ea Page 1756 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Cockblocked By The SDSU Aztec!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Dead Letters: "If Melo Hates Jews, OK, That's His Choice"
Subject: Melo’s Hitler Mustache...

This Is What Happens When You Accuse A Notre Dame Football Player Of Sexually Assaulting You
Last week, the National Catholic Reporter published a lengthy piece on reported sexual assaults at Notre Dame. Its fulcrum is the case involving Lizzy Seeberg, a 19-year-old freshman at nearby St. Mary's College who committed suicide in September 2010, just 10 days after she was allegedly sexually a...

Deadspin Up All Night: Safe At Home
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Who umpires the umpires? Erik, and he's on soon....

Stay Sober Around Gary Bettman
We missed this when it ran Tuesday, but we'd like to bring to your attention the memoirs of Richard Stursberg, former head of CBC. The excerpt that ran in Maclean's concerns his 2006 negotiations with Gary Bettman over the league's television contract. We pick things up at a chi-chi Italian restaura...

Will Kimbrough Welcomes You To Opening Day With A Special Version Of "Take Me Out To The Ballgame"
What's more American than beginning the Major League season spread over four days in two weeks on two continents? How about an American singing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" in Sweden? Here's the first in a series of exclusive renditions of our national pastime's theme song we'll be featuring on Dea...

It's Your Opening Day Open Thread
Here we go. At 1 p.m., It's fat guys versus beer and chicken, as the Detroit Tigers meet the Boston Red Sox. Discuss that and all the rest of today's baseball action in the comments....

"Kill The Fucking Head": Gregg Williams Told The Saints To Destroy The 49ers' Brains
What you're listening to is Gregg Williams hyping up the Saints before their playoff game with San Francisco. It becomes clear that New Orleans's bounty program was less about monetary reward and all about a mindset of agression, and punishment, and maliciously hitting the shit out of opposing pl...

Blake Griffin Put Pau Gasol In A Very Bad Place With This Vicious Dunk
Not many people had the chance to see this live, because the Lakers-Clippers game tipped off before the thrilling Thunder-Heat game in Miami had reached its conclusion. So here you are: devastation on a basketball floor as Blake Griffin puts back a miss over the head of Pau Gasol, which may or ma...

If You're In NYC Tomorrow Night, Come Hear Some Good Writers Read To Welcome Baseball Back
This month's edition of Gelf's terrific Varsity Letters reading series focuses on—what else?—baseball. Come hear the Times' Dan Barry, Baseball Prospectus's Jay Jaffe and Steven Goldman, and Glenn Stout, author of Fenway 1912. They're great and so is baseball. 7:30 p.m. Thursday at Le Poisson Rouge...

Deadspin Up All Night: Standing O
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Erik and baseball....

10 Historical Events That Would've Been Completed In The Interval Between MLB's First And Last Opening Days This Year
1. Anglo-Zanzibar War (38 minutes) 2. Death and resurrection of Jesus (according to Bible) (36 hours) 3. October Revolution (2 days) 4. Bay of Pigs Invasion (3 days) 5. Operation Desert Fox (4 days) 6. The ground conflict of the Gulf War (4 days) 7. February Revolution (5 days) 8. Six-Day War (6 day...

Joey Votto's New Contract Is Like A Mortgage-Backed Security
Reds first baseman Joey Votto officially signed a big contract extension today. A big, honking deal: 10 years, $225 million, on top of the two years and $26 million the Reds already promised him for 2012 and 2013. There's an option year for 2024....

Kaká's Long-Range Finesse Strike Was A Work Of Art
While APOEL's Cinderella run through the Champions League was mostly over before today's return match at Real Madrid even started, Kaká helped slam the door by increasing the aggregate lead to 5-0 when he landed a shot from a position and with a curve more reminiscent of his teammate Cristiano Ro...

Shitting While Skydiving: A Physics Experiment
I apologize for not posting yesterday's Funbag on time. Due to various circumstances, you only get a half Funbag today, and I may have to work a limited schedule this month. But fear not: Everything will be back to normal soon. If by normal, you mean talking about hypothetical superpowers and poopin...

Better Know An Umpire: Jerry Meals
Welcome to Better Know An Umpire, an effort to educate ourselves on the human elements who have ultimate decision-making power over some 2,500 Major League Baseball games a year. ...

Rain Delay Theater: An All-Mississippi Faceoff
Southern Miss and Ole Miss were to meet in a neutral field matchup at the Braves' minor league park in Pearl, Miss. last night, until the rains came. The delay lasted for more than 90 minutes before being called off, giving both teams plenty of time to entertain themselves and the crowd....

Nice Of Marlins Park To Include A Bobblehead Hall Of Nightmares
Lost in all the other wonderful features, like the fish and the home run sculpture and the fact that Marlins Park is actually really nice is something called the Bobblehead Museum. No need to come to Little Havana to see it—it'll come to you in your nightmares....

Robert Griffin III Celebrates His Last Winning Moment In A Long Time
We're not really sure why RGIII got to climb the ladder to cut the nets after Baylor's women's basketball team beat Notre Dame in last night's NCAA title game. Must have been the important role he played in the Lady Bears' victory....

Designated Shitters: Help Deadspin Plumb The Secrets Of MLB Restrooms
From Fenway to Camden Yards to Marlins Park, baseball is defined by the built environment. We've already surveyed the big picture. Now it's time to explore the depths. We're looking for photos and stories to build an online guide to the restrooms of Major League Baseball—the Yelp of plop, you might ...