ea Page 1262 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Always Wear Clean Undies
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Bhutan Wins Again! A Match Report From A Deadspin Reader In Bhutan
Bhutan pulled it off! The tiny landlocked Himalayan nation advanced to the second round of World Cup qualifying—where they could be placed into a pool with Asian heavyweights like Iran, Japan, or South Korea—by knocking off Sri Lanka 2-1 yesterday, winning the two-legged tie 3-1 on aggregate. The ...
Deadspin Up All Night: I Deserve A Grammy
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Teamwork Is Helping To Hide Your Buddy's Dong While He Pees On The Bench
If you ever wanted to know how close the Sevilla players are with each other, this is your answer....
My Beloved Stuffed Animal Needs A Bath, And I'm A Nervous Wreck
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....
Holy Mother Carlos Tevez Just Bombed Germany With This Rocket Golazo
Juventus and Borussia Dortmund are playing today, right now. A few minutes ago, they kicked off. Then two minutes passed. Then Juventus's Carlos Tevez got the ball. Then he blew up Germany's hopes, and also Germany. No more high-quality vehicles for anyone. Because there's no more Germany. Germany's...
Today In Tifos
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WGN Has Woman Make Sparks With Her Crotch In Front Of Awestruck Kids
This wonderful moment in local news history was broadcast recently on Chicago's WGN. Please note the children in the background....
How To Bury Your Parents
Your mom is going to die. Your dad is also going to die....
Olivier Giroud Is Good At Everything Except His Job
That right there is the quintessential pose of Olivier Giroud. His head tilted skyward, his face tightened into a pained grimace, his hands slowly making their way upward to his eyes or hair as he attempts to rub away the memory of whatever near-chance he was just unable to put away....
Round Of 16 Champions League Tie Ends In Sorry Display Of Penalties
After 120 full minutes at the Vicente Calderón in Madrid, the round of 16 Champions League tie between Atletico Madrid and Bayer Leverkusen was level 1-1 on aggregate. Time for some penalties!...
Deadspin Up All Night: You're A Coyote
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Potatoes are probably underrated....
Why Would Gareth Bale Want To Go Back To England?
There's a battle for Gareth Bale's soul being waged in the media of two different countries. On one side, you have the Spanish press expressing the frustrations of their readers by bashing the player's lazy, timid displays on the pitch. On the other, the press in Bale's native Britain is using its...
Soccer Player Badmouths Ref, Gets Told Right The Fuck Off
"Oh, what's that? You have something to say? Where are you going?!! I THOUGHT YOU HAD SOMETHING TO SAY!" ...
Don Lemon Is Great At His Job
Last night, Don Lemon took to his show, CNN Tonight, to host a discussion of, as he put it, The N-Word. It wasn't the first time he'd done so; nearly two years ago, he devoted an entire special to this topic. Famously, note cards were used, and the question of whether the words "cracker" and "nigger...
How To Cook Some Tasty (For Once!) Cabbage, For St. Patrick's Day
I love St. Patrick's Day. I know it's terribly unfashionable to admit so, but I love it all: I love the wearing of the green, I love the dogs in costume, I love the KISS ME I'M IRISH buttons. Give me a pair of glittered, bobbly shamrocks affixed to a headband and I'm one bonny Irish lass. The gree...
MASL Player Headbutts Opponent After Playoff Match; Team Cuts Him
The Baltimore Blast beat the Missouri Comets 10-7 in Sunday's particularly tense MASL playoff match, but after the Blast's 2-0 series sweep, Comets defender Andre Braithwaite walked up to Blast defender Pat Healey and headbutted him in the face....
This Is How Being The Biggest Dude In The World Helps You Score Goals
When Adebayo Akinfenwa last dropped-kicked our door down and announced his presence, he showed off his nose for goal with a tap-in against Liverpool in the F.A. Cup. It was a perfectly fine striker's goal, but it wasn't exactly what you'd hoped to see from a guy with a 97 strength rating in FIFA. Th...
Dwyane Wade Saves Ball, Throws Spectacular Behind-The-Back Pass
Up against frenemy LeBron James and the Cavaliers, Dwyane Wade is putting on an absolute show tonight. The 27 points on 11-15 through three quarters is impressive enough, but the real highlight of his night is this crazy save turned spot-on behind-the-back pass that split two defenders to Goran Drag...
Deadspin Up All Night: They Make Me Cry
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. I love this song....