ea Page 1132 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
A Reminder That Anthony Martial Is Still A Goddamn Child
It’s easy to lose sight of the fact that, notwithstanding his huge transfer fee and his multimillion-dollar salary and his formidable size and his surprisingly advanced game, underneath it all, Manchester United forward Anthony Martial is still just a kid....
Just What The Hell Is Going On With Vincent D'Onofrio's Accent In This Pelé Movie?
Pelé—once an inspirational global icon as the widely recognized greatest soccer player of all time, now a smiling leathery husk dragged around the world for the enrichment of his handlers and the brands they license him to—has a movie coming out about his early life. From what we’ve seen in the trai...
Some Things That Could Be But Hopefully Are Not #OceanMeat
So someone at Arby’s apparently couldn’t remember the word “fish.”...
I Want Some Of Those Sweet FIFA Bribes
It seems like everyone in FIFA’s orbit gets a bribe. Just today, it was revealed that the former president of Honduras took bribes while working for FIFA’s television and marketing committee, whatever the hell that is. There’s bribe money everywhere! And you know who is getting none of it? Me....
Sign Up For The Deadspin Newsletter So We Can Win A Pizza Party
You may have noticed this, but we have a newsletter now. Sign up for it here. It’s a win-win situation....
Let's Teach Ted Cruz Some Charisma
Politicians are in the business of persuasion, so it is always miraculous to see one succeed with an egregiously short supply of charm. It’s like the Hanukkah miracle, a menorah burning for eight days on a meager drop of oil; or, it’s like Ted Cruz conning his way onto the short list for our nation’...
Aww, Look At These Real Soccer Players Letting The Goalie Score For Once
This is quite remarkable. Not the goal itself—which West Ham’s Adrián scored in a meaningless testimonial match—but the impulse behind it....
A First-Person View Of A Cristiano Ronaldo Penalty Kick To The Face
Sarah Arcand had damned good seats for last week’s Real Madrid 4-0 win over Sevilla. A little too good. When Ronaldo sailed a penalty kick high, she managed to get her camera out of the way, but not her face....
3 Soccer Guys Try One-Upping Each Other With Horrible Gaffes; 2nd Guy Wins Easily
When you see why Quilmes’s Daniel Imperiale is all hunched over looking like he’s about to puke from embarrassment, you’ll understand how his display of complete ineptitude overshadowed the two blunders that sandwiched it. Who knew ten seconds was enough for three players in a row to shit themselves...
Deadspin Up All Night: A Scandal On The Front Page
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Catch you on the Night Shift....
Tall Basketball Guy Now Has To Quit, Find Another Occupation
Same goes for the little guy’s teammate for missing the shot after this spectacular-as-hell move....
Pro Cyclist Antoine Demoitié Dies After Getting Hit By Motorcycle During Race (UPDATE)
Twenty-five year old Belgian cyclist Antoine Demoitié was racing at Gent Wevelgem for Wanty-Groupe Gobert this morning, when he was hit by a race motorcycle after crashing. He was taken to the ICU at a nearby hospital in Lille, France, where his team announced that his condition was “extremely serio...
You Will Never Be As Good At Anything As Barcelona's 12-Year-Olds Are At Soccer
While the rest of the soccer world was getting injured on the international break, the little tots of Barcelona’s Alevin A squared off with their counterparts in Madrid for an incredibly entertaining Mini-Clasico. The Blaugranitas won 2-0 in the final of the Mediterranean International Cup, and prod...
The Hawks Stranded Jeff Teague At The Detroit Arena Last Night
The Hawks beat the Pistons last night, and Jeff Teague scored 12 points in the victory. This apparently wasn’t enough to get him his spot on the team bus, as they left without him and he had to call his sister to come and pick him up. At least he had a pizza?...
Five-Star Mississippi State Recruit Apologizes After Video Emerges Of Him Allegedly Beating A Woman
Mississippi State football signee Jeffery Simmons apologized in a Facebook post after video turned up that appears to show the five-star recruit attacking a woman....
Deadspin Up All Night: I'ma Bring You To Vegas
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Ride your bike....
Get A Load Of This Wondergoal Jamie Vardy Scored Against Germany
This right here is a real beauty. Nathaniel Clyne hit a perfect cross to Jamie Vardy, who did a little bit of magic to backheel it past a spinning Manuel Neuer without even looking at the damn goal. ...
Penn State Coach James Franklin Destroys Easter Bunny Piñata With Flying Tackle
Happy Easter everyone!...
Jurgen Klinsmann Blew It
The United States Men’s National Team will probably qualify for the 2018 World Cup in Russia. Yes, they are trailing Guatemala and Trinidad and Tobago in the Group C standings. Yes, they have played conservatively without the defensive ability to make that style work. A day after the U.S. got humili...