dea Page 382 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

RIP Clarence Clemons
"Clarence Clemons, the saxophonist in Bruce Springsteen's E Street Band, whose jovial onstage manner, soul-rooted style and brotherly relationship with Mr. Springsteen made him one of rock's most beloved sidemen, died Saturday at a hospital in Palm Beach, Fla. He was 69." [New York Times]...

Watch The Marlins Catcher Successfully Throw The Ball At Shane Victorino's Head
Your morning roundup for June 18, the day "propaganda vans touted the importance of stability" in the Jeans Capital of China. (Video H/T, Jimmy Greek)...

What’s It Like To Be Aggressively Licked?
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

"Nate McMillan?" Said The NBA Prospect. "What College Is That?"
Your morning roundup for June 17, the day we got educated about obnoxiously-educated NYU students. Video of Blazers prospect at a Blazers workout not knowing who the Blazers coach is via Eye On Basketball....

Help Identify Vancouver's Hardened Thugs Like This Guy (UPDATE)
After the public embarrassment comes the public shaming. Enterprising Vancouverites have set up a page where you can upload your photos of last night's troublemakers, and more importantly, identify any that you recognize. VPD will announce later today how to narc out these assholes (and we'll update...

A Terrible Beauty Is Born
Your morning roundup for June 16. Happy Comp-Lit-Major Christmas, everyone! Amazing photo via Getty Images....

The Boob-Showcasing Ukulele Girl Said She'd Return With An Encore If She Got 50K Hits, So Return She Has
When Sarah K. first solicited your assistance back in April, it was in an effort to win $10,000 from some freakish marketing contest in New Zealand. Something called Hitachi, or something....

Clint Dempsey Will Not Be Composing A Rap Song About This Moment
Your morning roundup for June 15, the day America finally got what it needed: more Fran Drescher....

Holding Farts In And You!
Yesterday, I took my wife's clothes to the dry cleaners, an errand I ran for her without her asking me to do so. And when I do something benevolent like that, I expect full credit and reams of endless praise for being so considerate. So I came home and left the dry cleaning ticket right out in the o...

Far Too Late, Roberto Luongo Realized Depth Perception Was Important To Goalies
Your morning roundup for June 14, the day we wished our father didn't love old comedians. (Thanks to Andy for the screengrab.)...

Here's Finals MVP Dirk Nowitzki Das Booting An $80K Bottle Of Champagne
Your morning roundup for June 13, the day some variation of "flippin'" made Sarah Palin's email word cloud. Dirk drinking photo via @skindoeshoops....

There Is A New World's Shortest Man; Say Hi To 23.6-Inch Junrey, Everybody
This is an 18 year-old. We have to admit that we're a little baffled. He's from the Philippines, too, so you know it's only a matter of time before he fights Manny Pacquiao on national television while literally everyone in the nation watches....

This Is How Panama Thanks Us For The Canal
Your morning roundup for June 12, the day we made out with Mary-Kate....

Tired Of Horse Racing? Consider Cow Cycling
This comes to us from France's Critérium du Dauphiné, one of this month's warm-ups for the Tour de France. There are a lot of climbs in the course, and, well, these cows saw one that looked like fun and figured they'd join in. Could they beat the horses that ran in the Belmont? Shittier horses? Wh...

The People Of Vancouver May Not Realize The Canucks Need To Win Another Game
Your morning roundup for June 11, the day we realized, to paraphrase David Foster Wallace, that J.J. Abrams, director of Super 8 must surely have been ignorant of the meaning of "suppurate." Video via @ctvbc....

Great Moments In Horrible Sexual Faux Pas
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Yankee Fans, Forever Alone
Your morning roundup for June 10, the day we went swimsuit shopping. Image via Scott....

Why Men Send Dong Shots To People
We've all had a good laugh about Anthony Weiner using his Twitter account to show the world that white Congressmen can have surprisingly decent-sized cocks. And we here at Deadspin have gotten a great deal of mileage out of men who, in fit of passion, decided to take pictures of their dicks and send...

Tim Thomas Will Fight Every One Of You Canadian Bastards If He Has To
Your morning roundup for June 9, the day we thanked our lucky stars we weren't hitting coaches....

Ohio Police Capture Drunken Local Werewolf
People of the greater Cleveland area, we get it. You miss LeBron and you're upset that he might win a championship. Noted. But that's no excuse to let wolfmen roam free. This young 20 year-old wolfman is likely especially spry, and he claims to have a military background. If you've ever played disco...