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Look At These Fucking Hoopsters: Grab Bag
Welcome back to Look At This Fucking Hoopster. I think this latest batch should slake your thirst for the indie bros you love to mock so much. Part One | Part Two | Part Three...

A Love Letter To <em> Circus</em>, The Magazine That Made Me Dirty
The first magazine subscription I ever had was to this tawdry rock magazine, filled with sweaty images of heavy metal heroes, which completely ruined my obsession with sports....

The Day I Believed I Could Fly With Dylan And The Dead
None, some or all of this may be true. I don't know, but I was there....

The Grossest Thing You'll Read All Week
Seattle man dumps bucket filled with "urine, feces and vomit" on neighbor. The Aristocrats!...

Cockblocked By The Homeless! GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments In Drunken Hookup Failure, where we chronicle four heartwarming stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

The Spoiler’s 10 Premier League Predictions
Get really excited everyone—the Premier League is back! This is wonderful news, and hopefully a couple of decent weekends will blow away the awful cobwebs left behind by a very disappointing World Cup....

Last Night's Winner: The Miami Heat's Smothering Of Banana Man
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like the Heat's culture of secrecy, which forbade local media from speaking to...a fan who wears a banana suit....

Ray Lewis Masturbating On A Pile Of Skulls Is Not Actually That Far-Fetched
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The 2010 Deadspin NFC Fantasy Football Preview
Every year, Andy Behrens of Yahoo and I preview the upcoming fantasy season by going through every team in the NFL. All killer, no filler. Listen here. Join us, won't you?...

Who Is The Medal-Winning Olympian Turned Boozehound Law School Attendee?
We have your newest case here. It concerns a woman that won a medal at the 2008 Olympics. She's spent this summer boozing and shmoozing as a summer associate at Milbank Tweed. You must find her....

Brian Urlacher Thinks Julius Peppers Is The Best Player He's Ever Seen
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Vitamin Water spokesperson and Chicago Bear Brian Urlacher....

Foul Ball Couple Calls It Quits
Bo and Sara did the TV thing this morning, and revealed to the world what we already knew: this was one storm their relationship could not weather....

Lessons In Midget Hoisting Etiquette
My power went out this morning for the 9,000th time this summer. Let me tell you something: power outages are a hundred times worse when you have small children. No power means the TV doesn't work, so I have nothing to turn on to get the kids to be quiet so that I can ignore them properly. Also, the...

200 Beer Bottles Opened In 80 Seconds? Believe It
In the pantheon of useless talents, this rates somewhere between reciting Pi to the hundredth digit and throwing a knuckleball. I'd be more impressed if he had kept even one beer from overflowing with head....

Tim Tebow's Hyperbaric Chamber Lets Him Use Oxygen Better Than You, Too
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Deaf Guy Getting Choked By Mall Security? Deaf Guy Getting Choked By Mall Security (UPDATE: Video Fixed)
This video shows some overzealous security person at a Los Angeles mall showing off his MMA classes on a possible shoplifter. Problem is, the purple-faced shoplifter is deaf, didn't hear the alarm, and...also may have paid for his items. [SmartCrew]...

Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater: Austin Croshere
Welcome back to Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater. Today's laughably out-of-place subject? Bill Walton absolutely loved saying his name: Austin Croshere. The song: "Bad Lands," by rappers Zion I & The Grouch....

Playboy Playmate Is Pretty Sure A Lot Worse Has Happened In UCF Locker Room
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: subject of minor controversy, Miss July, Shanna Marie McLaughlin....

Furry Tries To Legally Change His Name To "Boomer The Dog"
Gary Guy Mathews. A perfectly good name. But Mr. Mathews wants to officially be known as Boomer the Dog, to go along with his homemade fursuit....

Look At These Fucking Hoopsters At Lollapalooza: Part Two
Welcome to the second edition of the Hoopsters of Lollapalooza 2010. There's been some debate over whether of not some of the entrants are real "hipsters" or merely "bros." Why though? This is a forum for ridicule, not ontological precision. Onto the pictures! Part One | Part Two | Part Three...