ea Page 1325 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Icelandic Dipshits Totally Owned By Giant Parking-Garage Cat Door

Look, there's a lot going on here, and the only available information has to be translated from the Icelandic, so bear with me: I'm doing the best I can. From available news reports (headline: "Icelander panties girlfriend and drove car sales - mixed video!"), we can glean that this transpired t...

Marco Reus Reminds The World That He's The Truth

You might've been excused for losing track of Borussia Dortmund's Marco Reus, what with his pre-World Cup injury and the subsequent setback that held him out for much of this season. But today, in just his second game back from injury, he's been so kind as to remind us all what he can do....

Report: Some Seahawks Players Think Russell Wilson Isn't Black Enough

Bleacher Report's Mike Freeman spent some time musing today on the fallout from the Percy Harvin trade, which has seen Harvin painted as a moody malcontent. Citing an anonymous Seahawks player, Freeman reports that a big reason Harvin was traded was his continued animosity toward quarterback Russell...

Cops: Substitute Teacher Gave H.S. Footballer Oral Sex During Pep Rally

A 22-year-old substitute teacher was arrested and charged after she allegedly performed oral sex on a 17-year-old high school football player during an Oct. 17 pep rally. The player also reportedly asked her to perform "sex acts" as many times as his jersey number. (The jersey number wasn't specif...

Portland Timbers Boss Gets Owned By Supporters Group On Twitter

Tempers were high after the Portland Timbers failed to advance in the CONCACAF Champions League in decidedly unlikely circumstances. The Twitter account of the Timbers Army, the franchise's supporters group, vented about the lack of defensive reinforcements brought in, spurring the franchise's own...

UNC Investigation Reveals Widespread Academic Fraud

We knew that UNC's Department of African and Afro-American Studies offered sham classes. After the release of today's independent investigation we now know it went on for nearly two decades, and involved thousands of students—nearly half of them athletes....

Monitor Your Meal with This Wireless Meat Thermometer, and More Deals

Whether you're cooking on the grill or in the oven, this wireless meat thermometer will alert you as soon as your meal reaches the desired temperature. It's Amazon's #1 selling meat thermometer, and enjoys a 4.1 star review average to boot....

Senators, Maple Leafs In "Lockdown" After Ottawa Shootings [Update]

Update: Tonight's game between the Leafs and Senators has been postponed....

Paris Saint-Germain Are Bullshit

We can't keep letting PSG do this. Yesterday, the French giants took on Cyprian giants/world ants APOEL in Champions League play. This was a match even schizophrenic PSG couldn't muck up, right? No. Instead of a dominating performance on a day full of them, we saw another typically lackadaisical dis...

Here's How 9/11 Truther Pete Carroll Would Have Prevented The Iraq War

Seattle Times staff columnist Jerry Brewer's latest column begins with a conversation he had with Seattle Seahawks head coach and noted 9/11 truther Pete Carroll over a year ago. Somehow, the conversation veered into Carroll laying out his plan for handling the war in Iraq....

Romell Quioto Golazo Puts Olimpia Up On Timbers Two Minutes Into Match

CONCACAF Champions League action resumed tonight, and MLS's Portland Timbers traveled to Honduras to take on Olimpia—where they were greeted just moments into the match by this over-the-head flip goal by Romell Quioto....

Deadspin Up All Night: Ampersand After Ampersand

Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Go Giants and/or Royals!...

Update: Elegant Kipchoge, Now With Better Photos

Update on elegant, smiling marathoner Eliud Kipchoge and his recent canter through the Windy City: Now I have the photo documentation I was waiting for. For which I was waiting. Yeah....

Whole Lot Going On Here

Even The NCAA Says <em>SI</em>'s Oklahoma State Story Was Pointless Horsecrap

Hard to believe it was 13 months ago that Sports Illustrated released a five-part behemoth on alleged misdeeds at Oklahoma State and everyone responded with a collective, nationwide "meh." Today, the NCAA and an independent investigator hired by OK State released a joint statement following their o...

Edinson Cavani Scores Late Goal From His Ass To Put PSG Over Apoel

Paris Saint-Germain traveled to Cyprus to take on Apoel Nicosia, and for 87 minutes, the Zlatanless PSG played like shit. And then, three minutes from time, this happened....

Old Man In Sweater Knocks Virile Young Man Right On His Ass

That dude's confidence is now toast, because an old man in street clothes just handled him without breaking a sweat....

Bayern Munich Are Beating The Motherfucking Brakes Off AS Roma [Update]

This wasn't supposed to happen. This was supposed to be the best Champions League game of the day, where we found out whether AS Roma, Italy's second-best team, could match or even best visiting German champions FC Bayern. After 38 minutes and five Bayern goals, the answer is quite clearly "nah."...

South Korea's Biggest Royals Fan Is Back For The World Series

Sung Woo Lee, who's been a fan of the Royals since the '90s, traveled from South Korea to Kansas City in August for his first game. Since Kansas City made it to the World Series, Sung Woo got time off from work to see Game One against the Giants. Sung Woo's back, baby!...

All Other Big Threes Can Go Home

The Shanghai Sharks' Big Three of Michael Beasley, Yao Ming, and Delonte West is the best Big Three that ever was....