz, and Colin Mochrie await their next-round opponent....

The Hater’s Guide To March Madness 2016
It’s that time of year again … time to say rotten, hateful things about every team in the NCAA tournament bracket. And what a bunch of shitty, corrupt teams they are! I don’t think there’s ever been a tournament featuring so many schools that are in the middle of horrifying scandals: Yale, Cal, Oreg...

Stanford's Rose Bowl Ring Is Dumb As Hell
Hey, want to see the ring the Stanford football players just received for winning the 2016 Rose Bowl?...

Insane Soccer Fans In The Congo Rush The Field, Stomp Out Referee
In case you were wondering if the kind of senseless violence against referees so commonly seen in South American and lower-level European soccer has also infiltrated the game in Africa, this video of a Congolese ref getting brutally beaten by fans for no apparent reason should resolve your curiosity...

LeBron Rocks The Rim With Alley-Oop From J.R. Smith
LeBron James levitated himself to grab this dish from J.R. Smith and throw down an alley-oop early in the Cavs’ battle against the Jazz in Salt Lake City. We give King James plenty of deserved crap around here, but this was a pretty impressive feat—one punctuated by the ESPN Deportes announcing team...

LeBron James Would Have Willingly Switched Positions If Joe Johnson Signed With The Cavs
While the Golden State Warriors try to achieve the best regular season in NBA history, LeBron James is in a weird place. He wants a championship with the Cleveland Cavaliers so badly, and it’s consuming him to the point where he’s sending abstruse tweets about success and pulling your weight. When t...

Did The Warriors Break LeBron James?
The Cleveland Cavaliers aren’t winning the NBA title this season. You know it, I know it, and somewhere deep down, Cavs forward and baldness cure test subject LeBron James has to know it, too. He has to know that he’s only got a few more years left in him, and those years are likely to be spent watc...

The Cavs Got Beat By Something Resembling The Memphis Grizzlies
If the Cavaliers were sending cryptic tweets before losing to a Memphis Grizzlies team missing most of the players you’ve heard of, I can’t even imagine what they’re going to send out tonight....

The Caucasian's Guide To Talking About Race
A few months ago, I was honored to be invited to the October Secret Global White People Meeting to speak to their constituents about wearing blackface on Halloween. Apparently, I made such an impact that they recently requested a return engagement to address a less holiday-oriented topic. The follow...

Hmmmmmm. LeBron James And Kyrie Irving Sent Some Cryptic Tweets. Hmmmmmmm.
The Cleveland Cavaliers beat the Boston Celtics 120-103 on Saturday, and one would assume that such a victory would have put everyone in the locker room in a good mood. Maybe it did, but it also put LeBron James and Kyrie Irving in the mood to do some subtweeting....

LeBron, You Okay, Bud?
LeBron James might be going through some shit right now....

Should The U.S. Boycott The Rio Olympics?
Oh, hey, looks like Olympic organizers in Rio won’t be able to clear the water of raw sewage in time for this summer’s Olympics. How much danger does poop water present to our athletes, and should we consider, you know, NOT making them compete in poop water by boycotting the whole thing? That’s just...

Washington, D.C. Makes Sure No Billionaire Sports Team Owner Is Left Behind
On February 18, construction crews began knocking down sections of St. Elizabeth’s, the Washington, D.C. psychiatric hospital famous for having housed, among others, John Hinckley, Josh Gibson. and the Shotgun Stalker. Mayor Muriel Bowser got in an excavator to kick off the demolition of Buildings #...

Here Come The Rosters And Jerseys For The World Cup Of Hockey
The World Cup of Hockey, which will see eight national (sort of) teams face off in Toronto in September for a tournament that should be heavy on NHLers, excitement, and totally acceptable obnoxious jingoism. (Fuck you, Canada! Your exchange rates are currently unfavorable for you!)...

Julian Büscher's First Professional Goal Is A Long-Range Doozy
DC United just got knocked out of the quarterfinals of the CONCACAF Champions League, 3-1 on aggregate by Mexican side Querétaro. At least their lone goal—scored by German rookie Julian Büscher, in his second ever match for the club—was an absolute beauty, as Buescher smacked in a fishtailing rocket...

Good Job, Good Effort
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Here's Stephen Curry's Miracle Game-Winner As Called In Spanish And In Russian
Stephen Curry’s multiple-record-breaking series of three pointers tonight against the Thunder sent the Warriors out of Oklahoma City with a win they had absolutely no business taking. None of the threes were more mindblowing, of course, than the last-second-of-overtime long-range bomb that earned th...