ea Page 1228 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Sad Little Man Utd Fan Is Just Bawling Over Robin van Persie Transfer
Aww, there there little Louis. When we imagined Manchester United fans crying over Robin van Persie’s impending move to Turkey, we thought they’d be tears of joy. Chin up, kid. The Memphis Depay era should be a good one....

Even Andrea Bargnani Said No To The Sacramento Kings' Money
For a few days now, it appeared former No. 1 overall pick and New York Knicks legend Andrea Bargnani would be signing with the Sacramento Kings. It was a match made in #basketballtwitter heaven. ...

Report: Bars Now Off Limits For Florida State Football Players
After a meeting with head coach Jimbo Fisher on Saturday morning, Florida State football players have been told bars are off limits, according to Jim Henry of The Tallahassee Democrat. The school will also bring in “professionals” to meet with players, per Henry....

Mark Cuban Will Not Accept DeAndre Jordan's Twitter Apology
Dallas Mavericks owner and world’s last Cyber Dust user Mark Cuban is still fed up with Clippers center DeAndre Jordan. ...

It Ain't A Tour De France Unless Some Dude's Ass Is Hanging Out
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That Water Is Colder Than It Looks
Current San Francisco Bay water temperature: 63°. Kruk & Kuip never fail to be amused by this....

USA Score, Finally, As Dempsey Puts Yanks Up 1-0 On Haiti
A thus-far uninspired performance by the U.S. has, at least, resulted in a goal and once again it’s Clint Dempsey who scored to put his side up 1-0 on Haiti in tonight’s Gold Cup match at the Patriots’ stadium in Foxborough. Let’s not let Deuce take all the credit, though he’s certainly earned it th...

Deadspin Up All Night: Get Some Air Up In This Room
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Let’s get sensual....

USWNT Parade Enjoyed By All Except Stranded 🍕 Guy
Thing to do when Broadway is going to be shut down for two hours to honor a World Cup-winning soccer team: make sure the pizza place you ordered 10 pies from for lunch is located on the same side of the street....

How Should You Feel About A Bear Using A Boulder To Break A Window?
As you’ve surely heard by now, a bear in a Minnesota zoo shattered a pane of glass with a boulder. That a wild animal would want to destroy a barrier keeping it within a confined habitat isn’t all that remarkable, but what is noteworthy is precisely how this bear went about breaking the glass....

Scenes From The USWNT's Victory Parade
Earlier today, the world champion U.S. women’s national soccer team was fêted with a ticker-tape parade up Broadway and presented with the keys to the city in a ceremony at City Hall. It was the 206th parade up the “Canyon of Heroes” in New York’s history (full list here), and the crowd might’ve ske...

It's Time To See If Conor McGregor, A Beautiful Troll, Can Fight
On Saturday, Irish fighter Conor McGregor will face Chad Mendes for the Ultimate Fighting Championship’s interim featherweight championship. The bout will be the final chapter of a saga over two years in the making....

Is Refusing A Breathalyzer Test Ever Smart?
Welcome to Ask a Lawyer, where I, a lawyer, respond to your questions. Got a vexing legal issue? Send it over, or drop it in the comments below. Keep in mind that this is general information, and not formal legal advice or legal representation; if you need any of that, you should get it from a lawye...
![Rodeo Enthusiasts Enjoy Rodeo [NSFW]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/1334670265994500162.png)
Rodeo Enthusiasts Enjoy Rodeo [NSFW]
The Calgary Stampede is a massive rodeo/festival/shitshow which takes over the city every year. As seen in a video posted to Instagram on Wednesday, an unofficial side event featured a woman and two men vigorously going to town in what appears to be an alley....

Goalkeeper Just Throws The Ball Into His Own Net
Your first impulse after watching this debacle is probably to cry “Match fixing!” but to paraphrase an old saying, never attribute to corruption that which can be adequately explained by ineptitude. Throw it or hold it, don’t try to do both at once....

Cuban: I Went To DeAndre Jordan's House, But He Said He Was On A Date
Mavericks owner Mark Cuban has more to say about losing DeAndre Jordan to the Clippers, specifically ESPN dingus Chris Broussard’s reports that he was driving around Houston like a madman trying to find Jordan’s house on Wednesday night. ...

Laundry School: Know Your Detergents, Bleaches, and Boosters
Last week in Laundry School, we talked about the machines in which we do our washing. We got to better know our washers and our dryers, and talked quite a bit about hand washing and how that gets done. Today, we’ll turn our attention to the products we use in those washers: The detergents, bleaches,...

DeAndre Jordan Hurt Chandler Parsons's Feelings. Hurt 'Em Real Bad, Bro.
Nobody was more instrumental to the Mavericks’ courtship of DeAndre Jordan than Chandler Parsons. Dallas’ small forward was attached to Jordan’s hip throughout the free-agency period, reportedly taking the big man out to dinner five nights in a row and wooing him with talk of MVP awards and All-Star...

Managers' Fistfight Causes Benches To Clear In Alaska League
You really have no excuses for not sticking with Wednesday’s Alaska Baseball League extra-inning barn-burner, but if you left before the 14th inning, you missed a doozy—two managers trading punches in foul territory....

Former Raiders QB Ken Stabler Dead At 69
Former NFL quarterback Ken Stabler, who led the Raiders to victory in Super Bowl XI in 1977, died yesterday at the age of 69. According to his family, Stabler died due to complications with colon cancer, and donated his brain and spinal cord to Boston University to study degenerative brain diseases....