ea Page 1893 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Manny Ramirez Isn't Really Going Away
Perhaps you thought Manny Ramirez had faded away into that flickering twilight, where we'd reminisce about what a truly spectacular athlete he was. Some folks, Joe Posnanski foremost among them, would argue for Manny's Hall of Fame credentials, while others would want him nowhere near Cooperstown....

Royal Wedding Wins Race
Hours after simpleton Middleton and doubly-crowned Prince William wed today, a horse named Royal Wedding won the 5.30 steeplechase at Fontwell, Sussex by three lengths. If this was fixed, it was at a great cost: bookies are predicting a multi-million pound payout, because everyone the world over bel...

Frank McCourt Is Basically Charlie Sheen, At This Point
Kind-of Dodgers owner Frank McCourt toured cable television yesterday, pleading his case. Here are some of the things he said. They are totally not the ramblings of a man who has lost all money and control....

Year Of The Pitcher Dies Premature Death, Aged 29 Days
What some were already calling the second straight "Year of the Pitcher" in baseball came to an abrupt end yesterday, as bats exploded into craziness around MLB....

A Good Old Fashioned Pussyblock!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Maple Leafs' Swedish Goalie Prospect Is A Terrible Rapper
Toronto signed Mark "In Da Park" Owuya, a 21-year-old goalie prospect from Sweden, to an entry-level contract on Thursday. Last season, Da Park had a 2.18 goals-against average and a .927 save percentage in goal for Djurgarden, of the Swedish Elite League....

The Bears Forgot To Report Their Draft-Day Trade, So It Never Went Through
Not a huge fuckup, as far as draft-day fuckups go, not like a Christian Ponder-level fuckup, but a fuckup nonetheless. When time ran out on Baltimore's 26th round pick, and the Chiefs leapfrogged them in the order, everyone assumed it was the Ravens that dropped the ball. But no, it was Jerry Angelo...

Deion Sanders May Have Found A New Football-Playing Host Upon Which He Can Attach
Your morning roundup for April 29, the day "special cookies" in zip-lock freezer bags got real....

Your Royal Wedding Open Thread
Right, so this is about to happen. Don't even pretend like you've above this, because you watch pro sports, and there's nothing less inherently important than pro sports. Also, David Beckham got an invite, so this is relevant....

More Baseball Fans Care About Andre Ethier's Bowels Than Chipper Jones's Switch-Hitting Prowess
In tipster Zachary P.'s estimation, the difference between Andre Ethier's hit streak and Andre Ethier' shit streak is minimal. It is....

How an Imperfect Player Became the Perfect <em>Madden</em> Cover Pick
He's the first Madden cover star from a losing team. The first with no Pro Bowl appearances at the time of his selection. He led NFL running backs in one statistical category last year - fumbles.… [Kotaku] ...

Your NHL Playoffs Open Thread
There's single second-round game on the lineup. The Nashville Predators visit the Vancouver Canucks. It may not mean a lot to you, but it means a lot to the Green Men....

Your NBA Playoffs Open Thread
In tonight's games, the Orlando Magic, New Orleans Hornets and Portland Trailblazers have an opportunity to extend their opening-round series to a seventh, and decisive, game. Orlando visits Atlanta at 7:30 p.m. eastern. The Hornets host the Lakers a half-hour later. The Blazers welcome the Maveric...

Real Madrid Is So Butthurt Right Now
Real Madrid's official website has produced a short video purporting to show that Pepe didn't deserve his red card in yesterday's Clásico, complete with zooms, isos, and super slow mo shots. They've also cited the learned opinions of the legends of the game, like Rio Ferdinand and, er, Chad Ochocinc...

God's Gift Commits To St. John's
St. John's has secured a commitment from God's Gift Achiuwa, a juco All-American. Steve Lavin now has the third-ranked recruiting class for 2011. Who would win in a name-off: God's Gift or Godspower? [ESPN]...

Yankees Season Ticket Holders Use AOL And Go To Columbia, And Other Things Gleaned From The Leaked Docs
We'll have a lot more about those leaked Yankees spreadsheets in the coming days. For now, let's poke through the 21,000 or so email accounts listed in the documents. Here are just the most popular domain names, with the number of occurrences:...

The Perils Of Pissing At A Bruins Game When You Are A Canadiens Fan
Here is an ad for adult diapers from Barstool Sports. If this Canadiens fan squeezed out a drop or two, he almost certainly shat himself as well....

Here's How Gary Neal's Buzzer-Beater Sounded To San Antonio
The Memphis Grizzlies announcers left something to be desired (mainly, any commentary whatsoever) after Gary Neal tied the game at the buzzer last night. Here's what it sounded like on the other side....

Jack Edwards's Baffling Pro-Boston, Anti-Royalty Rant
Noted homer Jack Edwards probably couldn't sleep last night after his beloved Bruins came back to oust the Canadiens in 7 games. But before tossing and turning with visions of Jozef Stümpel dancing in his head, he had some parting words on the NESN postgame show....

Here's A Beautiful Animation Of The First Of Five El Clásicos This Year
Your morning roundup for April 28, the day we learn that God's advice for ending a 46-day beer-only fast is with a bacon smoothie, forever and ever, Amen....