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Your Week Five College Football Master Schedule
Schedule and broadcasters via and cross-referenced with. If you spot any errors, let us know below. Conferences reflect home teams. Ranked teams bold; rankings from the USA Today Coaches Poll. Times (EST)....

Gordon Gee, Ohio State's "Best Recruiter" Of Uncompensated Student-Athletes, Expensed $64,000 Over Five Years On Bow Ties
On August 1, The Toledo Blade published a story about Gordon Gee, Ohio State's president, and likely the most prominent university president in the country right now. The article says that Gee's enthusiasm for the Buckeyes extends to hands-on football recruiting:...

Deadspin Up All Night: Say Hello To Never
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Your usual crew of Tim, Sam, Isaac, and Sean will be on duty to keep you informed and entertained this weekend. Do drop by. And have a good one....

Dead Letters: "NO ONE CARES About Your Gay Mouth Munching Of Cookies"
Subject: YOUR NEWS IS SO FAR LEFT LEANING I CAN’T MAKE MYSELF READ IT. BETTER STOP WITH THE KOOLAID...

Jason Babin Is Rational About Rivalries: "I Don’t Use The Word 'Hate' Unless We’re Talking About Terrorists"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: It's just football, people!...

The Scab Who Blew The Seattle Touchdown Call Now Wants To Get Paid For Interviews
You remember Lance Easley, yes? Side judge who signaled "touchdown, Seattle," overruling his colleague and singlehandedly becoming the biggest reason the lockout ended when it did. It's not often someone gets famous for being bad at his job, but if Lance Easley is going to be bad at his job, he migh...

The Coach Of The Junior Pee Wee Red Cobras Has Been Suspended After Allegations Of A Pop Warner Football Bounty Program
Kids—10- and 11-year-old kids—allegedly getting paid for whatever the Pop Warner equivalent of knockouts and cart-offs are. Yeah. "Kill the head and the body will grow up feeble and addled." The going rate for successfully concussing a tween? Between $20 and $50. Christ, society....

Washington Huskies Defensive Coordinator Justin Wilcox Finds Good Defense To Be A Turn-On
Washington upset the eighth-ranked Stanford Cardinal 17-13 last night in Seattle, leading to a field-rushing and a top moment in the still-evolving career of Steve Sarkisian. The defensive battle (neither team found the end zone until the second half) was, apparently, a point of pride for Huskies ...

Tennis Coach Mic'd Up For Live Broadcast Drops Deliberate F-Bomb
During a medical timeout in Nadia Petrova's Pan Pacific Open semifinal match against Samantha Stosur in Tokyo, the broadcast team threw it down to Petrova's coach, Ricardo Sanchez, who was wearing a microphone. Within seconds, Sanchez trolled everybody....

Hooking Up At Night In Central Park Is Every Bit As Foolish As You'd Expect
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Falcons Safety Thomas DeCoud Played The Meow Game During An Interview On <em>SportsCenter</em>
Super Troopers has long been a cultural touchstone for shaggy-haired college dudes who like to watch movies when they're stoned. Spend enough time in any dormitory, and you're bound to hear someone yell, "He's already pulled over, he can't pull over any farther!" and then laugh before taking anot...

When Good Statistics Go Bad: The Case Against The Case Against R.A. Dickey
R.A. Dickey, objectively speaking, is the greatest human being in history. His knuckleball destroys cities and he climbed a huge fucking mountain. But should he win the Cy Young Award?...

Somehow Josh Cribbs Woke Up And Walked Away From This Brutal Head-Crunching Hit
On a day the NFL celebrated the end of its most pressing controversy, its lingering one rose again to prominence as Browns returner Josh Cribbs took a brutal hit from Dannell Ellerbe at the end of a first quarter punt return and lay motionless on the turf during tonight's Cleveland-Baltimore game ...

Deadspin Up All Night: Sing, Michael, Sing
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Malinowski will be with you presently. Enjoy the football. We'll see you all tomorrow....

Could Somebody Please Show Michael Vick How To Use Twitter On His Phone?
It seems Michael Vick's getting pinged every time one of his 1.5 million followers tweets at him. The best solution here, obviously, is to draw as much attention to the situation as possible. We're here to help....

Americans' Favorite Soccer Clubs, As Determined By <i>FIFA 12</i> Plays
ESPN FC had a neat piece this week on the ties between soccer video games and soccer fandom, and the idea that even in the days of satellite television, nothing's done more to grow the sport in the United States than gaming. Here's the money quote, from social scientist Rich Luker:...

Cheerleaders, Endless Chants, And Fan-Created Performance Art: Why Baseball Games In The Far East Feel Like College Football Games
On my flight to Busan, South Korea I sat next to an older Korean woman sporting a Detroit Tiger hat. It seemed serendipitous that I'd be seated next to a fellow Tigers fan on a vacation planned entirely around seeing baseball games. The issue, which was a big issue, was expressing this....

Pirates Outfielder Travis Snider Just Made "One Of The Best Catches You'll Ever See"
In a meaningless game between Pittsburgh and the Mets on a day during which the attention has focused more on Keith Hernandez's facial hair than actual baseball, Pirates outfielder Travis Snider made a bid for defensive play of the year in robbing Mike Baxter of a towering homer at Citi Field....

Seven Years After Getting Concussed By The First Pitch He Saw, Adam Greenberg Gets A Second Chance
Adam Greenberg's career slash line is .000/1.000/.000. On July 9, 2005, Greenberg made his debut with the Chicago Cubs when he entered a game against the Marlins as a pinch-hitter in the ninth inning. His major league debut ended abruptly, though, when Valerio de los Santos's first pitch, a 92-mph f...

Watching Keith Hernandez Get His Mustache Shaved Is Painful For Many Reasons
Mets legend and current SNY announcer Keith Hernandez dispensed with his mustache of 25 years today in a charity stunt outside Citi Field today, emerging as a young- if freakish-looking man unsure in his certainty of having made the right decision....