dea Page 424 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Cockblocked by Barry Zito. GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Potential Vandals Beware: There Are Witnesses
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Great Moments In Wounded Rabbit Mercy Killing
Let's get right to your letters. We're in for a cocksuckin' good time today, cocksuckers....

Story On Dean Smith's Failing Health May Give You Some Dust In Your Eye
"People close to the coach say his famous memory is slipping. On some days he doesn't recognize people he has known for years." [Fayetteville Observer]...

Forget About LeBronukkah With This Mindblowing Stop-Motion History Of Evolution
Here's a video by street artist Blu, who paints our evolutionary history on various surfaces and records it all with some fine stop-motion animatin'. It features a prokaryote doing a one-hour special called "The Decision." [CultureLab]...

Old Photos From Hulk Hogan's Son's Birthday Party Surface, Depicting Mock Combat, Power Maneuvers, Jorts
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For July 7
The final game—and shameful, shameful third-place game—is set. But before we get to the prognosticating, let's look at today's, um, goal, scored to music in a culturally benighted manner. Tune: Kid Frost....

Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For July 6
Before today's big game, let's look back on yesterday's action, and let's be really culturally insensitive while we're at it. Enjoy....

One Middle Finger For Each Star Headed To The Heat
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Paraguay Cellphone-Boobs Girl Says She's Received Creepy Death Threat. Or Something. (Update)
Larissa Riquelme — aka Paraguay Girl, aka Cellphone-Boobs Girl — has taken to Facebook to alert everyone that she is being threatened! Possibly! The Google-translated message after the jump....

The Mystery Of The Touch-Free Orgasm
Big funbag today. Right to your letters....

Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup, July 2-3
Before our first semifinal match today, let's look back on the weekend's action with all the goals scored to music that might offend the more culturally sensitive among you. Enjoy....

It Was The Best Of Mullets, It Was The Worst Of Mullets
The nation of Iran has officially made mullets illegal. But if you've got one, you got $5 off at the Pittsburgh Zoo yesterday! This being said, there's never a good time to be in Iran or Pittsburgh....

Angry Sheep Still Trampling Our Nation's Children
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Bob Probert, Dead At 45
Probert, NHL enforcer extraordinaire, was pronounced dead after collapsing on a boat near his hometown of Windsor, Ontario. Tie Domi and Stu Grimson sleep a little sounder tonight....

Brian Burke Honors Late Son By Marching In Pride Parade
Eight months after his son came out publicly, and five months after his death, Brian Burke marched in yesterday's Toronto Pride Parade. Awesome....

What's More American Than A Football-Playing Predator?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Deadspin Classic: Watch Artie Lange Crap All Over Joe Buck's First Show
The Fourth of July is all about bright, nighttime explosions, and today we give you Artie Lange exploding all over the debut of Joe Buck's short-lived show, The Nepotism and Dick Joke Variety Hour....

Deadspin Classic: A Children's Treasury Of Men Getting Blasted In The Face With Champagne
We at Deadspin research spent a solid day compiling these photos, and hardly any of you stopped to admire our work the first time around. So you know what? Here they are again, like a cold blast of liquid to the face....

Deadspin Classic: A Comprehensive Ranking Of The Products Inside A Good Humor Truck
I scream! You scream! We all scream for profane and comprehensive reviews of chilled desserts! Sample: "Get fucked, Dippin Dots."...