ea Page 1944 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Prep Schoolers Up In Arms Over Plebeian Reporter Pointing Out That Their Crappy Football Team Sucks
The Sidwell Friends football team has been outscored 373-43 this season. When Washington City Paper columnist Dave McKenna pointed that out, he learned that the school's tony pansies are way feistier on the Internet than they are on the field....

You, Dim PR Person, Are Dumb And Should Be Fired, Part 5: Salisbury Edition
PR people are dumb. Not all of them, just some of them. Like this thoughtful individual repping "Voice America Radio" who forwarded us (and many, many sports-affiliated sites) this update on their new client — Sean Salisbury. Sigh....

Cockblocked By A Salad-Tossing Cow!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Jerry Rice Is Obviously Not The Best Football Player Of All Time
The way I see it, there were six players they could have named as No. 1 and no one could seriously object: Brown, Unitas, Payton, Montana, LT and Elway. They chose none of those. We're objecting....

Someone In The Heat Organization Finally Decided To Stop The Assholery
That Ohio kid who wore a LeBron Miami jersey to an Indians game after The Decision? The Heat offered to fly him down for a game, until the public caught wind and someone decided maybe they don't need to celebrate jerks. Again....

C.J. Spiller Is Prepared For His First Buffalo Winter
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Knifepoint Cunnilingus And A Fishy Scent
I don't want to spoil the surprise, but I really think you should check this out....

Slow-Motion Video Of Popcorn Popping, Because Why Not
If you have ever wondered how popcorn is made, the answer is science. But here's a video that shows some really delicious science in action. [Modernist Cuisine, H/T Katie]...

Heat Strokes, Game 5: The Last Asshole Standing
FreeDarko's Bethlehem Shoals, a regular contributor to NBA FanHouse and co-author of The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History (visit the FreeDarko store, too!), is keeping a game-by-game diary of the Heat's season — the one you're pretending not to care about....

Colin Cowherd's Asinine John Wall Rant, With Video Accompaniment
On Tuesday, John Wall played his first home game as a Washington Wizard. During his introduction, he came out to "Teach Me How To Dougie" and performed the accompanying dance. Colin Cowherd was less than thrilled because Colin Cowherd is an asshole....

The Frantic Search For The Cowboys Lap Dance Girl
The titillating yet kind of gross video caused a bit of a stir yesterday, so it was natural that the young lady's identity would become a topic of discussion. Our first clue: the oft-lifted shirt....

The Major Iconography Of The NFL, In One Image: Cowboys, Pepsi, Jesus
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

This Sorority Gal Did Not Take South Carolina's Loss Well
Bad to worse: first the Gamecocks lost to Kentucky last month. Then she gets a camera shoved in her crying face. Now she's (Internet) famous for it....

Breaking: Mick Foley Is In Our Office Right Now
That is all. [Jezebel]...

REVEALED: Pages From Jose Mourinho’s Match Tactics Book
Those of you who study Real Madrid manager Jose Mourinho closely will have noticed that, when he isn't chewing gum, yelling, or shooting smouldering looks at people, he likes to write a lot of stuff in his Real-branded notepad during matches....

This Man Actually Ran For Office Yesterday
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

There Are <em>Invisible</em> Fires In Auto Racing?
Click to view File under: #holyshit. In the 1981 Indianapolis 500, Rick Mears took a pitstop and his car was sprayed with fuel that ignited invisibly after making contact with the engine. Mears and several members of his crew were immediately (and invisibly) lit up....

A Chilean Miner Is Running The NYC Marathon, Proving That We're All Rather Inadequate
How would the average person spend 69 days trapped underground? Edison Peña ran three to six miles daily. Now he's running in the NYC Marathon this weekend. Great. I'll be on a couch, trapped under a pile of wings....

Randy Moss Was Right To Berate Catering, Says Concerned Amateur Meat Expert
A veritable warming tray firestorm erupted over Randy Moss complaining about the quality of the food served at a post-practice buffet. A devoted reader put on his deerstalker cap and dove into the sordid world of cut-rate carving boards....

Stories That Don't Suck: David Halberstam On Maurice Lucas And The Powers That Be Scared Shitless
Occasionally, we'll select stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that we urge you to read for one reason or another. Today: the late Maurice Lucas, menacing the whistle right out of a ref's mouth....