dc Page 238 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
How To Make Mashed Cauliflower, Because It Goddamn Tastes Great
The first thing to do is clear up any misconceptions that the reason to make mashed cauliflower, and not mashed potatoes, is that mashed cauliflower is the more calorically or nutritionally upstanding choice. If that is what you are thinking, stop thinking that, because that is stupid. You're stup...
Mexico Keeps World Cup Dreams Alive With Spectacular Bicycle Kick
This, from Mexico's Raúl Jiménez, came in the 85th minute, four minutes after Panama had just equalized and bummed all of Mexico out. Jimenez brought them all back to life with a bicycle kick laser that left Panama goalkeeper Jaime Penedo rooted to his spot. Look at him. Either it's going wide or, ...
With The World Cup Clinched, USMNT Players Must Now Fight For Spots
The United States men's national team is take on Jamaica this evening in what is, thankfully, a somewhat meaningless World Cup qualifying match. That's because the Americans already whooped Mexico, as well as everyone else in CONCACAF, to clinch a spot in next year's tournament in Brazil. So what's ...
Simone Biles Vs. The Racists: Are Black Gymnasts The New Black QBs?
Last week in Belgium Simone Biles made history by becoming the first woman of color to win an all-around title at the world championships, just a year after Gabby Douglas took the top spot at the Olympic Games....
English Soccer Is Dead, And It Deserves To Be
World Cup qualifying runs this week, and a lot of what's going on involves glorified exhibition play. Continental giants like the Netherlands and Italy are booked for Brazil, as is our great nation; other teams of interest, like Germany, Spain, Portugal, and France are more or less box-checking. The...
The Year In Hawk Harrelson Being Awful
First, start playing this video put together by Awful Announcing, containing nearly 10 minutes of baseball's biggest homer being audibly sad and frustrated when things don't go the White Sox's way. Then leave it on in the background and go read the best thing you'll see all day....
D-Backs GM Kevin Towers Is Mad At His Team About The Dumbest Thing
The Arizona Diamondbacks did not have the best season, finishing with an 81-81 record, and that disappointment seems to have filled general manager Kevin Towers with impotent rage. But Towers isn't upset about his players not performing well enough to get his team into the playoffs. No, he's angry b...
Jarrett Jack With A Beautiful Behind-The-Back Assist
Basketball is coming. ...
There's almost no way the USMNT can earn a top seed at the World Cup: The top eight seeds for Brazil will be decided by this month's FIFA rankings, where the U.S. currently sit 13th. Even if they win both matches this week, moving into the top seven (host Brazil are automatically in) would require s...
Harry Potter's Fantasy Football Team Is Named "Barkevious Mingo's Mum"
The New York Times Magazine cover story this weekend was about Daniel Radcliffe, better known simply as the boy who played Harry Potter. It's an interesting read if you like learning about celebrities who seem pretty grounded and only just a little bit tortured by fame. You learn that Radcliffe is h...
Ohio State Blocking A Northwestern Punt, In Extreme Slow Motion
We're not entirely sure how, but as of this writing Ohio State's only put up one touchdown tonight—and they got it on a punt block that exhibited such dominance you wonder how they're losing to Northwestern....
Paul Rhoads Goes On Rant For The Ages After Officials Screw ISU
Iowa State coach Paul Rhoads, already on the hot seat after losing the Cyclones' opening game to Northern Iowa of the FCS, had a right to be upset with officials after tonight's game against Texas, a 31-30 Longhorns win....
Chad Curtis Gets 7 To 15 Years For Sexual Abuse Of Teenage Girls
Former MLB outfielder Chad Curtis, convicted in August of six counts of criminal sexual conduct against three teenage girls, was sentenced today by a judge in Barry County, Mich., to seven to 15 years in prison....
Greg Schiano Really Is As Big An Asshole As You Imagine Him To Be
The sun came up today, and that means that the garbage fire that is the 2013 Tampa Bay Buccaneers got even hotter and more garbage-y. What's new today? Allow The MMQB's Andrew Brandt to tell you about "Schiano Men."...
Watch UMass Football Players Beat Each Other Up In Team-Building Drill
Last week, the Daily Hampshire Gazette posted a video shot during a UMass offseason session in 2012 that features a bunch of football players beating the shit out of each other. Or, as UMass coach Charley Molar would later describe it, a "team-building" exercise that instills "mental toughness." ...
The Rangers Win, And We're Getting Game 163
Coming into today, the last of the MLB season, three AL teams—the Rangers, Rays, and Indians—were vying for the two remaining playoff spots. Thanks to a late rally by the Rangers, that fight isn't yet finished, and the Rangers and Rays are set to play game 163....
More Details About World Cup Host Qatar's Humanitarian Crisis
Yesterday, our attention was turned to the horrendous living and working conditions of Qatar's working class, a migrant population that will be responsible for building the infrastructure necessary for Qatar to host the 2022 World Cup. Today, an investigation by the Guardian paints an even clearer a...
