duan Page 177 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

And Here's One Of The People Who Helped Establish Bill Simmons
Count Courtney Cummz as one of those of Us who've had their life altered by the plucky wit and sporty wisdom of Sports Fella through the years. Yes, Courtney works in the adult entertainment industry. How could you tell? (NSFW)...

Desperate Redskins Fans Export Angry Sign Holding Jobs
Since Generalissimo Snyder has banned all forms of public expression with his eyesight, Washington fans who wished to mock him were forced to drive to Atlanta just to put bags over their head and look sad....

The End Of The Celebration
I promise, this is the last bit of Yankee fan homerism I'll be posting for a while. But I doubt many of you will complain about this one....

I Believe This Sums Up The Average Notre Dame Fan's Thoughts Quite Nicely
So, uh, Notre Dame lost to Navy today 23-21. The last time an unranked Navy team beat a ranked Notre Dame squad was 1936. The last time Navy beat the Fighting Irish twice in a row was 1961 and 1963....

Sammy Sosa Re-emerges As Shiny-Suited Latino Zombie
I have no idea what strange transformation Mr. Sosa is going through, but it's obvious that, yes, something is seriously messed up with Slammin' Sammy's pigmentation....

The Pop-Psychologizing Of Alex Rodriguez Will Never End
A-Rod finished the postseason with a .365/.500/.808 line. Apparently, this had nothing to do with his being a wonderful ballplayer and everything to do with personal transformation, moral courage and self-actualization. Meet your 2009 playoffs MVP: Freakin' Jonathan Livingston Seagull....

Important Baseball Game Not Involving The Red Sox Still Somehow All About The Red Sox
Shocking development, via Dan Shaughnessy: The ongoing longitudinal study of narcissistic personality disorder known as Red Sox Nation has somehow contrived to turn Game 6 of a Phillies-Yankees World Series into a drama centering on ... Red Sox Nation...

And Your FAILgate Winner Is...
The video you're wincing at right now was ganked by those fine folks for their brilliant "Most Offensive You Tube Video" idea. I implore you to watch the whole thing because right at the end, Tim Floyd comes into frame to calmly break up the mosh pit....

World Series Open Thread: It's Always Poultry In Philadelphia
We (most likely) bid farewell to the 2009 season with this absurd tableau of a gentleman in a chicken suit, a sad Tigger and a clutch of Citizens Bank Park security guards, beseeching them to kindly settle the fuck down....

Pitcher Known For Mustache Wins Mustache Award
In what other award ceremony will you hear the winning entry referred to as a "menacing mouth garden?"...

Why Is This Gal Not Wearing A Top At The Florida-Georgia Game?
Okay, it is possible that the young lady is wearing a tube top, but since I cannot be certain, I wholeheartedly approve it. Barely out of screen boobage! (Thanks to reader Kenny for the pic)...

Fight For Your Right To Fight
Interesting couple weeks around these parts. The distractions are so prevalent that it's easy to forget that, lo, your team is in the World Series....

World Series, Game Two: Can't Find A Better Yankee?
Pearl Jam is spending this week in residence at the Spectrum and conveniently offering "ring girl" updates for grungy Phillies fans who temporarily chose rock over baseball. Sell outs....

2009 World Series, Game One: It Begins
It's time to start the Greatest World Series Matchup Ever Imagined. Unless you hate the Yankees. Or the Phillies. Or Derek Jeter. Or if you're from Cleveland. But everyone else is going to love it....

Danny Snyder Doesn't Like Your Heartfelt Signage
Dan Steinberg found this in a trash can outside FedEx Field, where pretty much every form of human expression has been banned. It's clear: Dan Snyder is just a moustache and a pogrom or two short of being Joseph Stalin....

Searching For Jose Lima: Next Stop...Dominican Republic
Lost in all the chaos of last week was the news that our half-assed search for Jose Lima at the behest of his ex-wife Melissa, may have actually proved successful. Lima Time is currently taking place for the Águilas Cibaeñas...

Do You Believe In Omens?
If you do, I hope you're not a Yankee fan like me. Because the cracks are starting to show....

Just So You Know, John Madden Would Have Done This Too If He Only Knew How To Print
Rarely has a telestrator been utilized to articulate a message so clearly. It appears one enterprising broadcaster for Raycom felt the need to send a message to someone somewhere during the Georgia Tech-Virginia game. What was he trying to say?...

Mutton But The Truth
I can think of no better way to end this week than with a photo of a bootless child being maimed by a haughtily superior sheep as a rodeo clown tries vainly to help. Unpack this metaphor as you will....