dea Page 414 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Milwaukee Fans Are, Surprise Surprise, Drunk And Disorderly
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Screw You And Your Out Of Office Autoreply
I was on a late flight home last week with my two kids. Our flight was delayed by 90 minutes for a "chemical problem," which I'm certain was airline codespeak for, "the pilot has gotten drunk and wet himself." Anyway, the plane got to the front of the runway, was prepared to take off, and then turne...

Today Is Not The Deadspin Five-Year Anniversary
But Wednesday is. Yes, Will Leitch launched the site on Sept. 8, 2005. Either way, we'll be posting Deadspin "classic" stories all week to commemorate the event....

In The Navy, You Can Berate Your Fellow Man
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Two Pop Queens <3 Notre Dame. Great.
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Comedian Robert Schimmel Ponders the Kobe "Rape," Rips Total Gym Roid Freaks and Dies
In particular order ......

Manny to Boston, Youk: Lo Siento Mucho, Bros
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Don't Forget To Cast Your Deadspin Hall Of Fame Votes
The voting, as it stands: 61% for Athlete Dong, 78% for Salisbury, 50% for Nightmare Ant, 61% for Whitlock, and 91% for Mariotti. Only about 83 hours left to spam yes votes for Nightmare Ant and all the others. Vote now!...

Deadspin HOF Nominee: Jay Mariotti
Before the last fortnight happened, Jay Mariotti would have been a serious contender for the Deadspin Hall of Fame. Now that it has ... well, frankly, I'm a little surprised he's not in the HOF already....

My Name Is Hurricane Earl
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The Boring Bag! Your Temporary Fun Bag Replacement
While the Funbag is away, we still play, albeit dully. Time for The Boring Bag!...

Deadspin HOF Nominee: Jason Whitlock
Some people find Jason Whitlock provocative and daring. Some find him a lazy, unhinged boor who pretends sportswriting is some sort of professional wrestling/UFC roleplaying game, with Twitter as his personal version of the octagon. Which are you?...

Another Strongman Named Tito Emerges, This One Half-Naked
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Deadspin HOF Nominee: Nightmare Ant
After a two-year hiatus from our Hall of Fame nominating rolls, Nightmare Ant has returned. But really, Nightmare Ant will never really go away. Hell, Christopher Nolan just made a movie about him....

Nothing's More Metal Than A Nice Pinot Grigio
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Introducing Your Temporary Funbag Replacement: The Boring Bag
Drew's on vacation, but it's Tuesday and we need a mailbag. So instead of a Funbag, how about a Boring Bag? Today's topics: sidewalks, yawn-inducing numbers, a fish that is fast, and so much more....

TRANSFER FUCKING DEADLINE
Sigh. Right, you know the drill. Expect desolate shots of training ground gates, some unlucky chump standing in the pissing rain bringing you literally no news, and congregations of unemployed celebrating transfer coups....

Early Winner For Deserved Maiming Of The Year Award
A high school student is suing his teacher and the city after he nearly electrocuted himself after hooking his nipples up to electrical clamps in shop class. Also, D batteries are not butt plugs. [AP]...

Cut Loose: A Montage Of Movie Dancing
Sure this video starts off as a montage of people opening and closing doors, but by the time it's over, you've seen one of the better tributes to cinematic two-stepping. Enjoy. [Kottke, via Skeets]...

DeAngelo Hall Really Really Wanted A Hot Dog
The Redskins cornerback was a little hungry during his last preseason game against the Jets. So much so that he asked a fan to make a food run for him....