dc Page 164 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Stoke City Fans Recognize Bald Opponent On Train, Chant About How He Looks Like A Thumb
This guy up top here is Doncaster Rovers midfielder Richard Chaplow. He came on as a substitute in yesterday’s FA Cup loss against Stoke City, then, at some point, took a train somewhere. He was recognized—probably due to that gleaming dome he’s been sporting since a bout of glandular fever as a kid...
Alabama's Jimmie Taylor Discovers New Way To Box Out
Kentucky won today’s SEC basketball battle in Tuscaloosa today 77-61, but it was the Crimson Tide that contributed to the college basketball corpus of literature as forward Jimmie Taylor introduced a new way of boxing out defenders to secure the offensive rebound. Despite this innovation, Taylor was...
Rose Bowl Officials Condemn Stanford Band For Mocking Iowa During Halftime Show
The Stanford Marching Band—a performatively quirky group of college musicians currently banned from road games for “sexual hazing”—is continuing its truly remarkable run of pissing everyone off. They got to go to the Rose Bowl because it was a neutral site game, and they commemorated their trip by t...
Bryce Alford's Step-Back Three Downs #7 Arizona
UCLA junior guard Bryce Alford hit a tough three-pointer with 1.8 seconds left to help UCLA beat #7 Arizona 87-84, pleasing a fan sitting courtside with ripped jeans....
Court Docs: MLS Coach Spanked Players, Called Concussed Players Pussies And More
In 2012, the Philadelphia Union fired then-coach Peter Nowak. The ongoing legal battle over that firing has made public the disturbing allegations that got Nowak canned. They include Nowak spanking rookie players, sometimes with a sandal, to the point where it hurt his own hand; belittling concussio...
Is The Hall Of Fame Screwing Over Curt Schilling For His Hot Facebook Memes?
Curt Schilling is many things—a bloviator, a dummy, a bad Facebook person, a hilariously incompetent businessman—but I think the one thing we can all agree on is that, whatever his faults, the man could pitch his ass off and deserves to be in the Baseball Hall of Fame. Ah, but at present he is NOT. ...
How Are You Supposed To Fire Coaches These Days?
The San Francisco 49ers fired head coach Jim Tomsula yesterday, a couple of hours after wrapping up a 5-11 season. His players found out about the firing in a text from owner Jed York. ...
Shitty Cricket Man Harasses Female Sideline Reporter
Melbourne Renegades batsman Chris Gayle decided to act like a butthole when sideline reporter Mel McLaughlin attempted to interview him during a game against the Melbourne Stars. Gayle came at McLaughlin with all kinds of cringe-worthy come-ons, and clearly made her very uncomfortable....
Thad Matta Does Best Stanford Shithead Impression
Somebody must have told Thad Matta about the Stanford shithead who won’t shut up, because the Ohio State head coach popped up behind forward Marc Loving during his Big Ten Network post-game interview tonight to shout out “HEISMAN!” a few times. It’s humorous, but you should really see the time he re...
"What In The World Just Happened There!?" Maryland & Northwestern Combine For Wild Sequence
Northwestern is sporting its best men’s basketball team in years—maybe ever, given that the Wildcats have never, ever made the NCAA tournament—and Maryland’s fourth-ranked Terrapins are in Evanston tonight looking to darken those bright Chicago skies (heh, heh)....
Shut Up, Shithead
Get a load of this Stanford shithead who won’t shut up while ESPN tries to interview Christian McCaffrey, who basically singlehandedly won the Rose Bowl. This clown is relentless. He’s also now become a meme:...
Christian McCaffrey Goes 75 Yards On Rose Bowl's First Play [UPDATE: And He's Added A Punt Return TD]
Christian McCaffrey proved himself to be college football’s most versatile player this season, and the Stanford star continued his reign by catching a Kevin Hogan pass and finding the end zone 75 yards away on the Rose Bowl’s first play. Here’s how it sounded on Russian television:...
John Wall Is Pretty Grumpy About Kyrie Irving Leading Him In All-Star Votes
All-star fan voting almost never results in an accurate representation of the most worthy players. Kobe Bryant is leading all NBA players in voting this season despite shooting 34% and NHLer John Scott had the most votes of all hockey players before he was released by the Coyotes. Kyrie Irving is sl...
Kristaps Porzingis Got The Hell Out Of LeBron's Way
Kristaps Porzingis still has a lot to learn in this league, but he’s got one of the more important aspects of self-preservation down pat: when LeBron James has a head of steam, make sure you’re not in his path....
Great Gift Ideas For Children You Despise
I bet you know some bad kids. Not your kids. Your kids are lovely, imaginative, super-athletic, and smart as a whip. I’m talking about your step-sister’s kids and your boss’s kids and the kids on your son’s soccer team and those kids who always end up hurting someone at the neighborhood block partie...
911 Operator Walks Iman Shumpert Through His Daughter's Birth
Last week, we were treated to the story of Cavaliers swingman Iman Shumpert channeling MacGyver in order to help his wife, Teyana Taylor, give birth to their daughter in the bathroom. Thanks to the Daily Mail, we now have audio of a 911 operator walking Shumpert through the process....
How Not To Run A Fake Field Goal
The New Mexico Bowl, one of the more mediocre matchups out of approximately one million mediocre bowl matchups this year, is on and popping. Arizona has New Mexico and the winner presumably gets expanded water rights on a tributary of the Colorado River or something. Anyway, New Mexico tried to go f...
Goku Doppelgänger Ivan Rakitić Is A Big Hit In Japan
Barcelona are currently in Japan for the Club World Cup, and though the locals had to be disappointed that neither Lionel Messi or Neymar were fit enough to make an appearance in the team’s first game, they discovered a new favorite player thanks to Ivan Rakitić’s halfway resemblance to Dragon Ball ...
What Was The Shittiest Take Of The Year?
It was quite the year for shitty takes, my friends. Remember Bud Poliquin? And the Titans mom? And Jason Whitlock’s entire oeuvre? Oh, what a time we had with all those takes. But there were three shitty takes that sunk below all the others … takes that buried themselves deep into the mantle of the ...