ea Page 1742 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Heat PA Guy Announced Amar'e Stoudemire Fouling Out As "He Has Been Extinguished From The Game"
Ha! Ha! Get it? Because he severely injured his hand punching a fire extinguisher! You're winning friends the right way, Miami Heat. (We isolated the arena audio track so you can hear it more easily.) [TNT]...

CBC's Ron MacLean Attempts Tortured Comparison Of Hockey Players To 9/11 First Responders, Fails
CBC host Ron MacLean opened tonight's coverage of the Stanley Cup playoff Game Six bout between the Capitals and Rangers with an extended and tortuous metaphor claiming the players were "like firefighters, like police officers," and throwing in 9/11 references....

Deadspin Up All Night: Throw The Switch
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. It's rock 'n roll time....

Another Mike Leach Book Inscription: "Anybody But Craig James For Senator"
Last night, we showed you the personalized message Washington State football coach Mike Leach left when autographing a copy of his book for a fan, which referenced the possibility that Craig James killed five hookers while at SMU....

An Unassisted Triple Play Is So Easy A 6-Year-Old Can Do It
And to think, there's only been 15 of these in MLB history. Pffft....

Fenway Park Public Address Announcer Killed In Car Accident
Sad news out of Boston this afternoon as police have announced that Carl Beane, the public address announcer at Fenway Park since 2003, was killed earlier today in a one-car crash in Sturbridge. He was 59 years old....

A Special Graduation Message To The Class Of 2012
I had a long drive home the night that I found out my son was in grave danger of being born too early. Not long in the sense of distance, but long in an existential way, the way that a minute spent waiting in a dentist's office is far longer than a minute spent hooking up with someone for the first ...

Spokeswoman For Craig James Denies He Killed Five Hookers While At SMU (OK, Whatever)
It's the probing question that keeps the world's brightest minds up at night: Did unpopular Texas Republican Craig James actually kill five hookers while at Southern Methodist? Tim Rogers, an editor at D Magazine in Dallas, finally got James campaign spokeswoman Meredith Turney on the phone for a fr...

Craig James's Senate Campaign Nears Its Sad, Inevitable Conclusion
There's a new poll out in the race to win the Republican nomination for Texas's open Senate seat, and it's not good news for skilled communicator Craig James, whose campaign has now hit some sort of sad nadir that even we didn't think was possible....

Last Night JaVale McGee Did A Lot Of Great Things, At Least One Bad Thing, And A Very Strange Thing
The Denver Nuggets forced a Game Six in their series with the Lakers last night with a 109-99 win at Staples Center, and JaVale McGee played a big part in the team's success with 21 points, 14 rebounds, and a number of highlight reel plays you can view here....

Down And Out In Baseball's Indie Leagues; Or, What Made Tommy John Want To Rake The Infield?
A dispatch from our correspondent with the Bridgeport Bluefish, an unaffiliated team in the Atlantic League....

Bristolmetrics: <em>SportsCenter</em> Said "Fire Extinguisher" More Times Than "Kobe Bryant" Last Week
This is a regular feature breaking down, minute-by-minute, the content that appears on ESPN's 11 p.m. edition of SportsCenter throughout the week. Graphic by Jim Cooke....

Mike Leach Appears To Have Autographed A Copy Of His Book With A "Craig James Killed Five Hookers" Reference
Washington State football head coach Mike Leach isn't just inspiring possible new Friday Night Lights movies, he's also playing along with Internet memes referencing the nemesis who probably got him fired from Texas Tech....

What This Street Fight Between A Cross-Dressing Hooker And A John Can Teach You About Life
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "ANGRY TRANNY BEATS UP GUY WHO WON'T PAY - MELBOURNE" (with an accompanying news report). Tonight's commentator: Butch Cordora, a fabulous artist/photographer/televisio...

Deadspin Up All Night: In My Head
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin....

Shawn Kemp Does Shakespeare
Yes, that's Kemp and Seattle Times columnist Steve Kelley doing a scene from The Taming of the Shrew. The performance was part of a recent fundraiser for the Seattle Shakespeare Company. Kemp gave a stilted reading of his lines the whole way through, but he ad-libbed the last one, and The Bard him...

How Bobcat Goldthwait Became A True Artist Of Independent Cinema. (Seriously.)
Bobcat Goldthwait, in almost every possible fashion, belongs on the list of those creatures who could only have come of celebrity age in the '80s, along with Emmanuel Lewis, Grace Jones, and Dr. Ruth. When the highlight of your popularity is that you were the star of the second through fourth Police...

The Fruitless Search For Decent Facial Recognition Porn Software
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Key Witness In Jerry Sandusky Case Is Worst Witness Ever
Mike McQueary is creating quite a shitshow. McQueary, a former Penn State assistant football coach, provided the testimony that led to perjury charges against two university officials, which, in turn led to the firing of Joe Paterno. Last November, less than two weeks after the grand jury issued its...

Vin Scully Raced Jackie Robinson On Ice Skates
For those of us living on the East Coast, there's no better teller of bedtime stories than Vin Scully. The embodiment of a man who has forgotten more about baseball than any of us will ever know, Scully weaves narratives from his 63 years with the Dodgers into his description of the events on-fiel...