ea Page 1695 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Summer Camp Blowjob Follies!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Dead Letters: "Wishing You A Lifetime Of Genital Herpes And Shingles"
Subject: Ephesians...

Bill "Spaceman" Lee, Age 65, Threw A Complete Game Last Night
The high—and I do mean high—priest of baseball eccentrics hasn't pitched in the majors since 1982, but he's still out there, you know, man, and he's still pitching, 65 years young. Last night, the Spaceman took the mound for the San Rafael (Calif.) Pacifics of the independent North American League. ...

What The Hell Happened To Lance Armstrong? All Your Doping Scandal Questions, Answered
Some people pay attention to cycling. Others pay attention to cycling only when the most successful American cyclist of all time is banned from the sport and stripped of his seven Tour de France titles. If you're in that second group, Lance Armstrong's ban has likely left you with some questions. He...

Student-Athletes To Be Slightly Less Exploited, At Least In California
We learned, from Taylor Branch's history, that the term "student-athlete" only arose as a (successful) attempt by the NCAA to avoid having to pay workman's comp to injured players. A Colorado football player, killed by a head injury in the '50s, wasn't entitled to a thing from the NCAA—no health car...

Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Miami Dolphins
Some people are fans of the Miami Dolphins. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Miami Dolphins. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here....

All Seven Of Lance Armstrong's Tour De France Wins Would Now Go To Cyclists With Doping Scandals Of Their Own
Now Lance Armstrong has been stripped of his seven consecutive Tour de France titles, thanks to the persistent doping allegations against him. It's a sad day for the sport, but at least it vindicates all of the clean-riding cyclists who finished behind Armstrong. Right? So here are the runners-up wh...

Chris Johnson Owes You Money: The Deadspin 2012 AFC Fantasy Football Preview
If you missed our NFC fantasy preview, you can find it right here. And now, it's time for the AFC portion of our annual Deadspin fantasy guide ... FLESH FOR FANTASYYYYYYYYY!!!...

USADA Chief Confirms Lifetime Ban, Loss Of Titles For Lance Armstrong
In his statement released Thursday evening, ex-seven-time Tour de France-winner Lance Armstrong lashed out at the head of the US Anti-Doping Agency for conducting an "unconstitutional witch hunt." He also criticized USADA for his lack of evidence:...

Lance Armstrong Drops Fight Against Doping Charges, Will Likely Be Stripped Of Tour Titles And Banned For Life
Seven-time Tour de France-winning cyclist Lance Armstrong has dropped his fight against doping charges leveled at him by the US Anti-Doping Agency. This means that he likely will be stripped of each Tour de France title and banned from competitive cycling for life. Specifically, he'll be stripped o...

Deadspin Up All Night: Fall Into It
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. There's football on tonight; but it's Berman. Erik and Tim will try to keep you sane....

Does A Last-Place Team Really Need Beat Reporters?
The Mariners fly to Chicago today, 12 games back in their division, and five teams ahead of them in the wild card hunt. Despite a healthy winning streak, these last few weeks will likely be an exercise in playing out the string. But the Ms, and their fans, are bringing their hopes with them. Not tag...

Joe Paterno/Penn State Defenders: Here's Your Chance To Make Your Case
As tends to happen now whenever we write about Penn State, the discussion below our post Wednesday about Graham Spanier and the Freeh report quickly filled up with Penn State supporters responding with varying degrees of anger. (Some exchanges were ultimately reasonable; others were not.)...

Here Is Former Penn State President Graham Spanier's Response To The Freeh Report
As we told you yesterday, former Penn State president Graham Spanier launched a media offensive that began with a press conference during which his lawyers excoriated the Freeh report and its findings. Later, the New Yorker published a Q&A with Spanier, and Josh Elliot did an interview with Spanier ...

How to Not Look Like a Slob at Dinner
Welcome to A Gentleman's Quest for the Perfect Night Out, a four-part guide written by etiquette expert John Bridges meant to instruct our more testosteroney readers on how to comport themselves during the evening hours. With the help of Clear Men Scalp Therapy, which gives you 100% dandruff protec...

How Paralympians Cheat By Injuring Themselves
The Paralympics are legitimately inspiring—check this promo and you'll be ready to run through a wall—but they are, at the end of the day, athletes. For all the feel-good stories, they're just looking to win. And that means for the Paralympic Games what it's meant for every competition since the daw...

Why Your Website Sucks, By Minnesota Vikings Punter Chris Kluwe: A Rebuttal
Some people are fans of Deadspin's Why Your Team Sucks previews. But now the shoe's on the other foot! Suck on this, you cocksuckers....

Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Minnesota Vikings
Some people are fans of the Minnesota Vikings. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Minnesota Vikings. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here. For a rebuttal, see Vikings punter Chris Kluwe's "Why Your Web...

Metta World Peace's <em>Yo Gabba Gabba!</em> Cameo Was As Odd As You'd Think
Having no children, I've never seen Yo Gabba Gabba! and did some research to find out what I've been missing. I think Drew pretty much nailed it back in 2009:...

The Soccer Fans Who Ought Least To Go Shirtless Always Do
The UEFA Champions League playoff is like a very long series of NCAA Play-In Games Opening Round Games; scrappy champions of small leagues and barely-qualified major league losers clash heads for the right to face the real "Champions" in the group stage....