deadspin Page 349 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

It's Never Good When The MLS Has The Best Week
explains Beckham to us much better than we did to the world. • Careful of what cars you steal. • One more time: Gay Yankees. • We live blogged a guy talking into a microphone. • Stop the ESPN Motion. • Matt Leinart says he's a great dad, and even remembers his kid's name. • Our NFL Season Previews b...

Can't Sleep, Clown Will Eat Us
In honor of "The Simpsons Movie" coming out today, we're not even gonna try to bother with a movie quote today. Instead, we just invite everybody to give their own....

Please Consult Your Employee Handbook
• The memo that changed our lives. The part where Skipper explains what a leader is, that's still our favorite one. • Tommy Morrison loves black people. • Kill the ref! No, seriously, they might kill him. • Fight, children, fight. • Joe Torre is a racist, don't ya know. • We are not going to Fire Is...

Make Like A Tree And Get Out Of Here
Last night, Darth Vader came down from planet Vulcan and told us that if we didn't take Lorraine out that he'd melt my brain....

Dog Days Of All-Star Week
• What a dull week. • Not a happy time at Dan Shaughnessy's Amazon page. • Everywhere you look, there is Spike The Super Ball. • Kige Ramsey makes the world a better place. • Have a Coke and smile. • Jared Allen, signing things that aren't fun to have signed. • We hear Simmons is definitely doing an...

You Don't Go To Work Every Day; You Go To A Bar Every Day
That's why we drink it straight. The ice cubes are too heavy....


To Watch Tonight
• 7 p.m. — Arena Football Playoffs: Philadelphia Soul at Georgia Force. You can't force soul on people. It has to come naturally. [ESPN2] • 8 p.m. — MLB: Atlanta Braves at San Diego Padres. Greg Maddux pitching against his former team, making for a riveting storyline three years ago. [ESPN] • 8 p.m....

If You Were A Veggie Hot Dog, Would It Be OK To Eat Yourself?
• God, the hot dog eating championships are fun. • John Patterson, get thee to Canada. Don't tell Spencer Hawes! • 45 seconds ... starting NOW. • Cursing at Yankee Stadium? Now we've seen EVERYTHING! • Dan LeBatard would like to keep Harold Reynolds away from his women. • MJD left us, but he is not ...

Everything We Touch Is Food For Our Hunger. Our Hunger For Power.
Sometimes even the wisest of man or machine can make an error....

Goodnight, Friends
I suspect that it will be surreal when I wake up next Saturday and have nothing to write. There's a good chance I won't know what to do with myself and I'll end up writing an 11,000 word essay on why I suspect that Ron Gardenhire suffers from erectile dysfunction....

Goodbye, MJD, Hello, Popular Redesign
• Our redesign went over like gangbusters, totally. We are working on it, promise. • God, we hate rain. • EIU wrestltng fever: CATCH IT. • Matt Geiger, pimp. • Pirate fan walkout? What Pirate fan walkout? • Goodbye, Rod Beck. • Dice-K rocks, sort of. • David Hirshey is not handling this Thierry Henr...

Come Join Us At The Philly Pants Party
After a bit of a delay, we have the details for the next Deadspin Pants Party, to be held in Philadelphia on Saturday, July 14. It's all official and stuff: You can buy your tickets right here. Game starts at 3:55. We will be there, as will the esteemed balls of A.J. Daulerio....

Who's the Next Steroid User to Murder Their Family?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....

The Biggest Thing In This Town Is Probably The Homecoming Queen
Sorry about the crowbar, kid. You'd be surprised how many people want to steal scrap. But, man, once we make it into art, we can't give it away. We mean, what are we? A junkman who makes art or an artist who sells junk? You tell us....

So, The First Day Went Well ...
So, day one of the redesign is behind us, and, safe to say, there are some concerns. As you surely noticed, we shared some of these concerns. Let's take a look at the major issues, and where we stand with them....

What The Hell's Going On With This Redesign?
As you surely notice looking around the site, there's some massive design changes going on. (You'll notice that it looks suspiciously similar to Gawker.) We're not exactly sure how this is all gonna work either, and we're working through it ourselves, but let's try to explain what's going on and the...

You Are Up For Adoption
As Will told you yesterday, Weekend Daddy no longer wants custody of you. I've got this weekend, and one more. I had planned to just surprise everyone with my last post, and throw up a full-frontal picture of Jeff Reed's genitalia, but I guess that's not necessary now. Of course, it seems like it's ...

Chris Berman Talked To Us About Exercise
• Chase that cheese! • We hope to someday start a crime fighting squad with Harold Reynolds. • Hello, Sen. Dodd! • We love Laurence Maroney. • The Pirates love "The Sopranos." • Yet another tough week for Pac Man Jones. • Robots, on camels. • Gonna Make You Sweat. • So close now, Rick. So close. • E...

Enjoy The Comedic Stylings Of Lenny DiNardo
Tonight, the summer of Pants Parties continues: We'll be hitting ole Shea Stadium for the A's-Mets showdown. DiNardo! Glavine! Eight dollar beers! Welcome to New York....