ea Page 1873 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

THE ELUSIVE GREAT ADVENTURE BABOON HAS BEEN CAPTURED! NEW JERSEY IS SAFE!
The Star-Ledger and others are reporting that a runaway baboon from the Six Flags amusement-park safari in Jackson, NJ was tranquilized and taken into custody around 2:40 p.m. after three days on the lam....

DeSean Jackson Is Committed To Getting A Season-Ending Injury Before The Lockout Ends
DeSean Jackson, the humble Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver, apparently went on down to MTV's Fantasy Factory to spin around a basketball on some sort of four-wheeled Go-Kart-y contraption and perform some very challenging half-foot drops on a skateboard....

Here's Video Of Heather O'Reilly's Fantastic World Cup Goal
The United States Women's National Team is up 1-0 on Colombia at the half. Heather O'Reilly, upper 90 with pace, is why. [Soccernet]...

Stories That Don't Suck: SportsFeat's Guide To Schmuck Owners
Every Friday, SportsFeat picks a few great weekend reads for Deadspin. In honor of Frank McCourt, the lockouts, and James Dolan's never-ending flirtation with Isiah Thomas, here are five of the best stories ever written about terrible owners....

Cockblocked By Waves!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Well, Shit, We've Been Giving The Norris Trophy To The Wrong Man Every Year
Your morning roundup for July 1, the day we blamed math on luck. Photo via Reddit....

Here's A Picture Of The Time Those Purple, Courtside Uggs From Miami Reappeared In All Their Glory
Tipster Josh has a story to share. So, listen up:...

Watch A Guy Drive Off The Side Of A Mountain
What happens when your car goes twirling off the side of a mountain at Devil's Playground during the Pikes Peak International Hill Climb? If you're Bobby Regester, you just climb out of the Pontiac Sunfire window. Ripoff....

Chad Ochocinco Threatens To Whoop Marvin Lewis's Ass
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Ochocinco doesn't pull punches on anyone....

Charlie Sheen's Steroid Admission Has Ruined My Childhood
It was the summer of 2003. A pleasant breeze graced the local baseball field, but I wasn't there. I was inside watching Comedy Central, sheltered in more ways than one. It was, for me, the summer of Major League, the summer of Rick "Wild Thing" Vaughn, the summer of Charlie Sheen and everything a ki...

Formula One Looks Like It's Coming To Texas Next Year
Plans for the 2012 American Grand Prix to be held at a new racetrack in Austin, are coming to fruition, with the track under construction and a date of June 17, 2012 circled on the F1 calendar....
![Exclusive: How An NBA Team Makes Money Disappear [UPDATE WITH CORRECTION]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/1865o9ndt013bjpg.jpg)
Exclusive: How An NBA Team Makes Money Disappear [UPDATE WITH CORRECTION]
We've obtained audited financial data for the New Jersey Nets covering the three fiscal years from June 2003 to June 2006. Though the numbers end five years ago, you can still see the roots of the argument that will have NBA owners, come midnight, again locking out their players. You can also see ho...

This Man Cares About The Equatorial Guinean Women's Soccer Team More Than You Do
Equatorial Guinea lost to Norway in its first game in the Women's World Cup with a 1-0 decision. No one took the defeat harder than this unidentified and possibly deranged superfan....

Chinese Male Cheerleader Has All The Right Moves
A friend tells us that this video is going viral in China, and if it's good enough to bring joy to the faces of 1.3 billion inscrutable Chinese, it's good enough for you lot....

No Country Club For Old Men
Your morning roundup for June 30, the day the turtles won. Photo via @FortyDeuceTwits....

The Girl With The OKC Thunder Tattoo Wants To Bear Kendrick Perkins's Babies
Here, Priscilla and Ashley discuss, or at least make reference to, the Mavericks/Thunder series, manners, personal space(s), sweat flavor, stalking Awful Joey Crawford and whether inking prevents pregnancy, while Priscilla or Ashley gets "Thunder Up!" and "Rise Together" tattoos added to her inner...

Alas, Mardy Fish: American Tennis Rots From The Head Down
There was a single American remaining in the quarterfinals at Wimbledon this year, and his name was Mardy Fish. His is never a name that inspires confidence or even optimism in tennis fans in the United States, most of whom are still lamenting the retirement of Pete Sampras a decade ago. Fish lost t...

Intel Executive Wonders Moronically "What Intel Can Learn from Miami Heat's Recent Loss"
Let's watch a bunch of Intel employees draw a lot of silly corporate lessons from the failure of one really good basketball team to beat another really good basketball, shall we? First, here's an executive's blog post, written on the company's internal site and passed along by a tipster. We've left ...

